I started thinking about my friends that I hang out on a regular basis and came to the conclusion that I don't. Hang out that is, I have lots of friends, but for various reasons. "Hanging out" is just much harder to do when you add motherhood to the other obligations in your life.
I have 'work' friends. I have longtime friends- near and far- that I can call on anytime day or night to vent, bitch to, complain and can count on in a pinch. And then I have friends who came into my life because I have Little Miss K. I've met them through my local consignment sales that I volunteer for- wouldn't have met them if I was kid-less; same goes with the mom's group that I used to belong to. I have a handful of friends from high school and college, some from my direct sales business and some from random places that we met and struck up a conversation.
The point is that I shared something in common with each friend at the certain time that we met and fostered a friendship. It may or may not have been because of children, but because of school, work, a hobby or..... whatever. There was a common denominator in the relationship. Am I still friends with everyone that I've ever met? Not so much, but not because I have kids. They may or may not, but we've lost touch for a host of random reasons- but I can't think of one friendship that has faded because I have a child. I can however, think of the many more that I have made because of my child.
At this point in my life I prefer to have low maintenance friends- I've always tried to avoid drama, but even more so now that I don't want to involve Little K in said drama. I also don't have time for bullshit. I also may not have time to talk to you for weeks on end, but that doesn't mean I don't adore you. I work full time, I'm a business owner, I enjoy a small number of
Now will I befriend you if you are kid-less? Maybe, maybe not. I'm not judging you but I think it will just be harder for you to understand what my life is like and I, in turn, will always think- 'just wait!' If we have enough in common outside of K, we'll probably be fast friends. I made the decision to have K, and she is my life- friends or no friends. It's a package deal now, and most activities will be centered around her unless it's a very rare Mommy night out... hopefully! Happy Friday!