Friends: With Kids/ Without Kids- Random Thoughts

While driving into work this morning, I experienced one of those rare occasions where I listened to 'regular radio' as opposed to my XM (love it!) and the morning people from one of the local stations were discussing friends. Particularly having friends of the opposite familial status (childless with parental friends and vice versa) and why it is so difficult to maintain relationships and hang out with them. The discussion got me thinking- even though I turned off the station after they interrupted the debate with a stupid song by Kesha. She bugs me. But I digress....
    I started thinking about my friends that I hang out on a regular basis and came to the conclusion that I don't. Hang out that is, I have lots of friends, but for various reasons. "Hanging out" is just much harder to do when you add motherhood to the other obligations in your life.
    I have 'work' friends. I have longtime friends- near and far- that I can call on anytime day or night to vent, bitch to, complain and can count on in a pinch. And then I have friends who came into my life because I have Little Miss K. I've met them through my local consignment sales that I volunteer for- wouldn't have met them if I was kid-less; same goes with the mom's group that I used to belong to. I have a handful of friends from high school and college, some from my direct sales business and some from random places that we met and struck up a conversation.
    The point is that I shared something in common with each friend at the certain time that we met and fostered a friendship. It may or may not have been because of children, but because of school, work, a hobby or..... whatever.  There was a common denominator in the relationship.  Am I still friends with everyone that I've ever met? Not so much, but not because I have kids. They may or may not, but we've lost touch for a host of random reasons- but I can't think of one friendship that has faded because I have a child. I can however, think of the many more that I have made because of my child.
    At this point in my life I prefer to have low maintenance friends- I've always tried to avoid drama, but even more so now that I don't want to involve Little K in said drama. I also don't have time for bullshit. I also may not have time to talk to you for weeks on end, but that doesn't mean I don't adore you. I work full time, I'm a business owner, I enjoy a small number of hobbies, I'm a wife, I'm a... you get the picture? It's hard enough to find time to have dinner with my dad, get a mani/pedi or to even just sleep, so to go out clubbin' with single, childless friends is just at the bottom of my list. Not the person, but the activity. If you want to come over and have something that resembles dinner with my family, c'mon over we're happy to have you and I may even serve you an overpriced drink in the process (cover charge will be waived).
     Now will I befriend you if you are kid-less? Maybe, maybe not. I'm not judging you but I think it will just be harder for you to understand what my life is like and I, in turn, will always think- 'just wait!' If we have enough in common outside of K, we'll probably be fast friends.  I made the decision to have K, and she is my life- friends or no friends. It's a package deal now, and most activities will be centered around her unless it's a very rare Mommy night out... hopefully! Happy Friday!

Terrific Tuesday: Rollin, Rollin, Rollin....

Yes... it's finally happened!!!  Kiera has rolled over from her stomach to her back for the very first time! (Well, that WE saw- we asked the grandparents and our caregiver to not tell us if she did it there first!!)  Just one day shy of her 26-week 'Birfday' and after some 'show and tell' by her BFF Kennadie (that really was a coincidence, no?), she just went right along and flipped over like she was an ol' pro and has been doing it forever!  Then she looked at us as we were cheering and clapping like, "what the heck??" and then put her back on her tummy to see if she would do it again.... and she did although a bit slower this time.  And then she was done......... D-O-N-E, done.  She doesn't get ticked off very often (we're spoiled like that, remember?) but her crying definately let us know that "silly human baby tricks" time was over. 

Yes, six months might be a bit late for the 'rolling' milestone... I haven't been a big fan of 'Tummy Time' so far... so call me a bad Mommy for letting her dictate what we want her to do.... whatever.  She just doesn't like 'Tummy Time,' and since I am a working mom, and my quality time with her Monday through Friday is limited, I prefer to spend happy time with her.  So, the pediatrician did say that putting her on her cute little belly would give her incentive to flop over... well soon enough the rolling over trick will be a daily occurance and not just another fleeting Mommarazzi moment.  At least when she goes to her six-month appointment next week, we will be honestly saying that she is rolling over... and her rolling means that she's just a short time from crawling and having to baby-proof the house.... it's been nice knowing that she stays in one place; AND not having to worry about peeing myself while fumbling with the baby-proof lock on the toilet at night!

Happy Birthday Leah!

I have been blessed: with great family, a precious new daughter (the main topic of the blog, of course!), and with great friends.... I have three really close girlfriends and one I especially consider near and dear to my heart.  I recently just shared one of the most important moments of my life with her- the birth of my daughter- and am really glad that she was there for moral support for both myself and Jason.  Leah has been my friend since childhood- our dads' were BFF's and natch, we were too.... we are so very different (and amazingly, my wonderful hubby is very much like her!) yet very similar too.  I hope that everyone is fortunate enough to have at least one great friend in their life like I have in Leah!  ( :

So, she turned 21 (again!) today.... and I wanted to wish her a very blogerific Happy, Happy Birthday! 

.... And a Little Mustard for the Ketchup....

...yes, playing catch-up again!
(that's for you honey.... he puts mustard on EVERYTHING!)

I’ve not forgotten blogland, it's just these past few weeks have been busy, busy- and I’m trying to just managing eating and working let alone keeping this updated. The good news is that life is finally slowing down this week and I am looking forward to a little break!!!!




We had a regularly scheduled OB appointment on the 15th and it was cancelled- but we didn’t find out until after we go there! Ugh- talk about frustrating! Furthermore, they didn’t seem very concerned once I talked to the triage nurse that the next appointment wouldn’t be until I hit 36weeks! Needless to say, I was concerned and managed to book another appointment (although w/ a diff OB) for the 17th . I’ve been having serious Braxton-Hicks since early last week due to the heat and impending anxiety. One contraction had my baby belly tight for nearly 40 minutes- not so comfy! Jason couldn’t go (thank goodness, I actually had to have an “exam” done for the first time since very early on and I’m trying to maintain a shred of ladylike dignity in front of dear hubby- yes, I know that will fly out the window half-way through labor, but give me a few more weeks!). The good news? No dilation. Bad news? She is a big baby already- about 18” long and 6# already and she has about another five weeks to grow. Holy 9# toddler! So, all is well- so far!




After the appointment, I had a girls’ afternoon planned with my friend Kindle who flew in from Georgia (y’all) for the baby shower. We had a leisurely lunch, got pedis (my polka dot toes kinda look like cartoon mushrooms- and not because they are swollen!!!!) and went shopping- fun! Now how mean is this- she and her parents placed bets on how long I would last for the afternoon; and I was wiped out at 5:30! Nothin’ like hauling around a big ol’ preggers belly to end a fun day out! ( :






Kindle and I









and 'smurf mushroom' pedicure!





























Not to mention I had to rest up for the big baby shower the next day (the 18th) at Dad & Stepmomsters hosted by her and BFF Leah!






Jason and I have been on the hunt for a glider/ rocker for the nursery- GrammaH did give us $$ to spend, but I wanted to try to save a little green (the environment- by recycling and money by not buying retail!) and get one from either a yard sale or craigslist. So we got up early (pre-baby shower) on Saturday to hit a few yard sales off of Craigslist that listed gliders…. Needless to say I am in love with craigslist! Unfortunately we didn’t find what I wanted and the few C/L ads that I’ve inquired about have already sold. Oh, and I discovered a petpeeve- people that say they are having yard sales- and don’t- it almost ranks right up there with them NOT taking down their signs! LOL.




The shower was very fun- I feel so honored that all of my friends and family have been so generous and caring during my pregnancy journey! It was all one big blur, actually! I am working on a complete baby shower post hopefully that will be up by the end of the week! That’s another reason that I’ve been a bad blogger- trying to finish the nursery and find a home for all of the baby schwag had been an adventure! ( :

(some of the Baby Shower Schwag taking over dining room)

<---- note: Jenxie Cat liking the bassinet!! LOL- he's been sleeping in the bottom shelf of it!

We were also busy visiting with friends and family over the weekend, finishing up classes for our Baby Degree as well as Jason’s “jail time” (he he- community service in lieu of paying $$ for a ticket) and maternity pictures throughout the week. I’m not sure if our classes have earned us a Master’s degree, but I definitely feel like we’ve just graduated from baby college. The week was wrapped up with the Keith Urban concert/ girls night out with Nanette and Erika- those Shirley Temples made it almost impossible to drive home! Phew- I’m EXHAUSTED just reliving the whole week! Time for a nap…..

One of our maternity pictures....

A random Keith Urban pic- great show- comfy seats in a luxury box too! ( :

Can She Hear Me?

There is much controversy in the medical world over what (and when) babies in utereo can hear- or even see for that matter. Studies have found that fetal hearing is clearly developed by 24 weeks- and my own experience with BabyW would have to agree. I think that she began to recognize sounds right about that time, and coincidence or not, was active whenever we were in the pr essence of another baby. I've tested this theory again over the past few weeks while visiting my girlyfriends and allowing BabyW to have playdates with Baby Aaliyah, Baby Penelope and Baby Grayson! (She's a busy little girl already!) Every time we are around a baby, and it isn't her normal 'awake' time, she reacts with movement. My biggest conclusion as to her sensitivity was over the 4th of July.




I grew up in a a very Podunk, Norman Rockwell-esque town in the middle of California. Very small, and complete with the down-home 4th of July celebration every year. My mom still lives there (how much longer after BabyW arrives! LOL) This is the one time of year that I also get completely homesick- my extended family also comes and this is one holiday that we all get to see each other and catch up. This year was no exception, and despite the 660 mile/ 13-hour + round trip, we made the journey- plus it was school reunion time, a weekend, and the baby shower. Although the drive itself was uneventful, it required a few more stops than normal due to my bitty bladder syndrome. I also discovered that it takes twice as long to load up a car for the road trip and 20 minutes in, I was completely exhausted and began just tossing crap in the rental car- thank goodness for an SUV with room! BabyW was on her best behaviour during the travels- of course!

Saturday the 4th was a BUSY day! It started with shower preparations, then the parade (it runs down Main Street twice!) honoring our nation's military, a arts and crafts fair, visiting with family, the baby shower and on to the fireworks- usually my favorite part! Due to traffic LOL- if you could see the town, you'd be laughing too!- we hoofed it in on brand new sidewalks and joined friends to enjoy the fireworks. GrandmaH bought a sponsorship in BabyW's name- so very cool- but we didn't make it much longer than that. At the detonation of every firework, BabyW 'jumped'- again and again. After about 10 minutes, we were both exhausted and left. There is no other explanation to her reacting like that except for the sounds of the fireworks. Needless to say by the time we got back to my mom's, I was very tired and trying to ward off Braxton-Hicks and some minor swelling. It was quite an adventure!







So, I think BabyW can hear- will she have Mommy's cat-like ears is the question???




From the parade: 'Uncle' Dave & 'Aunt' Betty's old firetruck- we are normally riding on it!

Smokey the Bear!





BabyW's Fireworks that Grandma bought for her!

Fetal Hearing Research:

http://tinyurl.com/kjuwy3

http://tinyurl.com/djmlw

Baby Showers

You know how when you are always the bridesmaid, each wedding gets a bit harder to participate in no matter how happy you actually are for the couple? You feel like everyone else around you is getting married and here you sit, either hopelessly single, or your significant other won't get off the pot and pop THE question. You are silently screaming inside while going through the motions of participating in whatever wedding related activities you have to participate in (except of course for the bachelorette party...... lemon drop martoonis always help!). Like the JLo in the Wedding Planner, "Those who can't wed- plan."




Well, in my case, complete avoidance was the best policy. I suffered not only from fertility issues but also from a horrible case of baby envy and shower anxiety. Just send a gift, no appearance necessary. It's hard to go to the blessed event knowing that Mommy was able to get knocked up on the first try, meanwhile you are the one who is perfecting her aim on ovulation and HPT pee sticks. And sometimes, it's just too hard to fake your 'happiness.' I did make one exception to this policy last year for BFF Leah after a long heart-to-heart. I just vowed to win all the little shower games, bring the best present (and the rum) and not be the one to cut the "let's see how big Mommy's belly" string at circumference so big it would make her cry. It wasn't as painful as I had thought. Perhaps because I had come to terms with my feelings or because we had actually started fertility treatments and I wasn't feeling quite so 'broken' anymore....




Well, I attended my first baby shower this past weekend since I've amended my policy (and no, it's not because mine is coming up- lol)- it's just easier to attend now that BabyW is on the way and I can actually be happy helping the new Mommy celebrate her own little bundle of joy! Remember, a woman's prerogative is to change her mind- a preggers woman's prerogative is to CONSTANTLY change her mind! Not to mention, my friend Amber lives a few hours away and I haven't seen her in forever, and I'm so all about the food right now! ( :




It was a really nice tea-party themed shower (and yes, I did win a game- I knew how many weeks preggers she is- we're just 3 weeks apart) and-gasp!- even had my first pregnant belly photo taken at Amber's insistence! I am not sporting the cute little bump that she has (my arse is bigger than her baby bump!)- mine is more like a medicine ball! (I shudder to think of what I would look like had I not lost so much weight in the first trimester!) So, because my friend Kindle has asked so nicely (and so often) I am actually going to post my first belly photo for the whole bloggoshpere. I'm sure that this won't be the last photo or baby shower for that matter! ( :

A Prayer for a Friend

I received an e-mail early yesterday morning from my friend Amber - she is also preggers like me and expecting a daughter in mid-August- that broke my heart. Her 18-month-old nephew fell ill very suddenly over the weekend; unfortunately the diagnosis was not good- meningitis. Unfortunately baby Ryder passed away in his mother's arms just hours after Amber sent out the e-mail. I feel so horrible for the family; I can't imagine what they are going through. How can you make sense out of losing such a helpless little guy, and how do you ever recover from that? I'm sure you never do, you just pick up the pieces and try to move on with your life. I didn't know Ryder, but my heart still aches for my friend and having to deal with the loss of their little angel.




I think as I am beginning to start a new chapter in my life as a Mommy, things like this affect me differently. It was hard enough coping with loss during each miscarriage prior to BabyW even though they were very early- if something were to happen to BabyW right now, I would never recover. Even though she sometimes makes my eyes water when she gives me a swift little kick, I love her fiestiness (she's definately going to have red hair!) and predictability. (I can almost set my watch to her little activity in there!) Life would never be the same....




But you do survive. A family friend lost his young son, just four-years-old, to a really rare genetic disease. Again, another senseless tragedy. So unexplainable- especially when you try to do it in medical terms. Little Gregory had Gaucher disease; and at the time of his diagnosis not much was known about it. Basically, in this disease- nearly always fatal- a child lacks an enzyme necessary for their body to eliminate dead cells and stores them in other areas of the body resulting in organ failure. There is no cure. It has been 12 years since Greg and Deborah have lost their son. It has been 11 years that the legacy of Gregory lives on in their charity- the Children's Gaucher Research Fund. They focused their grief into a goal- to help other families that have been affected by this rare disease. And it has helped.... the research is making great strides much in part to the grants that the CGRF provides to the scientific community to study and research lysosomal storage diseases (think along the lines of TaySachs or Parkinsons). I don't know how much it has helped Greg and Deborah cope and survive, but their strength and pursuit of a cure is amazing to me. It's an honor for me to take part in finding a cure: our annual corporate golf tournament (which is taking place next Thursday!!) is in it's 8th year and we donate all net proceeds to the CGRF; and Jason and I also volunteer our time and services in planning and running their biennial medical conferences. It's the least we could do- everyone wants a cause to belong to and I'm sure these efforts will take on a different meaning for us as we become parents.




I hope upon hope that we won't ever have to survive losing our child, but if we do, I know that the love, compassion and strength of friends and family as well as perfect strangers will help us endure. I hope that each day will become easier for Amber's family....




Here's to angels watching over us in Gregory. And now, Ryder.