This Mommy Runs on Caffeine

This Mommy Runs on Caffeine

December 31, 2009

Out With the Old... Buh Bye '09!

It’s December 31st, and with only a few hours left until we kick off the New Year, I have to say that 2009 was a very good year- despite a few down moments, it was mostly a wonderful year. And since 2010 marks a brand new decade (I know, I know- technically next year- but there’s no more “O’s” so it’s a new one!) , I also have to reminisce fondly upon the past 10 years and be thankful for all of the blessings in my life; mostly the sweet and adorable person peacefully sleeping next to me as I write this.

Ten years ago- 1999- was the beginning of my life as I now know it. After a sudden break-up with a boyfriend (coincidentally it was our one year anniversary and the same day that I had my wisdom teeth removed- how pleasant!), my step-mom had gently urged me to place an on-line dating ad. So, I did- without a photo. I wish I could remember what my ad said, but whatever it was, it elicited enough responses that took my BFF and I three entertaining hours to read (and delete!). One of those responses came from the moniker Snobrdn1 on 9/11/99 … “likes snowboarding… movies, PIZZA…jogging… loves children and considers family to be one of the most important things in life. Gainfully employed, a fellow student, loyal, good sense of humor, loves to laugh… lookin’ for a relationship and a best friend.” Hmm… interesting- fast forward to a few weeks and we actually met on 10/ 15. Unfortunately, the start to our relationship was rocky: I was working at a job that I hated… and was having some self-esteem problems- this contributed to me being unhappy with myself and not able to invest emotionally in the relationship. Jason stuck by me though and was my biggest cheerleader through job hunting, a brief illness and college graduation in 2000. We eventually moved in together in an apartment near my school and closer to his work in 2000.

2001 was a year to remember with happiness and great sadness: we got engaged; we bought our first house; Jason graduated from college; I lost my grandmother and grandfather on my mom’s side, and a cousin on my dad’s side within a few months of each other, I got laid off from my job shortly after; spent the summer on unemployment and finishing up a math class (so not math minded!) and found a new job. That was also the year of 9/11- and a terrible tragedy that will never be forgotten. I heard about it on the radio as I was on my way to work and called Jason to tell him to watch the news. The industry that I was working in was affected directly by it and I was laid off from yet another job…. and just when we thought our first Christmas in our new house was going to be pretty dismal, I started a great new job on December 18th (I’ve been there since!).

In 2002- March 23rd- we tied the knot and spent the following day at a Kings/ Lakers game (we have rival teams!), honeymooned in Vega$, bought a new (to us) car; Jason started a new job as a Systems Administrator…. it was a good year! The following years were spent getting into the grove of being a married couple, figuring out the extended family dynamics, becoming DIY home fixer-uppers (I found out I love painting!), watching friends come and go, traveling…. and we began trying to start our own family in 2004.

In 2005, we moved into our current house (around our wedding anniversary!), I started my Pampered Chef business- we were happy and busy. Work was going well for both of us and our relationship was definitely on solid ground, but that piece was missing. Unfortunately, we also experienced our first heartbreaking miscarriage and thus began the start of our infertility issues. It was even more so as we watched friends and family begin their own families. I became deniably and silently hostile towards those women lucky enough to have children, anti-baby shower…. It was hard but I only became aware of that several months ago as I look back. And each month that I had a visit from Aunt Flo I became bitterer and more frustrated. Our marriage held together even though I tried to emotionally withdrawn from the experience. The one positive aspect was that we could pick up and go on trips and little adventures whenever we wanted. I knew deep in my heart that Jason really wanted to experience these with a family of his own; I pretended that I didn’t care as it hurt my heart too much. The question on everyone’s mind, “When are you two going to have kids?,” was just too much…. We hadn’t really let anyone know that we were having problems conceiving and staying pregnant, and unfortunately the ‘trying’ part was starting to not be any fun either- it was just too much stress to deal with. Anyone who has had fertility problems will understand; and if you haven’t, be thankful for that.

I wish that I could point out some moments from 2005 through 2008 that were so wonderful that they overshadowed our problem. I can’t; we had fun and experienced a lot together but we wanted a baby. We started the process with our medical provider ten months before we got the results we wanted- it was a lot of classes, a lot of medical tests and medication, some humility but last year, we got our Christmas wish- on 12/27/2008, after two faulty pregnancy tests (mind you that we have spent a BUNCH of money on these!) the third one registered an answer- one that we were waiting for- two little lines. As exciting as it was, we had to wait three more weeks until our first ultrasound, and in January of this year, we got to see the strong little heartbeat of our child. It was amazing… but emotionally taxing to wait out the first trimester.

At 12 weeks- the odds of miscarriage drops significantly- we felt a bit more relief and finally delivered the news to our families. Each four weeks marked a new milestone and we became more excited over the prospect of FINALLY having our child. Fortunately, the pregnancy itself was uneventful, and when we found out on April 4th that we were having a girl, I was over the moon! So fast forward to August, and out pops little Kiera- and what a miracle and life changing event it has been. Our relationship has been tested through all of this and now we are rewarded and so much stronger for it- that is the silver lining that I can take out of the fertility experience. I also now have the gift of that experience and can be a shoulder to lean on for a very dear friend who is also going through the same thing right now… I would never understand the heartbreak had I not have gone through it myself. We also very much cherish every single moment that we have with Baby Kiera- she was worth the wait.

2009 marks the year that I had the best day of my life- August 18th to be exact. I am, though, looking forward to everything that the next year has in store for our family. We all have our health; we have jobs; despite the sharp drop in our equity, we have a home that we can afford and that finally does feel like home; we have food in our fridge and shoes on our feet; we get to share good times with great friends and family… we are blessed with what we need, and can even manage to afford what ‘want.’ It is a lot to be thankful for and to look forward to! Happy New Year Everyone…..

December 30, 2009

Wordless Wednesday- "KIERAsmas Present- Baby's First Christmas"

Terrific Tuesday 12/29

If I only end up blogging on Tuesdays next year, at least there will be 52 regular posts- however, there will also be many milestones that Kiera will pass in the upcoming year so, that will add on another 12 or so.... phew, that makes me tired just thinking about it!  ( :

It's been a very loooooong week filled with ups and downs and everything else that holidays usually bring on; and I survived to blog about it yet another day.  I had high, high hopes about doing a Christmas day post about how Merry and Wonderul it is and to have a great day, but it was hectic enough without adding one more thing to the list!

On to another list: Terrific Tuesday
1) Baby Giggles:  is there not anything sweeter than hearing a small child laugh because of sheer joy?  We got to hear Kiera really giggle for the first time on Christmas Morning- talk about a great present!  *sniff, sniff*  She's been laughing for a while, but mostly just a little "heh, heh," and not one of those ear-to-ear belly laughs.  Don't know what it is about that fuzzy, wuzzy changing pad that she so loves!
2) Gift Cards:  So I'm not one of those that thinks that gift cards are the "easy way" to give gifts- I love them!  This coming from someone who had to do baby shower gift returns... gift cards are great, especially for post-holiday shopping at great sales; they don't require a gift reciept and better than cash, they can't be spent on bills.  If they are to a store that you know that the recipient actually shops at and loves, then more power to the giver.  (Trust me, I was thanking my dad and dear hubby when I only had to spend less than $10 out of pocket for a $80+ transaction at Bath & Body Works semi-annual sale on Sunday!)
3) Pedicures: when you're having a stressful week, there's nothing like a pedi/ mani with little sparkly designs, especially when you get to do so with a girlfriend or, in this case, your mom.  Even better?  Mom footed (ha, ha) the bill!
4) Vacation Days:  God bless paid vacation days!   Better yet- are paid vacation days in conjunction with paid holidays.... more quality time to spend with my wonderful little girl!
5) Fuzzy Socks:  No, I'm not lacking for something terrific- I think that there is something so cozy about slipping on a pair of soft-as-can-be socks after a long day!  That's why my drawer is overflowing with them (oh, honey don't get me started on the pajamas....)

and 5a) Holy increased blog traffic batman- I'm so excited about more traffic on here- thank you for taking the time out of your busy day to peer in our life. I hope that you'll come back soon!  ( :

December 22, 2009

It's Terrific Tuesday!

I really, really need to make "blogging- regularly, religiously" part of my 2010 resolution....  I guess I just have to get over the thought that each post has to be something completely thought provoking or profound.  I mean, the title does say RANDOM, right???  I can't tell you how many posts that I have that are half written and never make it up because they aren't deep enough.... whatever..... do you know how many blogs I keep returning to because they are entertaining and not just philosphical???  (Okay, Socrates....)
So, in early preparation for the resolution: Terrific Tuesday is going to be something that I'm thankful for/ is totally cute (um, what's NOT cute about Kiera!!!)/ helpful to other people (do other people other than Jason, Kindle and Jennifer actually read this??? I would hope so! HA!) or I just really need to share:

So, here goes my first Terrific Tuesday post:
1) (Formerly) Pregnant Chick's Mommy is on the way over here for Christmas!  YAY!  Please, please white, fluffy snow let her over the pass....
2) I'm almost done decorating for Christmas (um, yeah, that's another entirely different post!)- just have to get some candles to set out and "wrap" the picture frames!
3) I've found regular daycare for Kiera- it's a stay-at-home-mom friend of mine and Jason and I are both so thrilled.  She could use the money, we want someone awesome watching Kiera on the non-Daddy days and if you can't trust another mom, then whom??? She comes highly recommended by another friend who used her for her first baby.  YAY!
4) Kiera is religiously sleeping through the night now!  BIG YAY- that's if she gets her last bottle around 11ish... thank you patron saint of 6+ consecutive hours of sleep!
and 5) How can your day NOT be perfect when this is what you get to come home to???:

December 10, 2009

I Stole From Target and Safeway

That one caught your attention! I didn’t really steal- just feel like I did after scoring some really awesome deals using coupons and ‘secret’ in-store sales. Just a warning: if you see me in the checkout line ahead of you at a grocery store or one of the box stores, you may want to change lines because I am one of "those" people- I use coupons!! Do you know that only 1% of America uses coupons? I don’t know if there is a stigma attached to being a ‘coupon-clipper’ but at this point, I really don’t care- I saved $36 at Target last night and nearly $25 at Safeway the night before that. Hmm…. What should we do with that $61???

My new role of “Mom” has also relegated me to be a frugalista. Not that I haven’t always loved a good deal- I try to never pay full price for anything- it just seems that my newest hobby is coupon clipping and I love the challenge of finding a good deal.