tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1483659579382804262024-03-05T05:58:13.073-08:00Latte Lovin' MommyMy Life as a New Mom- One Skinny Caramel Macchiato at a Time...(Martinis are Optional)LatteLovinMommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11031550290566639479noreply@blogger.comBlogger136125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148365957938280426.post-77138272561889485372014-05-30T12:16:00.000-07:002014-05-30T12:17:47.593-07:00Gluten-Free Recipe Experiment: Slow Cooker Chicken Verde & Southwest Style Quinoa<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhG0lJBa3gsf0dv-XwxMbo3-HtV7DU401t8Hb4gHJRi3JFIVopLN-n6NHwFWBOwOLM7bX3B2U5o3xHk3FHgbMqxu1Zg0-f0BXhOgIjaYZ6iwb5Wj3z-YQFM-j9Mqw2gAIFIVDU1IjL8VUOQ/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhG0lJBa3gsf0dv-XwxMbo3-HtV7DU401t8Hb4gHJRi3JFIVopLN-n6NHwFWBOwOLM7bX3B2U5o3xHk3FHgbMqxu1Zg0-f0BXhOgIjaYZ6iwb5Wj3z-YQFM-j9Mqw2gAIFIVDU1IjL8VUOQ/s1600/photo.JPG" height="400" width="295" /></a></div>
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While we are not an "anything goes" type of food family, we do avoid most of the overly processed 'junk' in our kitchen but the last time we jumped on a food fad was low-carb about eight years ago. I know that gluten-free is not a fad, for many people it is a necessity for living with Celiac disease but there are people that will jump on something because it's cool or new and run with it.... anyways, I have not had the occasion to need a recipe free of gluten- or dairy for that matter- until last night. The hubby volunteered <strike>us</strike> me to cook dinner for a co-worker recovering from breast cancer surgery. Once I read the reminder e-mail, I freaked a tiny bit inside seeing her dietary requirements and 'phoned a friend' for advice. While meat, potatoes and a veggie were a great suggestion, I decided to take the challenge head on and create something grand and easy.... and it was, and tasty to boot. I will most certainly keep this one in my recipe rotation, bonus points for cooking with an ingredient not attempted before too!<br />
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6 to 8 frozen chicken breasts<br />
28oz can of mild green enchilada sauce<br />
2 cans mild green chiles (4.5oz I believe)<br />
1 large jar of Southwest-style salsa<br />
2 cloves of garlic, pressed (chopped, diced)<br />
Salt & pepper to taste<br />
1 tbsp. Southwestern Style seasoning (I LOVE the one from The Pampered Chef)<br />
Juice from 1 Lime<br />
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Place all ingredients above in your slow cooker and cook on low for six hours or high for four hours. When chicken is thoroughly cooked, remove to another shallow container and shred. Remove some of the liquid from slow cooker and mix with shredded chicken. <br />
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I served with <b>Southwestern Style Quinoa</b> (new ingredient for me!) which was just <b>quinoa </b>cooked to package directions mixed with a bag of frozen <b>sweet corn</b>, two cans of rinsed <b>black beans</b>, more <b>lime juice</b>, a bit of olive oil, and seasonings (your preferred taste) and heated through. Other side dish was steamed broccoli and garnished with fresh avocado slices.<br />
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Hubby ate his as a burrito with sour cream and cheese, so his was not 'dairy-free' but I ate mine as cooked and it was delish!LatteLovinMommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11031550290566639479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148365957938280426.post-13936122419570985242013-11-12T14:26:00.000-08:002013-11-12T14:28:43.157-08:00Operation Yard Sale Complete! (And Some Advice for You!)<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />We had our annual purging yard sale this past weekend. I love the idea of having someone pay you to take away your stuff! It is a shit TON of work but worth it in the end when you rid your house of items that you no longer need and get to make a bit of money in the process! I also love GOING to yard sales and I have my pet peeves so I try to be a mindful seller as well. Yard sales are for <strong>bargain hunting</strong> for sure. <span style="font-size: x-small;">(I decorated the entry way of our house in garage sale chic with the help of a few cans of spray paint and some imagination for under $30.) </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My BFF, Leah, is my yard sale companion, in addition to my begrudging hubby we usually make a good tag team. You will want more than one person to (as in you plus one or two!) at your sale. It will get CROWDED at times- usually between 8 and 9:30.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So my first tip is preparation in the signage and in the merchandising. You can't expect to put up signs scribbled on notebook paper in BIC pen (or paper plates with SALE and an itty bitty arrow on them) and drive traffic to your sale. Furthermore, throwing out everything on the driveway in one pile is a no-no. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Another note about signs.... <strong>Please, please, take the time to take down your signs.</strong> It’s not only inconsiderate to your ‘customers’ that try to find you, but it’s also good for Mother Nature. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">One thing that I hear regularly hear at our sales is “Great Signs!” They are large (18 x 24) DOUBLE sided signs, on ground stakes with very <span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>large red print that says YARD SALE</strong></span> with an equally impressive arrow directing the way. I make them on the computer (four sheets of paper per sign) and tape them onto what I’ll call campaign signs (you know the ones that you see along the road during election season?)- and then they can be shoved into the ground. I've had these for years and they are reused and even borrowed for acquaintance's sales.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Remember, you have about three seconds to catch a passers-by attention and make them turn the car in your direction. It’s not necessary to put the time and date, as long as you put them up and take them down (appoint a family member to help) when your sale is going on; nor should you try to list items in 8-pt font. (If you want to list items, try craigslist- that’s another good way to advertise or find yard sales!) <strong>I can guarantee that if you take the care into making good, attention catching signs, you will actually make more money</strong>. Our sale this year netted a fair amount for our efforts, we average about $500 with the highest price point was about $50. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My other 'expert' advice? </span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Take a few weeks to plan your sale to give you time to clean, mark and sort your items- and to make the signs too. Clean and Marking are operable words here. Although I didn't mark 2/3 of the stuff due to time constraints, I marked the items I wasn't flexible on the price about $5 to $10 more than I wanted. The rest I had an idea somewhere between $1 and up.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Let your friends 'shop' the night before! This is a great 'excuse' to get some last minute help, but also give them a good deal on things that are perfect for them. My friend Michelle walked away with two huge bags of clothes for $30!</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Make good signs- yes, this is the third time I've said it, but.... at least get the poster board from the dollar store and make large letters on it! You can affix it to a box weighted with rocks to keep it standing!</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Post your Sale on Craigslist earlier in the week with highlights and then edit it again the night before to appear for the sale day. Don't forget to remove the ad once your sale is over.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">People will shoplift at your sale. It's a sad fact but it will happen. We post a person at each end of the driveway to deter that and they have to pay to get to their car. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you want to get really organized, while "spring" (or winter/ fall, etc) cleaning, and you come across an item that you don't want, after inspecting it for defects- slap a price sticker on it and throw it in the Garage Sale box tucked away in a hiding spot!</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ask your neighbors, friends or family if they would like to participate. The more wares at your sale, the better. Also, they can bring tables (see below). Multi-family sales always draw a crowd.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">They will come, and they will buy, especially if they don’t have to bend down to look! Borrow as many portable tables and shelves as you can. I attribute the success of our sales to the fact that nearly everything was on a table, clean (if you pick it up and say, ewwwww, so will someone else!) and (most) clearly marked. The fact that people didn't have to rummage and bend down will make them look longer!</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Don’t forget to get change- I usually go with $70 to start, with $1's, $5's and $10's and a bunch of quarters. You will have many people that will give you a $20 for $3 worth of stuff! Carry your change in a purse and put larger bills in the house when you can. A Cash drop for those of you that have ever worked retail)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Make a sign at check-out that says " CASH ONLY" and “All Sales Final”</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Have paper and plastic grocery bags on hand to wrap fragile items and to bag peoples purchases. Offer them bags and they will fill them- more money for you and less to haul away later.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Purchase the little priced dot stickers at the dollar store and use them in a very visible spot on the item. It will save you from having to answer “How Much?” 500 times in one day. If you priced it higher than someone wants to pay, they’ll generally ask if you’ll take X amount. Masking Tape and sharpies work well too. <span style="font-size: x-small;">(I skipped this cardinal rule and although I may have suffered from sales from it, I was crazy busy with life to do pricing justice.) I just knew in general what I wanted for an item in ADVANCE.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">See above? If the time has to be picked up with two hands, a good rule of thumb is to use a larger sticker or affix a piece of paper. Also, be aware of where you stick pricing stickers- make sure you won't ruin the item</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sell in multiples for better value- books, CD’s, clothing. I love sales where I can find three paperback books for $1 or fill a bag with clothes for $5. Get creative with your marketing to attract a sale- group items together- like "new parent's must haves," "college student's dorm room"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Mark items in multiples of 25 cents- it will be easier to make change.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Have an extension cord handy to test out electrical appliances and hook up your radio for musical ambiance</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you think you can get more for an item individually, either consign or Craigslist it by itself. People go to sales wanting a deal and expect to pay about 20% </span><u style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">at most</u><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> to retail value.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Be prepared to haggle and deal. It's an art form. People will also low-ball you and you need to decide in advance what your strategy is. I have had buyers offer me $3 for an item marked $20- that's a stretch.... I'll take $17.... you'll get the idea once your sale begins</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What to price items:</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Shoes</b>- $2 to $5 depending on wear and brand</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Baby Clothing</b>- name brand (Gymboree, GAP, etc.) $1 to $3 depending on quality. I did $1 for each piece and it went flying off the tables. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Adult Clothing</b>- .50c to $3, Denim $5- it's a crap shoot- I did fill a bag for $5 and sold quite a bit</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Baby Equipment</b>- check to ensure it's not recalled, has all the parts and sell for about 30% of retail. (Play Yards $20, Blankets $2, Strollers- $20, etc.) </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Toys</b>- $2- $5 depending on items, Board games and puzzles should be closer to $1- they are a hard sell but will if priced right (people are afraid of missing pieces)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Books</b>- Hardbacks for $1 each, Soft, 3/$1, Kids books .75c</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>CD's/DVDs</b>- $1 to $2</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Home Decor</b>- under $10</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Kitchen Stuff</b>- under $5</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Appliances</b>- check retail prices and CL and price accordingly</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">people don't care what the sentimental value is to you, if you can't bear to part with it, don't put it in the sale.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">if you think you can get more elsewhere, sell it there but the whole point of the sale is to watch it walk away.</span></li>
</ul>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Don't put the shit back in your house once you are done! </span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I was pressed for time this sale and paid someone to clean and haul away the items at the end. BEST. MONEY. SPENT. I'd already spent enough time getting ready for it, and it prevented me from thinking I needed to keep the items. They have already been setting out of view for months, no need to bring it back inside!</span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Be respectful of your neighbors and post no parking signs- I posted no parking signs in front of my two closest neighbors to avoid having cars stop in the middle of my sale blocking the view of 'driver's-by' and also for noise. Starting your sale at dawn is mean for your neighbors. It's their weekend too!</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Check your HOA and city rules for sign posting and sale-hosting laws. Some cities don't allow sign posting on their landmarks or more than one sale per year, etc.</span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Phew! It's a lot of advice but I hope it will help you have an incredibly successful sale!</span></div>
<br />LatteLovinMommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11031550290566639479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148365957938280426.post-2852338405837349782013-08-18T00:00:00.000-07:002013-08-18T00:00:02.904-07:00To My Heart on your Fourth Birthday<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCAl-ySWzYYFf5j9X1Pyqv-2n7cXHE30S-_eV-cq0AmXiyd4fjLCv6-HWCN9bW943ZyPVgVK7AmsVmkfsSsyb1MskWyvH9YgQVAj2dSg7iL1Oi0UMgPlQ9MOdGXEObd15V0iSoaWWXohO-/s1600/1003432_4832193373953_766739480_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCAl-ySWzYYFf5j9X1Pyqv-2n7cXHE30S-_eV-cq0AmXiyd4fjLCv6-HWCN9bW943ZyPVgVK7AmsVmkfsSsyb1MskWyvH9YgQVAj2dSg7iL1Oi0UMgPlQ9MOdGXEObd15V0iSoaWWXohO-/s400/1003432_4832193373953_766739480_n.jpg" width="253" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I remember the day that I found out that we were going to
have you like it was yesterday; and the day that you were born was the very
best day of my life hands down. Your Daddy and I tried for nearly five years to
have you- it was not an easy road to travel, but oh so worth it since <b>you </b>were
the end result. I can’t even begin to tell you how you have changed my life and
it is all for the better. Being a Mom
makes me want to be a better person and being YOUR Mom is the most fulfilling
and rewarding job ever. I wake up to your precious smiling face and thank God
for you. I can't ever put into words how much you mean to us. But please know that it is A LOT </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">when serving you your milk in your favorite princess </span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">sippy </i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">trumps
pressing the brew button on the Keurig.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The past year has held quite a few challenges but so many wonderful
moments and memories with you outshine the bad.
You make a great day amazing and a bad day better, especially when you
wrap your little arms around my neck and tell me that you missed me. <b>How blessed am I?</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Although a healthy growing girl, we've still had our share
of doctors visits this year- I wish to not repeat them, especially not your
spinal tap when you had a weird virus. Worst Mom moment so far- but you were
charming and brave and only cried a bit and had the ENTIRE staff trying to hunt
you down princess stickers after the procedure. You may not have any idea that
you can have perfect strangers eating out of the palm of your hand, but after
watching you blossom, I completely understand.
Might I add that you are an amazing dose of medicine- both Daddy and I
ended up in the hospital at different times and you were the bright spot that
helped us feel better. How so much
empathy can come out of a little person is beyond me. You tell us not to be sad when you see us cry
and to be brave when you think something is going to hurt us and although we
know it to be, hearing your angelic little voice saying those things is
simultaneously heart wrenching and comforting. You are so amazingly smart and resilient,
flexible and easy going and empathetic and a light to any darkness. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You started PreK (and <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:placename w:st="on">Vacation</st1:placename> <st1:placename w:st="on">Bible</st1:placename>
<st1:placetype w:st="on">School</st1:placetype></st1:place>) this year and are
well on your way to being Valedictorian and Homecoming Queen, I’m sure. You
waltz into the place like you own it <span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>(with the tuition we pay, we should….)</i></span> and
I love to hear about your day when I pick you up. The things that you learn
(both good and bad) are impressive. I know I am biased but how can I not be
proud of you when you point out an octagon or write your name <i><span style="font-size: x-small;">(you’re a lefty,
by the way- you can thank your BopPop and Grandma Helen for that)</span></i> in better
handwriting than Daddy. Your teacher’s
name is Ms. Miriam and she too has fallen in love with you. I really can’t blame her.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You will find out one day that a Mommy loves her child
unconditionally but you my dear, are something special. You almost glow. You are amazing but not perfect, and you shouldn't be- <b>make mistakes</b>, its how we learn and grow- but please, <a href="http://on.fb.me/1bIroY6" target="_blank">please,please stay out of my nail polish</a>; play dough goes back into the container with
lids ON <i><span style="font-size: x-small;">(ask me some day how you convinced your Grandma K to eat it like a
cookie)</span></i> and stickers and permanent marker is meant for paper and only paper. (Stickers
have shown up mysteriously in some crazy places…. Must be the dogs) </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I’m not the perfect mom but will be the BEST mom that I can
be to you and help guide you in the BEST life that we can provide for you. I
will make mistakes, and I will lose my patience and even growl at you when I
know that I shouldn't and I will always remind you that I do love you and
apologize when I am truly in the wrong. Never be afraid to say you’re sorry and
really mean it. Don’t ever be afraid to
give an honest compliment (and continue to give them with reckless abandon like
you already do- you probably really made the lady in the grocery store with the
pretty dress’ day) and don’t be afraid to love and tell someone you love
them. Tell your best girl friends, your
boyfriend <span style="font-size: x-small;">(<i>gasp</i>, but I know its coming- you will be a heart breaker)</span>, your dog
and cat and your family. Love is free
and freeing. Love also hurts, but it
teaches us to be better, stronger and to even love harder.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I hope your passion never fades. Today it is for your
Princess collection (of all sizes, materials and conditions <span style="font-size: x-small;">(please forgive the
dogs for altering Aurora’s dress)</span> pizza and girly-girl dresses, someday it will
be shoes and purses <span style="font-size: x-small;">(Your dad will roll his eyes and complain when you own 30
pairs of flip flops but it will be out of love- just trust me on this one.)</span> But
if you happen to find a zest for something that is completely off the wall- so
be it- just make sure that your favorite ‘things’ are yours and not something
that you are trying to do or like to impress someone. (<span style="font-size: x-small;">As much as I love your
Daddy, I will never be a Laker fan, but he knew that going in…. in fact we
spent our first day of wedded bliss at a basketball game of both of our
favorite teams…. That was over 11 years ago)</span> Your hobbies, likes and dislikes
will make you interesting and uniquely YOU.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Speaking of fervor and zest, you've been planning your birthday
party since the day after you turned three- it will be your dream Ariel the
Mermaid party although scaled down a bit. You get the love of entertaining from
me <i><span style="font-size: x-small;">(I’m Sorry and You’re Welcome)</span></i>- just remember to always be a gracious host
and take time away from making the food and cleaning up the mess to enjoy the
moment with the people that are there- you never know when they won’t be. I hope the memories of your fourth birthday
will be wonderful. I’m going to fill up your playroom with balloons and
decorate the house even though your party isn’t until next week (and not even
here, might I add)- balloons in your room will be our birthday tradition. I am even going to see if Avery the Elf can
make a visit from the North Pole to pop in and say hello. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thank you for making the last 1,461 days the best in my
life- I look forward to experiencing the memories that Year Four has in store
for us. We love you so very much Baby
Girl. <b>Happy Birthday.</b></span></div>
LatteLovinMommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11031550290566639479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148365957938280426.post-73450688162443744712013-02-06T11:54:00.000-08:002013-02-06T11:54:14.871-08:00So, I Got a New "Job"......<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Today is day three of my new job. Like most employees experience at their first week of work, it’s hard to decide what to wear, it’s anxiety-ridden, stressful and I don’t really get to talk to my boss or co-workers until the end of the day. My new job, for the time being, is Stay-at-Home Mom (SAHM).
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> If you do the math, the time on “the job” might not be adding up; after all MiniMe is actually 3-<span style="font-size: xx-small;">1/2</span>. It’s just that last Friday was the final day at a job that I’ve held for a quarter of my life. I started there just a few days after graduating from college and have worked there for the past 11 years; and now <em>here</em> I am. This change wasn’t a decision that I made on my own, I’ve joined the ranks of many Americans who have been downsized- my position was eliminated. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> I am terribly sad about that chapter of my life ending. When you hear people talk about loving their jobs, well, I was one of them. I mean I really, really, really <strong>LOVED</strong> my job, it was a huge part of who I was. I put every ounce of effort into it and my reward was…. Well, this and it truly is bittersweet.
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Before I actually had MiniMe, we didn’t even discuss me staying home with her- I wanted to work, in fact I needed to work- not just for the money, but for the self-fulfillment and personal enrichment. I felt like a well-rounded person working AND being a mom <span style="font-size: x-small;">(yet, I always tried to find better work/life balance- go figure?!!!?)</span> We also were blessed that our arrangements for daycare were not only free, but with Anti-Latte’s mom, so Mini was in the loving care of her grandma every day. And this, is why I didn’t feel guilty for working- well, once or twice when she was sick… but how lucky were we?
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> She will still spend many days at her grandma’s house for several reasons- she gets to see her cousins every other day, I still have some other commitments that will necessitate daycare as well as the fact that Grandma K is a recent widow and MiniMe is a great diversion and excellent therapy. I also don’t want to completely interrupt her schedule should I be fortunate enough to find my next wonderful job sooner rather than later. Also, we will be enrolling her into pre-school this Spring.
Yeah, you’re thinking, “She’s not a <u>real</u> SAHM.” <em>You’re right;</em> I have no clue what I am. I’m stuck in emotional limbo of being completely devastated about being laid off to feeling some excitement to getting to spend more time with my family. <em>How cool is it that for the first time since I was 12, I don’t have a work commitment? How sad is it that I don’t have a work commitment? How awesome is it that I can stay at home with my child? How freaked out am I about staying home with my child? Will I get bored? Will we all still like each other at the end of the day?</em> <span style="font-size: x-small;">(Oh, c’mon- you’ve experienced those weekends where you couldn’t wait to get back to the office!)</span> What will I wear? No, seriously. I walked into my closet over the weekend and broke into hysterics upon seeing my work wardrobe. I think I have more pajamas than I do casual clothes <span style="font-size: x-small;">(and I refuse to venture out of the house, on purpose, in my pajamas).</span> So, I wore yoga pants, and went to the gym twice in the past two days-- this coming from someone who only set foot in the gym twice all of <u>last</u> year. It’s something that I CAN control at this point so I’m relishing it.
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> The loss of a job feels like a death- and I’ve gone through most of the stages of grieving over it, not in order and I'm sure I'm not done with it. It is extremely personal. A part of me is gone now and I’m not sure what to do. I’ve started with a very lofty to-do list- things that I’ve always wanted to get ‘around to,’ organizing the CD collection <span style="font-size: x-small;">(seriously- I want them all on iTunes so I can pitch the clutter),</span> watching <strike>68</strike> 64 episodes of “The Closer” on my DVR; you know, really important things.
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> I’ve done most of the work to get ahead of this- my resume is so polished <span style="font-size: x-small;">(so explain, why isn’t anyone calling!?)</span> as is my LinkedIn profile, I’ve already applied for unemployment insurance <span style="font-size: x-small;">(this will be interesting!)</span> and I’m starting to network. I very much want to take my wonderful husband’s advice and try to enjoy this time, it’s just weird. Not having to go in to an office on any given week day. That’s one thing on my list though- organizing my office- creating an organized nice one to ‘commute’ to when I’m job hunting or working on my direct sales business <span style="font-size: x-small;">(who knows! That’s a great focus point too- did you know that there are many women in this country who make six figures work in direct sales?- watch me!)</span>
There will be good days- those packed with enough errands and appointments to keep me busy; and then those days where the thought of my ‘former’ life will bring me to instant tears. Many benefits of being out of work- less money for gas or lunches on the go, dealing with commuter traffic, dry cleaning bills, great coffee from my Keurig; and then the downfall- my boss is super demanding- but when she throws those grubby little hands around my neck and says, “I love you Mommy!” it brings me back to reality and I take a deep breath and think that this might be the best job ever.
</span>LatteLovinMommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11031550290566639479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148365957938280426.post-1783020863112024732013-01-21T00:27:00.002-08:002013-01-21T00:30:09.497-08:00Controlling What You Can...<br />
I saw a Facebook post today about a little girl who died due to complications from Gaucher disease. I didn't know her, but as a fellow mother, I shed a tear for little Addy and walked over to my daughter to give her a great big hug.<br />
<br />
The thought of losing my child is my worst nightmare and I get choked up just thinking about it, ( yet I still growled at her for creating a complete disaster in 30 seconds flat with a deck of playing cards and tissue paper... And felt like an ass.) You can't control death, you can't control the economy, guns, who's elected president, gas prices, ever increasing taxes and comparatively shrinking paychecks, jobs, your friends.... many many things are out of direct control. 2012 was a long, emotional lesson on that for my family; one that will NOT (if I have any control!!) be repeated in the near future.<br />
<br />
I've learned that you cannot control those external events. You can, however control your immediate surroundings, your support circle and your reaction to those. While other factors in life are spinning out of control focusing on those few things that you CAN control is cathartic. With each step you take in finding order in the chaos- just washing the dishes and having a clean counter in the midst of being emotionally spent helps you focus on a small achievement and a sense of order. Sometimes it feels like everything is too overwhelming.... It probably is, but life could always be worse. I'm not trying to be morose, just realistic.<br />
<br />
When you're miserable because of family health problems and consequently death, you have to take a minute to appreciate the little girl growing up in front of you, and reflecting on special memories of those we've lost. When you've been completely shafted in another aspect of your life, get pissed off, angry and hurt. There is a grieving process for it all. But let that run its course and formulate a plan to get over it, learn and laugh again. It's okay to let life events drain you emotionally dry but not worth giving up completely... Stand up, dust yourself off and start focusing on what you CAN control: taking charge of your health, organizing your sock drawer, plan your menus, call a very funny friend, toast to tomorrow (with a glass or two of wine- NOT the entire jug!)<br />
<br />
Life happens- sometimes it's shitty, most of the time it's good but the true test is how you control your reaction and your plan. Look back to what happened six months ago, six years ago and where you've grown from there. The discomfort was temporary (in theory!) and the lesson still remains.<br />
<br />
I learned last year that life is TOO EFFING SHORT to feud, hold grudges, to not apologize and you can't say 'I love you' enough. People and memories are precious and irreplaceable-everything else is. I can still call my Mom and tell her I'm thinking of her, while a friend of mine cannot. I can't relate but I empathize and offer my support when I remember that she had a shitty year too. It's a club we don't really want to be in, and when we get through those 12 Steps we can 'sponsor' friends having a shitty time and help them focus on small blessings until life returns to a somewhat normal state. And then I hear my MiniMe shuffling down the hallway debating on which Princess has THE prettiest dress,and it makes me smile and gives me the strength to conquer tomorrow one minute at a time.LatteLovinMommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11031550290566639479noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148365957938280426.post-37379004084553282062012-08-24T00:41:00.001-07:002012-08-24T00:41:17.756-07:00Happy 3rd Birthday MiniLatte!!!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5CaXu2S21mGf1DaGuyfP5_DlTB3G4s5wAdxSlwNEOOQ8JB1eGHEn6pVUXFUHOJm6w2pNb0LUWSlvzlZ1N_lCqF_YLsNq0xPrbpcF6JsyKu2CQE8fsWVRcCHA7HRPM82SANHLF_mO8I3Qc/s1600/555583_3415482717072_2090478518_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5CaXu2S21mGf1DaGuyfP5_DlTB3G4s5wAdxSlwNEOOQ8JB1eGHEn6pVUXFUHOJm6w2pNb0LUWSlvzlZ1N_lCqF_YLsNq0xPrbpcF6JsyKu2CQE8fsWVRcCHA7HRPM82SANHLF_mO8I3Qc/s320/555583_3415482717072_2090478518_n.jpg" title="The Birthday Princess" width="191" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My Dear Daughter;</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This past weekend we were surrounded by your family and
friends that love you to help celebrate the beginning of your third year of
life. I was honored by their presence and am always in awe of the amount of
people whose lives you have touched at such a young age. </span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Our family has been going <a href="http://lattelovingmommy.blogspot.com/2012/04/avalanche-continues.html" target="_blank">through so much this year</a> with
serious health issues, loved ones passing- including the four-legged type,
general stress and just life. Yet the one bright spot in all of this is YOU.
How can a little one such as you make such an impression? With infectious
giggles, a 10,000 mega watt smile, kind words and a hug- that’s how. I’d love to
be able to take 100% credit for this but half of that also goes to your Daddy
and then we also have to share some of that with the rest of the village that
helps to raise you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But you ultimately
are the one who processes what we share with you and then constantly amaze us
with your humor, wit and intelligence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
know that you are thinking that’s what <strong>all</strong> parents have to say about their
kids, but I have to disagree. <u>You really are the best daughter anyone could
ever hope for</u>- and you are only <strong>THREE</strong>. I cannot wait to see what you do with
the rest of your life with all of that charm! <span style="font-size: x-small;">(<strong>that,</strong> you get from ME!)</span></span><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" name="_GoBack"></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">To say that all of us rely on you for our happiness means
that you have a mighty big job- one that you are completely oblivious to, yet
you perform it so well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Before you came
earth side, I had no idea what being a mom was going to be like. I thought
mostly about sleepless nights, diaper duty, cleaning up puke from my work
clothes, and trying not to get a headache when you cried incessantly. And that
was after the labor and delivery that I was PETRIFIED of. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><em>Wow, could I have been more wrong.</em><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><em> </em> </span>What I <em>didn’t</em> realize was the immense amount
of love that I would have for you the second that you were born <span style="font-size: x-small;">(I won’t even
hold it against you that I didn’t have time for an epidural) </span>and that I would
stand in front of a train for you.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think that I’ve had
more sleepless nights in college and now, but not because of you, just because
of life and trying to balance everything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Diaper duty ended a few months ago- but I have to admit that your Daddy
changed way more Huggies than I did however, I don’t miss those days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><em><span style="font-size: x-small;">(Well, just a little when I had time to gaze
into your beautiful copper eyes and tickle your little feet…. Changing time was
really a bonding time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You weren’t a
squirmy girl. And in fact, you were very easy going about the state of your
diaper.)</span></em> You didn’t really spit up on my clothes- you were a clean girl;
however, I can do without your very trigger-happy gag reflex; I have cleaned up
my fair share of toddler ‘spit out’ (as you call it) rather than baby regurg.
And you aren’t a crier, never was. Such an easy going, sweet girl. Thank you
for giving me a swift kick in the ass and changing my perception of
motherhood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: x-small;">(Your Grandma Linda was
right that God wasn’t going to give me more than I can handle…. Well, with you,
yes; with all the other shit, not so much!)</span> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even with labor- it was over so quick…. But,
my dear, it isn’t true what they say, I haven’t forgotten the pain of the
delivery- that’s another story. But you were worth every single little 45
second increment; and worth the four-year plus wait that it took to have you.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I can write forever and rave about your sweet personality
and marvel at the stuff that comes out of your mouth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s totally adorable (that might change in
13 years, but I’ll always have this to look back upon) and entertaining.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not sure how you got to be so smart- you
keep us on our toes, but your comprehension also makes our life easier.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On that note, don’t ever be afraid to be an
intelligent woman.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Your beauty will get
you noticed but your intelligence will help you accomplish whatever you want.
Don’t be afraid to be successful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Today you’re
tackling 100-piece Princess puzzles and learning how to count in Spanish;
tomorrow it will be quadratic equations and SAT vocabulary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Do they still give you 200 points for
spelling your name correctly?) </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">You also love people. People love you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>From Nick at your swim school; your little
friends; <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>to the grocery store clerks,
you will dazzle them with your sqwunchy smile. These people right now are nice;
not everyone is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We will teach you how
to differentiate between good, honest people and to listen to your intuition if
you think someone is icky. I wish that I could shield you from the crap, but I
won’t always be able to completely (but not from lack of trying!) but we will
teach you how to overcome obstacles and adversity with grace and confidence and
how to have a support team around to help you as life won’t always be easy. </span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Trust me, these past six months- outside of this house- have
been hell on earth. Emotionally I am done, but I see you and I am reenergized.
You give me hope on what the future holds for us. I love watching you
experience things for the first time- a carousel ride, trick-or-treating, fireworks,
the petting zoo, a piñata, new food- it’s really cool.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then you also have gotten to see sadness
when your Grandpa Jerry died and Grandma Helen was very, very sick. Everybody
cried…. You gave us hugs and kisses and asked us if we felt better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m glad we have been honest about our
feelings and shared with you that it’s a part of life and doesn’t have anything
to do with you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You have become so empathetic
and caring.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps not ideal to have to
share this much sorrow with a toddler, but it’s real life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think it helps you to see that sadness
doesn’t last forever and it’s okay to smile behind the tears. Thank you for
being our little ball of therapy!</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">See, I could go on and on about all of the reasons why I
love you so much. There are 400 million of them, if not more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I promise you that will never change- except
to grow exponentially more. All I ask is that you be true to yourself, that you
are kind and honest, you use your manners and help those less fortunate than you.
Daddy and I will in turn protect you as best as we can, provide for you opportunities
for you to grow and love you unconditionally.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You may not always ‘like’ us, but know that we will always have your
back. (When you don’t like us, it’s time to call in the grandparents….)</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I want to close out by simply thanking you for making me a
better person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I feel more, love more,
hope more and smile more because of you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">With All My Love,</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Mommy</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
LatteLovinMommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11031550290566639479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148365957938280426.post-9937579678001873572012-08-09T22:14:00.000-07:002012-08-09T22:14:12.685-07:00A Message from a Funeral:<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I went to a funeral yesterday. I’d only met her twice-
briefly- but she is the mom of a work colleague that I very much admire. She
was 84-years young, and did have some health issues, but you never want to see
someone in your life lose a loved one, or even lose a loved one yourself. This
was my third funeral since February.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Two
for people I didn’t actually know, and one for my father-in-law. The one
similarity of all of them is that they were loved greatly by many people. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My father-in-law, JerrellRay passed away on April 28<sup><span style="font-size: x-small;">th</span></sup>
after a very brief, yet shitty fight with lung cancer. Well, all cancer is
shitty, but when it takes you away from your family only 13 days after
diagnoses, it’s really, really shitty. He was a smoker. He probably had cancer
for awhile. We’re glad that the cancer was not diagnosed any earlier so that
the last years of his life were lived exactly as he wanted and not being even
more ill from chemo and medications. He was a daily part of MiniLatte’s life
and she asks about him often even though she knows Grandpa Jerry is in heaven
watching over us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jerry’s death actually
seemed to bring more life to the family- we fostered relationships with his
four daughters over the weeks of his memorial and inurnment and mended a
relationship that shouldn’t have needed it as well. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"> This whole thing happened in the middle of my mom’s hospitalization,
post-surgery for me and the day before my birthday. I’ll have more birthdays…..
the stress hastened my healing and my village has helped in taking care of mom
and in turn, me. People that love me, MiniLatte and AntiLatte. I couldn’t have
done it without them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s one of the
reasons why I went to funerals of people that I really didn’t know…. your
actions speak so loudly during difficult times and that goes both ways.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There were people that I thought would be
there for us that weren’t and then those, that anticipated our needs and took
care of us. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Funerals also make you appreciate what you have. I came home
and hugged my little girl a bit tighter, told my love 143, and gave my mom a
kiss and told her that I love her and am so thankful and happy that she is such
a fighter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A detour to see my failing 93
year-old grandfather and my wonderful dad made for a long day, but an important
part of it nonetheless. I’ve made a promise to myself that I would make sure to
tell those that I love exactly that more often. There are many, so it will take
awhile, but it will be worth it. I don’t want to have any “I wish I would have
told them” anymore…..</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>LatteLovinMommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11031550290566639479noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148365957938280426.post-3607382496222755662012-04-27T20:36:00.000-07:002013-01-21T00:49:03.415-08:00The Avalanche Continues....<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><em>(I'd prefer to title this My Life is a Shitstorm, but to avoid being moderated I decided to use some filter)</em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">There are not enough martinis or lattes to help me through the hardships that has fallen upon my family. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> Trust me, I'm not a 'woes me' kind of girl and am one to tend to see the glass as half full but there's just a point in your life where you have to say ENOUGH. I'm waving the red flag now, unfortunately, my surrender will have to wait a bit longer.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> My <a href="http://lattelovingmommy.blogspot.com/2012/03/really-bad-dream.html" target="_blank">mom has been hospitalized</a> with a long-term illness since March 7th- nearly two months of daily hospital visits and holding my breath whenever the phone rings. For the most part the journey has been emotionally taxing, not to mention one that took a toll on my job, my home-based business, my husband, my daughter, my friendships and even my health. It's been a roller-coaster ride that I would very much NOT like to repeat in this lifetime; unfortunately it's getting worse. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> I underwent my very first invasive surgery last week <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><em>(the same day mom had a tracheotomy!)</em></span>- had to have a cholecystectomy- a fancy medical term for gall bladder removal. Okay, so I wasn't even quite sure what a gall bladder did until it kicked me in the ass, er, rib cage a few weeks ago. I was leaving the hospital after visiting with Mom and had the inclination to walk myself into the ER on my way to the parking lot, but that hospital wasn't my provider. After agonizing at home for a few hours, and a call to the advice nurse, we dropped Mini off at the grandparents and went to the ER. The nurse called it on the spot- I guess fluffy <em><span style="font-size: x-small;">(not so much anymore)</span></em> white females of childbearing age present for gall bladder disease quite commonly. I thought I was going to give birth again. Quite painful. After a five hour stint, I was released with pain meds and a follow-up appointment for an ultrasound. The ultrasound did in fact determine that I had gall stones and would need a surgical follow-up. Fortunately, I wasn't harboring an infection and didn't need emergency surgery, but would have to watch my diet. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> This is something that is normally caused by a fat-laden diet, which mine is not. I am not a fast-food junkie- my idea of fast food is in fact Subway.... well there is that pregnancy craving of an occasional crumb cake donut- so what if I've had 32 months to do so. I suspect that it was a rapid weight loss with the stress of my Mom's medical situation that caused my gall bladder to produce enough stones to fill up more than half of its capacity. Meanwhile, I've been off of my feet to recover and Anti-latte had to fill in my spot to go visit my mom, and his step-dad and take care of Mini and take care of me. I swear that I was as low maintenance as possible. Even after the second 11-hour ER visit (long story- I'm fine, but a bit pissed at said hospital's lack of ultrasound techs during the night shift). I'm recovering although a bit slower than I had hoped- I suspect an inordinate amount of stress has been a factor. What's more stressful than a loved one being hospitalized and undergoing the knife yourself? Oh just a the fact that I hate CANCER.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> My father-in-law has been battling a very nasty bout of pneumonia, well, since my mom was hospitalized, actually, and an infection on top of that. He visited my mom at the hospital when she was on her deathbed and it prompted him to quit smoking cold turkey. Between being ill and the smoking cessation patch, he has been really miserable and after several weeks and numerous doctors appointments, he has been diagnosed with lung cancer. After his initial diagnosis he had to wait for almost two weeks to meet with an oncologist to find out that it was Stage 4, and that is had spread to his liver, lymph nodes and more. As I write, Anti-latte and his mom and other family members are awaiting a visit from the hospital chaplain to discuss the plan to discharge his to hospice to live out his final days. We thought it would be months, but there's a chance that it could be just hours..... so fast. It was like he was playing with Mini one day and unable to walk the next. Now he is suffering and everyone sits by to support him. It's torturous. I love this man and know how the family feels- the waiting and pleading is all too fresh in my memory from seven weeks ago. Now we just hope that with enough medical intervention, they can keep him comfortable. We'll surround him with all the love that he needs while we await him earning his wings. I know that Mini will miss him dearly and we'll ensure that she won't forget the man who claims that she has his eyes.... <span style="font-size: x-small;"><em>(um, no, but it was always a source of laughs at family get togethers.)</em></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS; font-size: x-small;"><em> </em><span style="font-size: small;">This presents an additional problem with child care as they were my main providers- we can wing it for the next week while I'm on medical leave and then have to figure out what to do next. Mini's grandmas' #1 priority should be caring for her husband... I think I have it figured out, but it's yet another stressor to deal with.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"> And if that isn't quite enough to make anyone crazy, there's more. We've had two other family members who had to make ER visits within the last 12 hours; and my mom was moved to another care facility that is a 40-minute drive away. It's a step-down rehab unit to prepare her for surgery, still a hospital, but the drive is going to be so very inconvenient. I used to work out that way and don't look forward to the daily commute, but we do what we have to do. It's just another wrinkle.... as usual, I'll iron it out..... your good vibes and prayers are much appreciated.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"> </span>LatteLovinMommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11031550290566639479noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148365957938280426.post-24376465151844281422012-04-17T23:34:00.000-07:002012-04-17T23:36:05.998-07:00Day 42: Guilt<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I smiled my ass of on Sunday; despite all of the medical drama going on with our family, I painted my face all up and trekked to the city- sans-MiniLatte to enjoy dinner and a concert with my hubby. It was a blast, and I feel guilty as shit. I know I shouldn't, however, according to my therapist, it's a very common emotional response to an experience such as mine. It's called survivor's guilt and is actually a form of PTSD. Even though there wasn't a shared event between us that landed my mom in the hospital and not me, this extended hospitalization is a traumatic event that is dramatically shaping our lives and I have to cope with the fall out and the emotions that go with this. Trust me, I've been doing my share of bargaining to wish my mom healthy again. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> Back in February, with just a little under a week to go until Mom came for her visit; I had one of those red-letter days- work was fantastic; the weather was summer-like and I came home to two e-mails; one congratulating me for getting picked for a Meet & Greet with Blake Shelton at his upcoming concert, and the other with pre-sale tickets for one of my favorite bands- Train- for their San Francisco tour. I was beyond excited. I frantically called my mom until she picked up the phone because I was so excited to share all of the good news. Not that any of it benefited her, but because she is always so supportive of me. As usual our phone conversation was uplifting and filled with laughter- we could do that, make each other laugh over nearly anything, our sense of humor are very similar (is that genetic??!!). </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> There have been so many celebratory events since she went in the hospital- St. Patrick's Day, our ten year anniversary; her 62nd birthday, Easter that have been low key and glazed over. All-out celebrating just doesn't feel right, nor do I have the energy. We've also managed to go to two concerts and a basketball game during this time. The outings are much needed distractions and although fun, I spent most of the time feeling guilty for attempting to have a good time while my incredible mother is bed-ridden, a prisoner in her own body..... I'm somewhat rational and realize that my presence either in the hospital or elsewhere isn't going to change the outcome of her prognosis for that day. It just doesn't feel right to be having a good time either; it also doesn't feel right to wallow in negative emotions. There isn't a happy medium right now- if there was, I'd give anything to find it- I'd give so much more to wave a magic wand and make her instantly better. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> I also know that if she could talk, my mom would tell me to laugh, smile and play. She wouldn't want me to be missing out on living and in fact is probably feeling like shit herself for thinking that I'm sacrificing for her. I am, but that is just something that you do for someone that you love so very much. I know that if this situation instead was myself and MiniLatte, I would tell her to go, live, laugh, play. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> I also have a hard time with the conversations with her- I used to talk to her when I was stressed before and she would tell me that she wished she could be right there with me. Well, now she is, <em>but she isn't.</em> Is she thinking that, and it's having a detrimental effect on her emotional well-being? I tell her a story and she cries. She can't tell me why- it breaks my heart. I can't even really talk about the weather.... It's exhausting. What should I do......</span>LatteLovinMommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11031550290566639479noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148365957938280426.post-18524151930916839092012-04-14T21:31:00.001-07:002012-04-14T21:33:15.180-07:00Day 38: JinxedWe have a running joke around our house to not bring attention to the fact that things are going well.... like, "I haven't gotten sick all year...." "I haven't missed one green light yet," the instant you say it, it happens. The next day you awake with a scratch throat, or you hit the next 10 signals red, red,red. Jinx.
I jinxed it- the earlier post about mom doing so well completely went sideways. I recived a call this morning around 8:30- when the 231 prefix comes up it always makes my stomach drop.... and sure enough..... Mom became unresponsive this morning and they called a Code Blue to revive her. (I hear these every day at the hospital--- it makes me sad especially when the next intercom page is followed by one for a chaplain.) She recived CPR and needed to intubate her yet again- if you're counttingg, this time makes four.
Back to square one: arterial line; feeding tube; monitors; back in the Cardiac ICU. The diagnosis from today is that she aspirated on her own saliva and began choking; with her already in a precarious condition with her lungs,this caused her to stop breathing and then her heart stopped beating. Fortunatley she didn't have to be shocked..... if there is anything fortunate in this situation.
Her lungs are in really bad shape- from the COPD and pulmonary edema. For this reason alone, she may not be a candidate for heart surgery, ever. But they said we'll have to wait out the next 24 to 72 hours. That must be the standard response as I am having a vivid flashback to March 8th when I first heard that her condition was grave. She pulled through that time- I hope that her has the fortitude and heart to do it once again..... and that I can stand by patiently watching. This is so. flipping. hard. I'm surrounded by a team of very supportive people to help me through this and the only person that I want to go running to right now is my Mom..... so ironic. I can hear her telling me, "Oh babe, I'm so sorry that you are going through this." She wasn't really one to offer unsolicited advice but she sure is a great listener. Amazingly so. She's always been that way. And offers up a funny one liner in that charming sense of humor of hers to make you laugh and temporarily forget about your troubles.
I wish that I could remember more now to get me through
I am so, so glad that we took MiniLatte to see her on Thursday. She looked amazing and un-alarming so MiniLatte was happy to see her Grandma and vice versa. A bright spot Im sure. My intentions are also to reminder her what she has to fight for-- to see this wonderful little girl grow up. She will get to see that. She has to, I can't imagine my life without my Mom.
The next few days are going to have some sleepless nights attached to them and I know that the walk from the parking garage is going to be tortuorously long enough for that enormous lump to appear in my stomach as I fear what I'm going to walk into......LatteLovinMommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11031550290566639479noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148365957938280426.post-56387929005390856372012-04-14T03:16:00.000-07:002012-04-14T03:16:42.065-07:00Day 37<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">A glimpse of <em>'before'</em> Mom today. Before the heart 'incident' that has so turned my world upside down. She was sitting up in a chair when I walked into the room this afternoon and gave me a big smile when she saw the vase of one dozen pink roses that I brought for her; she can have flowers now that she has been transferred to a Progressive Care Unit instead of the ICU. "Oh, babe, they're beautiful...." she whispers and then her head drops down to her chest. Speaking four words takes an unimaginable amount of energy for someone who's been hospitalized for so long. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> Forming each word, let alone a sentence is something that you or I may take for granted; even the simple act of sitting upright in a chair or brushing your teeth may seem so mundane. For Mom, they're tasks that must be thought out and deplete all of the energy from an already-taxed body. She has not suffered any neurological damage during her hospitalization, however the large amounts of sedation has made talking quite the chore. Walking is another story- she has lost most of her muscle tone and cannot support herself in an upright position sitting. Yes, she was sitting in a chair today, however she was secured to the chair with a Posey belt with an attendant not too far away. The 90-minutes of sitting left her spent- which is actually a good thing as she might get some much needed rest and will not suffer from anxiety the rest of the day.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> We found out yesterday that she is weeks away from the heart surgery that she needs to replace the valves. She won't survive it in her current condition- it is a surgery that a somewhat healthy person will have problems recovering from so that option is completely off of the table. The surgeons are going to reevaluate her each week; the nurses and support team will be providing her with aggressive therapy to help get her on the road to recovery much faster. "If it were my mom, I wouldn't do it," states the surgeon. I understand that and appreciate that- I just wanted the doctors to be straight with me. Her primary pulmonologist and cardiologist weren't telling me part of the story- for each internal organ that is not working correctly, it lessens recovery by 25%. With low functioning lungs, hear and liver, there's only a 25% chance of recovery at this point- wait it out and odds will improve. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> Fine, we'll wait this out day by day. In the meantime, try to provide her with the moral and emotional support that she needs to cope with her new 'living arrangements' (at least it's a private room!) and be her advocate. I'm so thankful that an acquaintance is actually an RN in that unit and has called dibs on my Mom whenever she is on shift. She's a great nurse and takes extra special care of mom and goes the extra mile for us. Another little blessing in this adventure- I'll take each one that we find! Especially because things are so difficult.... trying to return to some sense of normal at home outside of the hospital. We'll see- it will have to be after my own surgery (yeah, really- I have to have my gall bladder removed- nice timing, eh?) next week. Oh, and I almost forgot to mention this is on top of the news that a very close family member has been diagnosed with lung cancer (nameless right now as most of the family doesn't yet know); and my 93 year-old paternal grandfather is currently in hospice care with bladder cancer. This year has been a dozy--- that's why we are just surviving life one day at a time right now. We're not the first, nor will be the last, family to overcome adversity but sometimes it's a lonely journey...... </span>LatteLovinMommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11031550290566639479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148365957938280426.post-2965257208109678972012-03-31T00:07:00.000-07:002012-03-31T00:08:40.663-07:00Day 24<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span>It’s been 24 days. A very, very long month. I’m still having
the hardest time processing that my Mom is in the hospital- and then it hits
me. I’m driving to pick up my daughter and tell the hands-free to <em>“Call Mom,”</em>
and then hit the cancel button on the steering wheel just as quickly. It’s
habit; I ALWAYS call my mom on my way home so we can share a few laughs,
especially if they are over something silly that MiniLatte did last night; or
vent about something going on elsewhere in my life. She can’t answer right now,
she’s laying in an uncomfortable hospital bed in the ICU surrounded by wires,
tubes and cords; a ventilator is helping her breathe; between three to six
drugs are stabilizing her heart rate, blood pressure, pain, etc. The staff at
the hospital really is amazing- they are doing everything within their power to
provide support and comfort until surgery. And I mean everything- she is
helpless. But I’m tired of seeing them almost more than I see my husband and
daughter. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"> Her heart is in really rough shape and isn’t going to get
any better without open heart surgery to replace at least one valve.
Unfortunately because she keeps running a fever; some days high, some days; low
grade, the surgeons won’t even touch her. She has to be fever-free for a
minimum of five consecutive days. Five very long days. Days in which other
complications could crop up- pneumonia, MRSA, another infection and prolong yet
again the procedure that she needs to recover. It’s driving me nuts. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, this week my condition has been upgraded
from survival-mode- just doing whatever the bare minimum is to get through the
day- to functioning.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"> I put on make-up again on Wednesday; even cooked dinner and worked
a few days this week (I’ve been off of work since she was admitted to the ICU).
I’ve not been much of a partner to my husband; he’s holding it together for me
but it’s starting to take a toll on him as well. I have tried to focus some
energy into being a Mom- my daughter adds pure joy to the end of a long and
draining day. When I’m spent, she throws her little arms around my legs and
says, <em>“I miss you Mommy. You not sad anymore.”</em> It breaks my heart with both
happiness and sadness. I’m trying not to let my sorrow and stress affect her.
She knows that Mommy’s Mommy is sick and in the hospital trying to get better
but wants to kiss her boo boo. I tell her that I am sad because of that but she
makes me happy. She’s wise beyond her 32 short months and has more empathy than
I can believe.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"> My step-dad today told me that he was worried about me. I am
too. I worry that I won’t have the strength to get through another day of
waiting. I want to take care of myself- my appetite has resumed within the past
week- that might be curbed by the Zoloft though- it makes me nauseous. Yep,
Zoloft.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m seeking a little help from
my prescription-strength friends; Atavan, Zoloft and Trazodone. They were
probably necessary before this extraordinarily stressful event, but even more
so now that my anxiety and insomnia are through the roof. Are they working? Well,
I’m resting a bit better. I haven’t had an anxiety attack in about a week; not
sure if it’s because Mom is stable, or <em>I am</em>. The Trazodone makes me sleepy, but
I still wake up at 4 a.m..<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(BTW, have
you ever read the entire warning label on a prescription? I think my before
symptoms might have been more manageable than the side effects- crazy!)
Sometimes in the morning, I remember the dreams I’m having about her; they’re
realistic and make me sad. And then my sweet little girl rolls over and says, “Hi
Mama,” and I feel a little better but I hope she won’t have to go through this
some day.</span>LatteLovinMommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11031550290566639479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148365957938280426.post-66012611764154008102012-03-27T00:30:00.000-07:002012-04-27T20:39:46.786-07:00A Really Bad Dream<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>My Mom almost died two weeks ago.</strong> Seriously. And I've been living one of my worst nightmares since. A roller coaster ride that I'm happy to disembark from any day now....</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> My mom came up to visit to help take care of my MiniLatte while her other Grandma goes on vacation. We had planned on her 'babysitting' for three of the five weekdays, being off on the Monday so she could recoup from the drive- trust me, it's a <em>drive</em>, and I knew Mini would put her through the ringer- in a good way of course. They had a fabulous time together, but Mom was exhausted; okay, so, I get that--- LOL. Mom just wasn't quite herself. By Friday, she thought that the <em>'bug'</em> that she was fighting had finally got the best of her and she was down for the count for four days. <span style="font-size: x-small;">(Although, we did manage to fit a mani/pedi into the weekend)</span> By Monday, I was really worried that this wasn't the average <em>bug</em> and told her that she was going to the clinic- even if it was kicking and screaming- tomorrow. And the clinic is where this horribly stressful past few weeks started to go downhill.....</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> The cute little nurse took her history, listened to her lungs, etc and called in the doctor.... the doctor listens to her chest for two seconds and orders an EKG; once he read the results, he quickly moved us into the trauma room and called 911 to get her to the ER. <em>Whaaaaat???</em> We just stared at each other trying to process what was going on; each one of us putting up a brave front.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">She was loaded up into the ambulance to a local ER (I being local, went to the wrong one) and was eventually diagnosed with something called <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atrial_fibrillation">A-fib</a>. Her resting heart rate was 177 BPM (normal range for her age is 90-123) in addition to a really high blood pressure. The hospital was having a difficult time trying to stabilize her so they admitted her for observation. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"> The next day, Wednesday, we went to visit her in the hospital and she was stable yet uncomfortable and begging to go home. Some time during the middle of the night she became very agitated, her blood pressure dropped, heart rate went right back up, so they gave her a CT scan for a further work-up. The contrast dye caused her system to crash; her kidneys, liver and spleen all lost function; additionally tests determined that her mitral valve and tricuspud valve were in need of repair. By Friday afternoon, she was on life support in the Cardiac ICU and her condition was incredibly grave. The cardiologist told us that the next 48 hours were going to be tough. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"> I was shocked and devastated; what the hell was happening? This was so sudden. It broke my heart to realize that I might lose my mom; it also pissed me off to no end because I thought the valve issue was something that might have been detected earlier if she would have had health insurance. I've not had the misfortune of losing someone close to me in my adult life and I wasn't prepared for that journey. I cannot even put into words my emotions. I don't think I've ever cried so hard or so long in my entire life. Or prayed and hoped so hard or long either.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"> Answering our prayers, on Sunday her kidneys were beginning to function again therefore narrowly avoiding dialysis. Liver and spleen started to function as well. Her body was healing well and by Tuesday (a week since arriving at the hospital), her breathing and feeding tubes were out and Mom was making us so proud and happy. And then she developed pneumonia.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"> By Saturday, she was intubated again due to the pneumonia; pulmonary edema and some recurrence of the A-fib. That was actually a blessing as they were able to finally perform a cardiac catheterization to see how badly her heart was damaged; we had to wait for her kidneys to function fully for the test to ensure she would crash again. The good news is that the cardiologists determined that she wouldn't need any bypass surgery, just the </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">aforementioned valve replacement/ repair.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> On Monday, she had developed a severe blood infection and her condition was once again critical. On Thursday, we received word that tests came back positive for H1N1. She did have a 'bug' after all, which might have been what triggered the A-fib. She also received a dose of a very powerful antibiotic called <span dir="auto">Vancomycin</span> which caused an allergic reaction resulting in a head to toe rash. She was intubated for the third time this past Saturday; the bad valve is causing pulmonary edema. The only thing that will help this is to have open heart surgery. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> As if that isn't some scary shit right there. I can't even imagine how she is feeling about that. I'm petrified; but I have faith that she will feel like a new woman when she recovers, whenever that may be. Today was the first day that I didn't leave the hospital with a huge knot in my stomach wondering what the night would hold for her. Tomorrow marks three weeks that she has been in the hospital; I've been at her bedside every day to will her to get better; to watch over her. My wonderful husband has been my rock; comforting me and drying my tears and picking up the slack around the house and with MiniLatte. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So has my Dad, Step-mom and in-laws. So many wonderful people have offered help, but I'm not sure what help to take them up on. We missed our wedding anniversary; we'll celebrate when we feel that there is much more to toast- I'm looking forward to celebrating with both her and my love; Mom was my Maid of Honor on that day 10 years ago.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"> </span>LatteLovinMommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11031550290566639479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148365957938280426.post-18781985613823575672012-01-25T18:30:00.000-08:002012-01-25T18:30:01.659-08:00Some Days I Dislike Being a Woman.....<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">...that would be about 10-12 days out of the month..... yep, almost 1/3 of the month I hate Mother Nature. For those same reasons I am blessed with a wonderful little girl (who I hope never has to suffer through PMS symptoms like I had as a teenager, nor those that are even more random now.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"> So if you haven't caught on yet, this post is going to be about my period. Probably falls under the TMI category, but since most of my faithful readers are women who might be able to relate or commiserate, I am simply <strike>whining</strike> venting. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"> I remember hearing at some point during my pregnancy that my monthly cycle was going to get easier after I had a baby- lucky for them I don't remember who the source of this large red lie came from otherwise I might have to hunt them down and whack them with a tampon <span style="font-size: x-small;">(unused)</span> because the were oh so wrong. It has not been easier- quite the opposite- and also unpredictable and unbearable. I was 'normal' perhaps for a month or two post-baby and since then I've had the joy of experiencing crazy ass symptoms ranging from sometimes bi-monthly cycles to debilitating headaches, fatigue, mood swings and more. Sounds a bit like pregnancy symptoms, right? Not. Just the 'luck' of the draw I guess. And I might be going out on a limb here, but I think that it all boils down to the main reason that we had fertility issues in the first place- my progesterone. I've talked to my OB/GYN and he says that losing weight and being on birth control will help and suggested an IUD. I clearly hear what you're saying Mr. Man but you don't understand.... when you have boobs and these hips, I'll feel like you're understanding me. <em>(Yes, I know, for the love of lattes, just <u>change</u> doctors... I really like Dr. V.... um, never noticed that correlation, ha ha.... I'm a bit on the sheepish side when it comes to speculum and paper gowns that trying out a new doc makes me cringe)</em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"> I read up on the IUD and even with a copper one, I think it will still whack my system out- and have you read all those side effects? I don't need anymore help retaining/ gaining weight or with my mood swings.... and the pill, well, finding one with a dose that doesn't make me look or eat like a stoned teenager or act like a psycho bitch would be good--- it's riding out the experimental period (no pun intended) that is difficult. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"> This last cycle was about the last straw- I was so incredibly emotional with a short (is there a word that describes shorter than short) fuse that it pushed me over the edge. Combine that with a precocious little toddler who didn't nap for two days and you can cue up the soundtrack from Psycho.... seriously, I had to lock myself in the bathroom and give myself a timeout- with a king size package of Reese's and a <strike>bottle</strike> glass of wine. At 11:30 a.m. (just kidding, the wine was an afterthought- I will be sure to put it in the emergency stash for next month) It was unreal and unfair. I have a great little girl, my uterus has served it's purpose and it can go away now. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"> And today my nose looks like Rudolph.... really? Hi, I'm fifteen. Cool, just one more little symptom that I can throw into my iPeriod app. Yep, there's an app for that- why not? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">So I'm game for some supplements or vitamins to help, but not anymore hormone based anything--- my family will probably start locking me in the garage for five days out of the month pretty soon. At least there's a fridge and wine in there.... </span>LatteLovinMommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11031550290566639479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148365957938280426.post-64393071046831421192012-01-21T16:12:00.000-08:002012-01-21T16:14:50.901-08:00Sham-WHAT?? Or... Coffee Talk with MiniLatte<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">It seems like many, many moons ago that MiniLatte finally said her first </span><a href="http://lattelovingmommy.blogspot.com/2010/08/fun-with-baby-kiera-food-style-and-her.html"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">word</span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">.... and it has been non-stop fun since <span style="font-size: x-small;">(<em>especially</em> that time in one of my fave stores when she clearly swore- {rhymes with pod bam-it} after dropping my sun glasses-- and yes, I did enjoy this week's Modern Family episode when Lilly dropped an F*bomb-- I can <strike>resemble</strike> relate....). </span><span style="font-size: small;">I've really enjoyed hearing her vocabularly blossom and often shake my head in disbelief- or wonderment--- I don't think I taught her that word....<em> not that word</em>--- just words... <strong>must</strong> be Dora. Seriously- she's only 2-1/2ish and can put full sentences together better than I can especially before my a.m. <strike>caffeine injection</strike> skinny latte. There's this one particular word that she says that makes me giggle like a teenager. Call me silly, but it's kinda funny:</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Okay, what's this? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Take a guess?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">No, it's not Buzz Wite-weer Soap.... it's shampoo<strong>P</strong>....... or maybe PampooP- either way, it makes me giggle. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">And let's not forget about the puter (laptop) or the washcar (carwash)--- or perhaps 4 a.m. conversations, for no reason at all:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>"Daddy's name is Jason</em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em></em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>This is my tinker bell baby- It's mine (baby= blanket)</em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>I'm not sleeping</em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>Hi mamma.</em> Gives me a hug</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>Daddy use this Dora baby</em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>It's not dark anymore-</em> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> <strong>no, honey, it is dark and you need to go back to sleep</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>Patting my arm....You're not wearing a dress.</em> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> <strong>No cuz its night night time.</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>You're not wearing a sweater.</em> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><strong> No I'm wearing my pjs</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>You have a pink shirt.... Eeyore (I'm wearing Eeyore pants)</em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>Where's Ariel she's not on the tv.... </em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em> </em><strong>No she's on the DVD player. </strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>Get it. </em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em> </em><strong>Ariel sleeps at 4 am.</strong><em> </em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>Wake her up</em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>Hi mamma. Another hug</em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>You got a pillow. Twelve-teen pillows... 1-2-3-4.....</em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>I want some milk.... </em></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">AntiLatte gives in and takes her downstairs because I had an early meeting... Walking down the hall. We're going downstairs so mommy can get some sleep since you're not going to sleeep... <em>Yep.... </em></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">And she proceeds to have her 4 am party.... I'm really tired but can't help but laugh at her randomness or the fact that she can put together a sentence without coffee... it's only because she's so damn cute that she gets away with it too!</span>LatteLovinMommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11031550290566639479noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148365957938280426.post-90309264884481878892012-01-03T23:32:00.000-08:002012-01-03T23:32:43.095-08:00Happy New Year!Where the freak did 2011 go? I mean seriously- where? I remember January- a trip to Disneyland; April, a trip to DisneyWorld; May- my first very own new car; August- MiniLatte's Bday; and then it's a blur. Time seems to be going by so quickly now that we have a kid. (And then there are those days where she really acts like a two year old that I WISH would go by as quickly!) I can't believe that it is 2012. It seems like not long ago when the world was freaking out about the impending doom that Y2K (remember??) would bring.... and here we are 12 years later. I actually ended the year quite memorably standing in as maid-of-honor as my mom got married. (I'm happy that she's happy!)<br />
I have such high hopes for 2012. Watching K grow more each day, learning like a little sponge and bringing even more joy than we already have to our everyday lives. Not that 2011 wasn't good- I can say that it was relatively drama-free; we were blessed with good health; have a home; have jobs, family and friends that we love- blessed and lucky to have what we do have. I'd by lying if I said that I wasn't secretly wishing to hit the lottery, but in the meantime, I'm going to enjoy what I do have right now which is a lot to be grateful for. I also have quite a few goals (resolutions(?)) but those are still a work in progress- and you know they typical- save money, make money, lose weight, eat better, exercise more, play more, work less, yadayada..... <br />
Mostly I just wanted to say Happy New Year- may '12 be the best yet! ( :<br />
LatteLovinMommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11031550290566639479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148365957938280426.post-15858611225420391582011-12-04T21:50:00.001-08:002011-12-04T22:09:05.246-08:0026.2 Again<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm exhasuted..... life has been a bell-to-bell sprint lately. I guess I should say when is it NOT? That's the life of a working Mommy who doesn't quite know when enough is enough. There is always something going on. And just when I think that I've got that balance mastered, there's another circus ball to juggle. Oh well. I'm good at juggling, it's an adventure. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And sprinting? The only literal kind that I've been doing lately is 2-1/2 blocks in Downtown today to watch some of the 8,000 crazy ass people cross the finish line at the California International Marathon. I had alterior motives- AntiLatte was running in his SIXTH marathon- the first since we've had MiniLatte (we were laughing about it last night that she could possible be his Finisher's Medal- lol). </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm in awe of all of those people that get up at the asscrack of dawn and lace up their shoes (some weren't wearing any!) and perservere to the end despite cold weather, leg cramps, shin splints and by sheer willpower complete 26.2 miles.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgocFG8Z95rOtfEEV7cAgVThm2xQd-PDJTT6IE-qFMVqVuSj1zJ7fvXJ8MQcNl4ANaYD0j0DOJLGbhCN1VSyyo7GHYV6p-9LfJ87NZq9yGGyPWfEnrFkzjAeGHrwMIWg-0j6_ll07GsW2p1/s1600/381421_313743098645570_100000296470779_1265419_351389493_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" dda="true" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgocFG8Z95rOtfEEV7cAgVThm2xQd-PDJTT6IE-qFMVqVuSj1zJ7fvXJ8MQcNl4ANaYD0j0DOJLGbhCN1VSyyo7GHYV6p-9LfJ87NZq9yGGyPWfEnrFkzjAeGHrwMIWg-0j6_ll07GsW2p1/s400/381421_313743098645570_100000296470779_1265419_351389493_n.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Some were running in honor of their loved ones or wonderful charities, some were running to meet a goal, some were running to run <em>more</em> (like qualify for Boston?!) and then <strong>my</strong> dear one, runs because he loves it- and he beat his personal best time. 26.2 short miles in just 3:45:09- funny, that's just a hair shorter than my labor (hmmm... maybe I <em>HAVE</em> already run a marathon- but there were some nice meds at the end of mine!). Good job babe. I'm really proud of you. (By the way, he's not the one in stripes.....)</span></div>LatteLovinMommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11031550290566639479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148365957938280426.post-6156960292889850842011-11-08T17:42:00.000-08:002011-11-08T17:43:04.750-08:00No, Mom, You CAN'T Put Up Your Christmas Tree Today....<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>... or subtitled, "Let the Freakin' Turkey Have His Day Too.."</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yes, this is an actual conversation that I had with my wonderful Mom this weekend. In all fairness I do have to say that the comment was directed to her very <em>Martha-like</em> boyfriend <span style="font-size: x-small;"><em>(but that's a story for another day),</em></span> yet I'm still shaking my head days later. I'm not bah-humbuging the holidays- I love decorating my house for the holidays, but the earliest that IMHO it should be permissible is mid-November at the earliest. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"> Seriously- there is at least a few more celebratory occasions between Day 'o Candy and Christmas that should at least be given a cursory nod before you put up the evergreen tree and toss some tinsel on it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"> I mean the holidays are overly commercialized as it is, but holy moly, to actually have Christmas stuff out in retail stores BEFORE Halloween is just a bit more than I can understand. Yes, really. I had to take MiniLatte to pick up some sparkles for her Tinker Bell costume and there right next to the giant light-up Jack 'o Lantern were <span style="color: #274e13;">CHRISTMAS</span> trees galore and a display blasting carols. On October 30th. <span style="color: #b45f06;">OCTOBER.</span> That's a full 56 days before Christmas. To say something nice about it, MiniLatte did exclaim, <em>"Christmas Tree!,"</em> so I can imagine that it's going to be a fun December. Emphasis on December.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"> I love, love, love Fall- the colors, the cozy fireside afternoons; baking cookies; pumpkin, vanilla, falling leaves, apples.... I like to celebrate <strong>those</strong> little things before I jump into full-swing Christmas. Maybe it's the fact that we've only had one week of Fall so far here <span style="font-size: x-small;"><em>(70 on Halloween, and then 50 the next day followed by the first storm- seriously, a late Fall)</em></span> and I'm a bit behind schedule. <u>(Um, yes, carved pumpkins done exactly one doorbell ring into the trick or treaters!)</u> or the fact that I was used to a delayed start on Christmas until after college finals. <span style="font-size: x-small;"><em>(It doesn't matter that excuse is losing merit so five years ago!)</em> <span style="font-size: small;">I just can't relate to Christmas preparations before Thanksgiving...</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"> It's like retail is setting the tone for letting us enjoy the holiday season and each store is trying to one-up the other with it's first Christmas sale. It just bugs me.... and don't get me started on Santa. Jolly Old Saint Nickolaus was already sitting court at the mall center court- and it was just November 6th. The mall was already decked out in it's holiday finery <span style="font-size: x-small;"><em>(they probably just had Pumpkins and spiders glued to it and ripped it off when the clock chimed midnight on Halloween...)</em> </span><span style="font-size: small;">Seriously... Santa... day after Halloween. It just doesn't seem right to me. But it's retail. Now, my mom?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"> She has managed to keep the Christmas elf from putting up the tree so far. It might be an argument for her in a week or so, but so far, so good. As for me, I'm digging out the Fall-ish themed decorations and will soon replace the red, white and blue. Just kidding- it's more like bunnies and eggs...</span>LatteLovinMommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11031550290566639479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148365957938280426.post-18489716418835202392011-10-03T13:59:00.000-07:002011-10-03T13:59:53.163-07:00Twinkle Widdle Star....<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It's obvious from the "last post" date that I'm more of a 'reader' than a writer.... well, I <em>love</em> to write, but it's been more like grocery lists and shit for work; not an insightful blog post fueled by caffeine. I have writer's envy of those that post regularly. My friend and blogstress extraordinaire Jen even has a <em>schedule</em> of daily post... girl, you are organized! And I'm feeling oh so guilty, so I thought that I would post a video to assuage my guilt. Crap, I couldn't even post my list of reasons why I'm grateful for <strong>Lattes</strong> on <a href="http://tv.ibtimes.com/national-coffee-day-2011-fun-coffee-facts-and-places-to-grab-a-free-cup/2057.html">National Coffee Lover's Day</a>.... (it's surely coming, perhaps on <a href="http://www.holidayinsights.com/moreholidays/November/deviledeggsday.htm">National Deviled Egg Day</a>....) and without further ado.... a too cute for words video of why I love, love, love being a mom:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">.... and I'm not sure how Snow White got in the middle of twinkle? As for the "take the buckle off"- I rescued the straps from a defunct booster seat and it's one of her favorite toys.... amongst the 1,023 others.</span>LatteLovinMommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11031550290566639479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148365957938280426.post-44372943085468023162011-07-26T18:21:00.000-07:002011-07-26T18:21:16.492-07:00A Blog Identity<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">LatteLovinMommy <em><span style="font-size: x-small;">(perhaps me?)</span></em> is suffering from a blog-dentity crisis. Unlike many of the blogs I peruse, I'm just a plain little Mommy-written blog without a specialty topic. I originally started this when I was pregnant and looking for a way to vent or share my experience without feeling like I was boring whomever I was talking to. I'm a Jill of Many Trades but not a master of anything specific- that's good and bad of course. I could take the time to try to become an expert, but why try and reinvent the wheel when there's so many other blogs out there to capture readers' attention? I'm just me- trying to be the best Mommy I can to my sweet girl while maintaining a certain level of sanity in all the other areas of my life that need attention- work, my business, being a wife, maintaining friendships, being a good steward of our home and money. I'm not a natural-living parent; I love my coupons and saving money, but I'm not about to spend an extra 25 hours on top of my already busy life honing a hobby that others blog so well about already; I'm crafty, but despite my wonderful shelves of raw materials, I can't say that I've broken out the Cricut or beads in a really, really long time, and although mildly funny, I'm not slated for a stand-up show of my own anytime in the near future and thankfully, we are blessed with a healthy family and I don't have to turn to my blog to deal with the pain of having a special needs or angel child. And of course, there's only one toddler- not multiples that make my head spin just thinking about!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"> So my point is kind of pointless- I want to have a wonderful blog for devoted followers <span style="font-size: x-small;">(all three of you)</span> to read, but I'm not sure where to go from here? Do you take the time to read worthy blogs about nothing in particular other than it's written by the caffeine-driven Mommy of a really cute almost-two-year-old? Is it okay to have a random, diverse blog? I still use this as an outlet and hobby and not a formal 'job;' I fear that it would be even more neglected (sniff, sniff) if I <em>had</em> to work on it and not <em>wanted</em> to. What draws you to a blog?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"> I'm going to keep plugging away at my randomness- the writing keeps my mind sharp and is somewhat of a creative outlet until I can actually start MiniLatte's newborn baby book..... </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Until Next Time,</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Carol</span>LatteLovinMommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11031550290566639479noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148365957938280426.post-90635898617534888852011-07-06T22:31:00.000-07:002011-07-06T22:32:18.957-07:00Things That Make You Go What the Hell???<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Years ago, it was the stories about little helpless animals being abused that used to get me, now, it's the stories about kids as well. When you're a mom, there's just <em>something</em> that helps you easily bond with other <em>Moms</em>- it's like a switch is flipped on and a common denominator of the little ones helps you to start a conversation or forge a relationship. It's also the same <em>'something'</em> that makes you shake your head and wonder what the hell a fellow mom was thinking. Don't get me wrong, I really try not to judge other people in normal everyday situations such as overhearing the toddler screaming "Damn it!" at the top of her lungs in Bath & Bodyworks.... <span style="font-size: x-small;">oh, wait- that was me</span>.... my take on <a href="http://lattelovingmommy.blogspot.com/2011/03/is-parenting-competitive-sport.html">competitive parenting</a> still stands; my thoughts are leaning towards moms who just blatantly put their children in harms way, or in this case the <a href="http://www.sacbee.com/2011/06/23/3721079/microwave.html?storylink=lingospot_related_articles">woman who is accused of killing her 7 week old daughter in the microwave</a> or me forming my own opinion surrounding the facts about Kaylee Anthony. <strong>WHAT. THE. HELL.</strong> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><em>Please note the use of me calling the first instance a woman instead of a mom is completely deliberate- it's challenging for me to group her in a category the same as myself and in the second case, I'd much rather place the emphasis on the angel-baby rather than than the selfish person who bore her.</em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><strong> </strong>In the case of the microwave story,<strong> </strong>this was one of the first times that I've ever had a queasy stomach while reading an article; and the thought of the poor baby girl just brings tears to my eyes. I know that in the sake of justice, she deserves a fair trial, and I'll grant her that <span style="font-size: x-small;">(at the cost of how much to taxpayers...)</span> but her actions are completely reprehensible. How can anyone do harm to their own children in such a horrible manner? I can't fathom it....</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"> I think back to when MiniLatte was that little and helpless. I was battling PPD but even during a bad moment, my first thought was always putting <strong><u>her</u></strong> safety and well-being first <span style="font-size: x-small;">(perhaps the Zoloft helped...)</span> and when I felt like I couldn't handle a certain Mommy-moment, I called in the cavalry. In retrospect, I may not be able to truly relate because she was such an easy-going little baby, but there were <em>those</em> times. <em>Those</em> times called for what we called our "Baby Spa," taking the bouncy seat in the bathroom and turning the shower on for the white noise and steam. It would usually calm her down, but I remember one particular day where I was also crying and thinking to myself if it <strong>was always going to be hard</strong>. At no time in the most trying of moments did I even come close to thinking that I wanted to harm my infant.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"> And Kaylee, oh dear. There is something completely wrong with that family <strong>period</strong>. Either they went to great lengths to <em>a)</em> cover-up an accidental drowning; or <em>b)</em> cover-up a murder by drowning -or- she just outright murdered her child to return to a party-girl life. What baffles me is that the father is culpable in some manner.... if it were my dad, he would have throttled me and then driven me to jail himself. My friends and family ask about MiniLatte daily, let alone to go 31 days without wondering about her whereabouts... hell, I passed up my annual conference this week for my direct sales business because it would be too hard to be away from her at this point.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana;"> And my tattoo would be one honoring my little girls name.... not <em>Bella Vita</em>. Life sure wouldn't be as sweet without my precious girl in it; and I certainly would have a hard time going on with my own life. Yet, she probably didn't have to fight biology to have Kaylee like we did MiniLatte, she also isn't deserving to have another child..... yes, I know I'm judging but it just breaks my heart---- we are supposed to protect the little ones! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"> Both of these former moms will have their day eventually. In the meantime, I'm going upstairs to hold my daughter and smother (sorry, perhaps out of context?) her with kisses.... and say a prayer for those little Angel-girls.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"> </span>LatteLovinMommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11031550290566639479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148365957938280426.post-2455610615722158292011-05-25T10:22:00.000-07:002011-05-25T10:22:54.016-07:00Just One<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSu7CHCLwyUbGBpzB_xSKKF2jO0XbESgkPhMwCrXUToW2qi11ojxrJOpiouUEpIhrYbVgmmnDX_yINt4ldA49wb36Na98SEKBaOGlVM_Ap7g5za0wvXD2iPPNFG90t6dINqaXFdText_ex/s1600/photo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSu7CHCLwyUbGBpzB_xSKKF2jO0XbESgkPhMwCrXUToW2qi11ojxrJOpiouUEpIhrYbVgmmnDX_yINt4ldA49wb36Na98SEKBaOGlVM_Ap7g5za0wvXD2iPPNFG90t6dINqaXFdText_ex/s320/photo.jpg" t8="true" width="238" /></a></div><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Uno. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Solo. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Only. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sole. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Lone. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">One. Child. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yes, only child. That's my daughter. That's also me.....</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> The burning question of the year is either <em>WHEN</em> or <em>ARE</em> you having another child. I'm not planning on it. Our daughter is wonderful, sweet, beautiful, kind, gentle, adorable and perfect. Although I'm sure that efforts may be duplicated, but <strike>we</strike> I'm quite happy with our little family of three. My husband would certainly like one more. I on the other hand, don't. It's actually quite a nosy and personal question; akin to asking someone why they stopped at just two? Unlike <em>Ruffles</em>, I <u>can</u> have just one and for me there are a multitude of reasons- physical, personal and financial to name a few. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> On the phsyical side: because I don't want to go through pregnancy and labor again. Yes, my pregnancy <em>was</em> nearly text-book despite the fact that <em>getting</em> there wasn't. And labor was shorter than half of an average work day, however, I enjoyed neither. It's a complete crap shoot to say whether a second pregnancy would be the same- or worse. I'm thinking that two years later and closer to the big four-oh increases the chances of problems all around. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> I also was not comfortable with a newborn <span style="font-size: x-small;">(and the newborn smell that everyone talks about is not the <em>same</em> one that I'm thinking of....).</span> The comfort level obviously grew on me as I was able to do some on-the-job training but again, not wanting to pile more sleepless nights on top of the ones that we already get. <span style="font-size: x-small;">(K slept so muchbetter a year ago than she does now- not quite sure why the return to 4 a.m. feedings?!)</span> And adding juggling the needs of a tiny newborn along with those of a very smart and active toddler in addition to a career and life just scares me. There are days that I feel stretched too thin as it is.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> I'm also not game for another two plus years of diapers. There is light at the end of this tunnel o' Huggies and I'm really looking forward to it. And speaking of Huggies- the expense of day-to-day care is something that we are really considering. According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture's <a href="http://www.cnpp.usda.gov/calculatorintro.htm">Child Rearing Calculator</a>, and discount the cost of shelter (we've been here years prior to her!) and daycare, it costs us roughly about $15,000 a year to raise little K. That reflects 2009 numbers- I think it's safe to say it might be inflated a bit higher today in 2011, while our salaries aren't. And believe me, I try to save money in as many areas as possible where it doesn't affect health or safety! The calculator says that having a second child would double that; but even on the low side, I would <em>guess</em>timate perhaps $22,500 for two children. Did I mention college? Even though hubby and I are proud owners of student loans (ha!), I do not want K to have to worry about that- we're stuffing as much 'extra' money into her college savings account (and our retirement funds as well) to plan for the future. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"> While larger families were very common to help with the division of labor years and year ago, the smaller family is becoming quite common when you consider metropolitan living and costs. Our family is normal! But </span><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I often hear the reaction that "you shouldn't do that to your child," when I answer the "Are you having another?" question. I shouldn't do <em>what</em>? I shouldn't provide her with as much love and devotion as possible? I shouldn't work hard to provide the best possible life for her and our family in the long run hopefully demonstrating a good life and work ethic? I get the 'sibling bond' argument, but I've seen that go either way-- while my two step-sisters are thick as theives; a good friend is absolutely <em>not</em> a fan of her brother. And as far as her being lonely, between her Daddy and I and all of her family members, she is not lonely. Additionally, she knows how to independently play and is developing quite the imagination! K plays well with others and knows how to share- something that <strong>we</strong> are teaching her, not her learning from a sibling.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"> If you are really curious as to why just K, I'm happy to tell you that I'd love to concentrate on creating and molding a selfless, talented, kind, gentle, creative, productive little girl; along with having a happy and relaxed Mommy and Daddy to raise her. But please don't make me have to debate with you why our choice is right for us...........</span>LatteLovinMommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11031550290566639479noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148365957938280426.post-59789119897072501212011-05-16T20:54:00.000-07:002011-05-16T20:56:37.874-07:00Date Night Makes Me Yearn for Balance<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAlAezccL1pOiIpXokNWvOdFbKuzEBe59PcEaA0cigd_Iy8eYqpNMmgPoW1DrhStGB1gBJS_qQ3e9PvESUlaqv0eP6rQCk11QhYZvAZKScLxAK7ltVhlVjDl7aEPzJWTgR-xEcfcdVCfsX/s1600/balance.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAlAezccL1pOiIpXokNWvOdFbKuzEBe59PcEaA0cigd_Iy8eYqpNMmgPoW1DrhStGB1gBJS_qQ3e9PvESUlaqv0eP6rQCk11QhYZvAZKScLxAK7ltVhlVjDl7aEPzJWTgR-xEcfcdVCfsX/s200/balance.jpg" width="154" /></a></div><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I had a date last night. With the refrigerator. Oh the joys of being a Mommy! Seriously, I felt like I was getting acquainted again with my kitchen today after spending the last month in between vacation, holiday and birthday celebrations, work and family outtings and just being plain too tired or busy. I would say that in the last six weeks, I've probably cooked a home-cooked meal not even a dozen times. Wow. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> Fortunately, as a dual-income family, we can eat out (um, IHOP, anyone?) and it doesn't completely kill our budget, but it also doesn't help it. It also doesn't help the diet even though I try to make healthy selections. What bothers me most is the amount of food that I just had to throw into the garbage from cleaning out the fridge. A bag <strong>full</strong>, and I'm talking trashcan size, not a grocery bag. I'm mad at having to throw money away for no reason other than lack of preparation..... so irritated. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> I really do try to meal plan, but then the best laid plans..... it takes a lot of time to be prepared, and I feel like that is seriously lacking right now. I'd much rather spend those four hours (if that) every evening with my daughter playing, reading or cuddling and not cooking or cleaning. Unfortunately, a maid is not in the budget and reality sets in. I have to find a better balance between all of the domestic things, the work stuff, parenting (like that ever stops) and having extra time to do other activities that I enjoy, or even fit some sleep into the equation. I'm envious of those moms that can balance all kinds of shit with one eye closed and on bedrest; or those that have multiples plus- how do they make it look so easy? By no means am I comparing myself- I'm just coveting perception! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> Fortunately for our household, I'm not in this alone as my wonderful husband puts in his fair share- especially with the laundry <span style="font-size: x-small;">(he runs out of underwear first!)</span> but I would really like to get a better grip on the things that I personally handle.... I have a few ideas in mind, so I'm going to do a little 'workstudy' over the next few weeks.... and I'll definately keep you posted, but in the meantime, </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm open to suggestions!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Love, Laughs and Caffeine,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Carol</span>LatteLovinMommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11031550290566639479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148365957938280426.post-43950383013530763962011-05-08T14:38:00.000-07:002011-05-08T22:29:17.459-07:00A Day Worth the Wait<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRTOp9I4UND1r17OC471LXhxoq9fsY4aT9WeAO87PqipKtmPFlUhL8PvdBQP-kNpkhe8sedmgH85sKxct7FUdBPTXmJdGmBWnUDWEzezqWVsk90hST6klp9vQO-ftto0V_YTdaWouSAK2X/s1600/100_3106.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRTOp9I4UND1r17OC471LXhxoq9fsY4aT9WeAO87PqipKtmPFlUhL8PvdBQP-kNpkhe8sedmgH85sKxct7FUdBPTXmJdGmBWnUDWEzezqWVsk90hST6klp9vQO-ftto0V_YTdaWouSAK2X/s320/100_3106.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Unlike most little girls my childhood wasn't spent playing with baby-dolls or planning a princess wedding. I was quite the Tom boy. I grew up an only child in a very, very <strike>small</strike> minuscule community in the Eastern Sierras ripe with lots of outdoorsy things to do. My two male cousins were my closest playmates and I could out-fish the both of them and my <em>pet</em> lizards were often bigger too! I ditched my first day of Kindergarten to go trout fishin' with great gran Hazel; you couldn't keep a pair of shoes on me to save my life and I even herded sheep once. It's pretty safe to say that other than dressing my faithful companion <em>Bootsie</em> up in a dress and wheeling him around in a stroller, I didn't particularly have a natural maternal streak. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> I'm sure that it wasn't a surprise to most of my close friends and family that I wasn't in a rush to become a mother. Someday, but it had to be with the right partner and not just for genetics sake- the <em>PARTNER</em> part of the equation was the kicker.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> Fast forward to my mid-20's when I began dating my husband and 'family talk.' Although he was definitely qualified as what I thought a partner would be, we agreed that a family was in our future just not the immediate one. It was important to have time just for 'us' prior to bringing a child into the relationship and enjoying life together first. And we did- and then building a family was taking more time than we had planned. I was longing to finally discover that materialistic instinct that I skipped over during childhood. I also started to resent <a href="http://lattelovingmommy.blogspot.com/2009/05/my-first-mothers-day-and-shopping-fun.html">Mother's Day</a> <span style="font-size: x-small;">(although I did try to compensate by celebrating with my beloved fur-baby and try to get away with not poop-scoopin' for the day... But those were the only presents she ever left for me! (How I miss that dog... Really. Really. Much.)</span> The same went for Baby Showers and all things miniature. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Not because I didn't want to be a mom but because getting to that point was so damn difficult. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> Friends and family were lucky to <em>'accidentally'</em> get pregnant but for us it was so much planning and waiting. Pure joy when we had a positive test only to find that joy usurped by disappointment weeks later with a miscarriage- four times over. Nearly <a href="http://lattelovingmommy.blogspot.com/2009/01/and-blog-is-born.html">four long years</a> later and after medical intervention and the hardest <a href="http://lattelovingmommy.blogspot.com/2009/08/birth-day.html">three hours and 56 minutes</a> of my life, I was finally a <strong><em><span style="color: purple;"><a href="http://lattelovingmommy.blogspot.com/2009/09/exactly-what-did-i-think-motherhood-was.html">Mom</a></span></em></strong>. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Today is my second official Mother's Day; I now get to enjoy the day with my family. I am so looking forward to celebrating all of the milestones and memories that I've been blessed with over the last 21 months. My life will undoubtedly never be the same- the dirty diapers, sleep deprivation, bottle washing, sippy cup retrieving, tear wiping and lullaby singing are all honorable tasks for my precious sweet daughter- and of course I wouldn't have it any other way. It was worth the wait......</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Happy Mother's Day Fellow Mombloggers- I appreciate you reading and sticking with me! </span><br />
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</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Love, Laughs and Caffeine,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Carol</span>LatteLovinMommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11031550290566639479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148365957938280426.post-15603106070051842062011-04-28T16:26:00.000-07:002011-04-28T16:26:26.581-07:00Complete mommy failure yesterday morning....<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> I had the occasional pre-work responsibility for Little Miss K- Mr. Anti-Latte usually leaves much earlier than I do and drops her off at Grandma's for the day. The routine works out well- he goes to work earlier than I do and is much more<strike> of a morning person</strike> efficient than I am in the a.m., especially if I've not had my caffeine! I was nearly ready to get K dressed and on our way and began hunting for a shoe mate and within 10 seconds of turning around, my little daredeviless had sprinted to the stairs... as soon as I realized it and could see her over the half-wall, I also saw her just starting to roll down the stairs. OMG. CRAP. Sh!t…. I hate it when this crap happens on my watch… but it’s easy to understand how. There’s just so many Mommy/ work/ wife things to do/ remember/…. Sometimes it’s amazing that I can even leave the house unscathed myself. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> In the rush of getting ready and trying to remember everything else that needed to be done in five minutes...I just wasn't thinking that the baby gate was down. The good thing about toddlers is that they are incredibly FLEXIBLE- the roll down 12 stairs was about as slow as an unwatchful mommy could hope for (perhaps my fall UP them a few days ago was more painful!?) and a box caught her at the bottom. I don't think I've ever descended those stairs as fast as trying to pick her up to console her and check for any injuries. Fortunately, the only injury was to her pride- not one little bruise or scratch and she even landed still grasping my necklace in her chubby little paw. (K is to necklaces is like squirrels to nuts). And she was distracted by Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on the television and the tears dried.... hers. I somehow maintained my composure- which I think probably resulted in a short lived cry on her part. I've learned quickly that many little ones base their reactions on that of their parents. A little scratch turns into a monumental booboo if the caretaker makes it a huge ordeal.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> K is a really good kid, but she definitely is super energetic and wants to investigate and try everything. Which means that you cannot take your eyes off of her for a second when she's running loose! And as you can see, I did. I'm relieved that she isn't any worse for the wear (maybe developing a measure of respect for the stairs) but this was a good reminder that I need to be overly cautious at all times. And as embarrassed as I am about this, when telling a few close friends they've had similar episodes happen with their healthy, thriving beautiful children of their own.... but I still feel horrible! I think I might assuage it with a <strike>bottle</strike> glass of wine and some Peep’s…..</span><span style="font-family: Arial;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: Arial;"></span>LatteLovinMommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11031550290566639479noreply@blogger.com2