This Mommy Runs on Caffeine

This Mommy Runs on Caffeine

August 18, 2013

To My Heart on your Fourth Birthday

I remember the day that I found out that we were going to have you like it was yesterday; and the day that you were born was the very best day of my life hands down. Your Daddy and I tried for nearly five years to have you- it was not an easy road to travel, but oh so worth it since you were the end result. I can’t even begin to tell you how you have changed my life and it is all for the better.  Being a Mom makes me want to be a better person and being YOUR Mom is the most fulfilling and rewarding job ever. I wake up to your precious smiling face and thank God for you. I can't ever put into words how much you mean to us.  But please know that it is A LOT when serving you your milk in your favorite princess sippy trumps pressing the brew button on the Keurig.

The past year has held quite a few challenges but so many wonderful moments and memories with you outshine the bad.  You make a great day amazing and a bad day better, especially when you wrap your little arms around my neck and tell me that you missed me.  How blessed am I?

Although a healthy growing girl, we've still had our share of doctors visits this year- I wish to not repeat them, especially not your spinal tap when you had a weird virus. Worst Mom moment so far- but you were charming and brave and only cried a bit and had the ENTIRE staff trying to hunt you down princess stickers after the procedure. You may not have any idea that you can have perfect strangers eating out of the palm of your hand, but after watching you blossom, I completely understand.  Might I add that you are an amazing dose of medicine- both Daddy and I ended up in the hospital at different times and you were the bright spot that helped us feel better.  How so much empathy can come out of a little person is beyond me.  You tell us not to be sad when you see us cry and to be brave when you think something is going to hurt us and although we know it to be, hearing your angelic little voice saying those things is simultaneously heart wrenching and comforting.  You are so amazingly smart and resilient, flexible and easy going and empathetic and a light to any darkness. 

You started PreK (and Vacation Bible School) this year and are well on your way to being Valedictorian and Homecoming Queen, I’m sure. You waltz into the place like you own it (with the tuition we pay, we should….) and I love to hear about your day when I pick you up. The things that you learn (both good and bad) are impressive. I know I am biased but how can I not be proud of you when you point out an octagon or write your name (you’re a lefty, by the way- you can thank your BopPop and Grandma Helen for that) in better handwriting than Daddy.  Your teacher’s name is Ms. Miriam and she too has fallen in love with you.  I really can’t blame her.

You will find out one day that a Mommy loves her child unconditionally but you my dear, are something special.  You almost glow.  You are amazing but not perfect, and you shouldn't be- make mistakes, its how we learn and grow- but please, please,please stay out of my nail polish; play dough goes back into the container with lids ON (ask me some day how you convinced your Grandma K to eat it like a cookie) and stickers and permanent marker is meant for paper and only paper. (Stickers have shown up mysteriously in some crazy places…. Must be the dogs)

I’m not the perfect mom but will be the BEST mom that I can be to you and help guide you in the BEST life that we can provide for you. I will make mistakes, and I will lose my patience and even growl at you when I know that I shouldn't and I will always remind you that I do love you and apologize when I am truly in the wrong. Never be afraid to say you’re sorry and really mean it.  Don’t ever be afraid to give an honest compliment (and continue to give them with reckless abandon like you already do- you probably really made the lady in the grocery store with the pretty dress’ day) and don’t be afraid to love and tell someone you love them.  Tell your best girl friends, your boyfriend (gasp, but I know its coming- you will be a heart breaker), your dog and cat and your family.  Love is free and freeing.  Love also hurts, but it teaches us to be better, stronger and to even love harder.

I hope your passion never fades. Today it is for your Princess collection (of all sizes, materials and conditions (please forgive the dogs for altering Aurora’s dress) pizza and girly-girl dresses, someday it will be shoes and purses (Your dad will roll his eyes and complain when you own 30 pairs of flip flops but it will be out of love- just trust me on this one.) But if you happen to find a zest for something that is completely off the wall- so be it- just make sure that your favorite ‘things’ are yours and not something that you are trying to do or like to impress someone. (As much as I love your Daddy, I will never be a Laker fan, but he knew that going in…. in fact we spent our first day of wedded bliss at a basketball game of both of our favorite teams…. That was over 11 years ago) Your hobbies, likes and dislikes will make you interesting and uniquely YOU.

Speaking of fervor and zest, you've been planning your birthday party since the day after you turned three- it will be your dream Ariel the Mermaid party although scaled down a bit. You get the love of entertaining from me (I’m Sorry and You’re Welcome)- just remember to always be a gracious host and take time away from making the food and cleaning up the mess to enjoy the moment with the people that are there- you never know when they won’t be.  I hope the memories of your fourth birthday will be wonderful. I’m going to fill up your playroom with balloons and decorate the house even though your party isn’t until next week (and not even here, might I add)- balloons in your room will be our birthday tradition.  I am even going to see if Avery the Elf can make a visit from the North Pole to pop in and say hello.

Thank you for making the last 1,461 days the best in my life- I look forward to experiencing the memories that Year Four has in store for us.  We love you so very much Baby Girl.  Happy Birthday.

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