No, Mom, You CAN'T Put Up Your Christmas Tree Today....

... or subtitled, "Let the Freakin' Turkey Have His Day Too.."
Yes, this is an actual conversation that I had with my wonderful Mom this weekend. In all fairness I do have to say that the comment was directed to her very Martha-like boyfriend (but that's a story for another day), yet I'm still shaking my head days later. I'm not bah-humbuging the holidays- I love decorating my house for the holidays, but the earliest that IMHO it should be permissible is mid-November at the earliest.
    Seriously- there is at least a few more celebratory occasions between Day 'o Candy and Christmas that should at least be given a cursory nod before you put up the evergreen tree and toss some tinsel on it.
    I mean the holidays are overly commercialized as it is, but holy moly, to actually have Christmas stuff out in retail stores BEFORE Halloween is just a bit more than I can understand. Yes, really.  I had to take MiniLatte to pick up some sparkles for her Tinker Bell costume and there right next to the giant light-up Jack 'o Lantern were CHRISTMAS trees galore and a display blasting carols. On October 30th. OCTOBER. That's a full 56 days before Christmas. To say something nice about it, MiniLatte did exclaim, "Christmas Tree!," so I can imagine that it's going to be a fun December. Emphasis on December.
    I love, love, love Fall- the colors, the cozy fireside afternoons; baking cookies; pumpkin, vanilla, falling leaves, apples.... I like to celebrate those little things before I jump into full-swing Christmas. Maybe it's the fact that we've only had one week of Fall so far here (70 on Halloween, and then 50 the next day followed by the first storm- seriously, a late Fall) and I'm a bit behind schedule. (Um, yes, carved pumpkins done exactly one doorbell ring into the trick or treaters!) or the fact that I was used to a delayed start on Christmas until after college finals. (It doesn't matter that excuse is losing merit so five years ago!)  I just can't relate to Christmas preparations before Thanksgiving...
    It's like retail is setting the tone for letting us enjoy the holiday season and each store is trying to one-up the other with it's first Christmas sale. It just bugs me.... and don't get me started on Santa. Jolly Old Saint Nickolaus was already sitting court at the mall center court- and it was just November 6th. The mall was already decked out in it's holiday finery (they probably just had Pumpkins and spiders glued to it and ripped it off when the clock chimed midnight on Halloween...) Seriously... Santa... day after Halloween. It just doesn't seem right to me. But it's retail. Now, my mom?
    She has managed to keep the Christmas elf from putting up the tree so far. It might be an argument for her in a week or so, but so far, so good. As for me, I'm digging out the Fall-ish themed decorations and will soon replace the red, white and blue. Just kidding- it's more like bunnies and eggs...

Twinkle Widdle Star....

It's obvious from the "last post" date that I'm more of a 'reader' than a writer.... well, I love to write, but it's been more like grocery lists and shit for work;  not an insightful blog post fueled by caffeine. I have writer's envy of those that post regularly. My friend and blogstress extraordinaire Jen even has a schedule of daily post... girl, you are organized! And I'm feeling oh so guilty, so I thought that I would post a video to assuage my guilt.  Crap, I couldn't even post my list of reasons why I'm grateful for Lattes on National Coffee Lover's Day.... (it's surely coming, perhaps on National Deviled Egg Day....) and without further ado.... a too cute for words video of why I love, love, love being a mom:



.... and I'm not sure how Snow White got in the middle of twinkle? As for the "take the buckle off"- I rescued the straps from a defunct booster seat and it's one of her favorite toys.... amongst the 1,023 others.

A Blog Identity

LatteLovinMommy (perhaps me?) is suffering from a blog-dentity crisis. Unlike many of the blogs I peruse, I'm just a plain little Mommy-written blog without a specialty topic. I originally started this when I was pregnant and looking for a way to vent or share my experience without feeling like I was boring whomever I was talking to.  I'm a Jill of Many Trades but not a master of anything specific- that's good and bad of course. I could take the time to try to become an expert, but why try and reinvent the wheel when there's so many other blogs out there to capture readers' attention? I'm just me- trying to be the best Mommy I can to my sweet girl while maintaining a certain level of sanity in all the other areas of my life that need attention- work, my business, being a wife, maintaining friendships, being a good steward of our home and money. I'm not a natural-living parent; I love my coupons and saving money, but I'm not about to spend an extra 25 hours on top of my already busy life honing a hobby that others blog so well about already; I'm crafty, but despite my wonderful shelves of raw materials, I can't say that I've broken out the Cricut or beads in a really, really long time, and although mildly funny, I'm not slated for a stand-up show of my own anytime in the near future and thankfully, we are blessed with a healthy family and I don't have to turn to my blog to deal with the pain of having a special needs or angel child. And of course, there's only one toddler- not multiples that make my head spin just thinking about!
    So my point is kind of pointless- I want to have a wonderful blog for devoted followers (all three of you) to read, but I'm not sure where to go from here? Do you take the time to read worthy blogs about nothing in particular other than it's written by the caffeine-driven Mommy of a really cute almost-two-year-old? Is it okay to have a random, diverse blog? I still use this as an outlet and hobby and not a formal 'job;' I fear that it would be even more neglected (sniff, sniff) if I had to work on it and not wanted to. What draws you to a blog?
     I'm going to keep plugging away at my randomness- the writing keeps my mind sharp and is somewhat of a creative outlet until I can actually start MiniLatte's newborn baby book.....
Until Next Time,

Carol

Things That Make You Go What the Hell???

Years ago, it was the stories about little helpless animals being abused that used to get me, now, it's the stories about kids as well. When you're a mom, there's just something that helps you easily bond with other Moms- it's like a switch is flipped on and a common denominator of the little ones helps you to start a conversation or forge a relationship. It's also the same 'something' that makes you shake your head and wonder what the hell a fellow mom was thinking. Don't get me wrong, I really try not to judge other people in normal everyday situations such as overhearing the toddler screaming "Damn it!" at the top of her lungs in Bath & Bodyworks.... oh, wait- that was me.... my take on competitive parenting still stands; my thoughts are leaning towards moms who just blatantly put their children in harms way, or in this case the woman who is accused of killing her 7 week old daughter in the microwave or me forming my own opinion surrounding the facts about Kaylee Anthony. WHAT. THE. HELL. 
Please note the use of me calling the first instance a woman instead of a mom is completely deliberate- it's challenging for me to group her in a category the same as myself and in the second case, I'd much rather place the emphasis on the angel-baby rather than than the selfish person who bore her.
    In the case of the microwave story, this was one of the first times that I've ever had a queasy stomach while reading an article; and the thought of the poor baby girl just brings tears to my eyes. I know that in the sake of justice, she deserves a fair trial, and I'll grant her that (at the cost of how much to taxpayers...) but her actions are completely reprehensible. How can anyone do harm to their own children in such a horrible manner? I can't fathom it....
   I think back to when MiniLatte was that little and helpless. I was battling PPD but even during a bad moment, my first thought was always putting her safety and well-being first (perhaps the Zoloft helped...) and when I felt like I couldn't handle a certain Mommy-moment, I called in the cavalry. In retrospect, I may not be able to truly relate because she was such an easy-going little baby, but there were those times. Those times called for what we called our "Baby Spa," taking the bouncy seat in the bathroom and turning the shower on for the white noise and steam. It would usually calm her down, but I remember one particular day where I was also crying and thinking to myself if it was always going to be hard. At no time in the most trying of moments did I even come close to thinking that I wanted to harm my infant.
   And Kaylee, oh dear. There is something completely wrong with that family period. Either they went to great lengths to a) cover-up an accidental drowning; or b) cover-up a murder by drowning -or- she just outright murdered her child to return to a party-girl life. What baffles me is that the father is culpable in some manner.... if it were my dad, he would have throttled me and then driven me to jail himself. My friends and family ask about MiniLatte daily, let alone to go 31 days without wondering about her whereabouts... hell, I passed up my annual conference this week for my direct sales business because it would be too hard to be away from her at this point.  And my tattoo would be one honoring my little girls name.... not Bella Vita. Life sure wouldn't be as sweet without my precious girl in it; and I certainly would have a hard time going on with my own life. Yet, she probably didn't have to fight biology to have Kaylee like we did MiniLatte, she also isn't deserving to have another child..... yes, I know I'm judging but it just breaks my heart---- we are supposed to protect the little ones!
   Both of these former moms will have their day eventually. In the meantime, I'm going upstairs to hold my daughter and smother (sorry, perhaps out of context?) her with kisses.... and say a prayer for those little Angel-girls.
 

Just One

Uno.
Solo.
Only.
Sole.
Lone.
One. Child.
Yes, only child. That's my daughter. That's also me.....

      The burning question of the year is either WHEN or ARE you having another child. I'm not planning on it. Our daughter is wonderful, sweet, beautiful, kind, gentle, adorable and perfect. Although I'm sure that efforts may be duplicated, but we I'm quite happy with our little family of three. My husband would certainly like one more. I on the other hand, don't. It's actually quite a nosy and personal question; akin to asking someone why they stopped at just two? Unlike Ruffles, I can have just one and for me there are a multitude of reasons- physical, personal and financial to name a few.
      On the phsyical side: because I don't want to go through pregnancy and labor again. Yes, my pregnancy was nearly text-book despite the fact that getting there wasn't. And labor was shorter than half of an average work day, however, I enjoyed neither. It's a complete crap shoot to say whether a second pregnancy would be the same- or worse. I'm thinking that two years later and closer to the big four-oh increases the chances of problems all around.
      I also was not comfortable with a newborn (and the newborn smell that everyone talks about is not the same one that I'm thinking of....). The comfort level obviously grew on me as I was able to do some on-the-job training but again, not wanting to pile more sleepless nights on top of the ones that we already get. (K slept so muchbetter a year ago than she does now- not quite sure why the return to 4 a.m. feedings?!)  And adding juggling the needs of a tiny newborn along with those of a very smart and active toddler in addition to a career and life just scares me. There are days that I feel stretched too thin as it is.
      I'm also not game for another two plus years of diapers. There is light at the end of this tunnel o' Huggies and I'm really looking forward to it. And speaking of Huggies- the expense of day-to-day care is something that we are really considering. According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture's Child Rearing Calculator, and discount the cost of shelter (we've been here years prior to her!) and daycare, it costs us roughly about $15,000 a year to raise little K. That reflects 2009 numbers- I think it's safe to say it might be inflated a bit higher today in 2011, while our salaries aren't. And believe me, I try to save money in as many areas as possible where it doesn't affect health or safety! The calculator says that having a second child would double that; but even on the low side, I would guesstimate perhaps $22,500 for two children. Did I mention college? Even though hubby and I are proud owners of student loans (ha!), I do not want K to have to worry about that- we're stuffing as much 'extra' money into her college savings account (and our retirement funds as well) to plan for the future. 
     While larger families were very common to help with the division of labor years and year ago, the smaller family is becoming quite common when you consider metropolitan living and costs. Our family is normal! But I often hear the reaction that "you shouldn't do that to your child," when I answer the "Are you having another?" question. I shouldn't do what? I shouldn't provide her with as much love and devotion as possible? I shouldn't work hard to provide the best possible life for her and our family in the long run hopefully demonstrating a good life and work ethic? I get the 'sibling bond' argument, but I've seen that go either way-- while my two step-sisters are thick as theives;  a good friend is absolutely not a fan of her brother. And as far as her being lonely, between her Daddy and I and all of her family members, she is not lonely. Additionally, she knows how to independently play and is developing quite the imagination! K plays well with others and knows how to share- something that we are teaching her, not her learning from a sibling.
      If you are really curious as to why just K, I'm happy to tell you that I'd love to concentrate on creating and molding a selfless, talented, kind, gentle, creative, productive little girl; along with having a happy and relaxed Mommy and Daddy to raise her. But please don't make me have to debate with you why our choice is right for us...........