This Mommy Runs on Caffeine

This Mommy Runs on Caffeine

March 18, 2011

Friends: With Kids/ Without Kids- Random Thoughts

While driving into work this morning, I experienced one of those rare occasions where I listened to 'regular radio' as opposed to my XM (love it!) and the morning people from one of the local stations were discussing friends. Particularly having friends of the opposite familial status (childless with parental friends and vice versa) and why it is so difficult to maintain relationships and hang out with them. The discussion got me thinking- even though I turned off the station after they interrupted the debate with a stupid song by Kesha. She bugs me. But I digress....
    I started thinking about my friends that I hang out on a regular basis and came to the conclusion that I don't. Hang out that is, I have lots of friends, but for various reasons. "Hanging out" is just much harder to do when you add motherhood to the other obligations in your life.
    I have 'work' friends. I have longtime friends- near and far- that I can call on anytime day or night to vent, bitch to, complain and can count on in a pinch. And then I have friends who came into my life because I have Little Miss K. I've met them through my local consignment sales that I volunteer for- wouldn't have met them if I was kid-less; same goes with the mom's group that I used to belong to. I have a handful of friends from high school and college, some from my direct sales business and some from random places that we met and struck up a conversation.
    The point is that I shared something in common with each friend at the certain time that we met and fostered a friendship. It may or may not have been because of children, but because of school, work, a hobby or..... whatever.  There was a common denominator in the relationship.  Am I still friends with everyone that I've ever met? Not so much, but not because I have kids. They may or may not, but we've lost touch for a host of random reasons- but I can't think of one friendship that has faded because I have a child. I can however, think of the many more that I have made because of my child.
    At this point in my life I prefer to have low maintenance friends- I've always tried to avoid drama, but even more so now that I don't want to involve Little K in said drama. I also don't have time for bullshit. I also may not have time to talk to you for weeks on end, but that doesn't mean I don't adore you. I work full time, I'm a business owner, I enjoy a small number of hobbies, I'm a wife, I'm a... you get the picture? It's hard enough to find time to have dinner with my dad, get a mani/pedi or to even just sleep, so to go out clubbin' with single, childless friends is just at the bottom of my list. Not the person, but the activity. If you want to come over and have something that resembles dinner with my family, c'mon over we're happy to have you and I may even serve you an overpriced drink in the process (cover charge will be waived).
     Now will I befriend you if you are kid-less? Maybe, maybe not. I'm not judging you but I think it will just be harder for you to understand what my life is like and I, in turn, will always think- 'just wait!' If we have enough in common outside of K, we'll probably be fast friends.  I made the decision to have K, and she is my life- friends or no friends. It's a package deal now, and most activities will be centered around her unless it's a very rare Mommy night out... hopefully! Happy Friday!

1 comment:

  1. Very well said! Some people can handle 'mixed' friendships and others just can't. Bummer for them. :o)

    Following you back via MBC~

    Lisa @All That and a Box of Rocks


I love comments!