Some Days I Dislike Being a Woman.....

...that would be about 10-12 days out of the month..... yep, almost 1/3 of the month I hate Mother Nature. For those same reasons I am blessed with a wonderful little girl (who I hope never has to suffer through PMS symptoms like I had as a teenager, nor those that are even more random now.)
     So if you haven't caught on yet, this post is going to be about my period. Probably falls under the TMI category, but since most of my faithful readers are women who might be able to relate or commiserate, I am simply whining venting.
     I remember hearing at some point during my pregnancy that my monthly cycle was going to get easier after I had a baby- lucky for them I don't remember who the source of this large red lie came from otherwise I might have to hunt them down and whack them with a tampon (unused) because the were oh so wrong. It has not been easier- quite the opposite- and also unpredictable and unbearable. I was 'normal' perhaps for a month or two post-baby and since then I've had the joy of experiencing crazy ass symptoms ranging from sometimes bi-monthly cycles to debilitating headaches, fatigue, mood swings and more. Sounds a bit like pregnancy symptoms, right? Not. Just the 'luck' of the draw I guess. And I might be going out on a limb here, but I think that it all boils down to the main reason that we had fertility issues in the first place- my progesterone. I've talked to my OB/GYN and he says that losing weight and being on birth control will help and suggested an IUD. I clearly hear what you're saying Mr. Man but you don't understand.... when you have boobs and these hips, I'll feel like you're understanding me. (Yes, I know, for the love of lattes, just change doctors... I really like Dr. V.... um, never noticed that correlation, ha ha....  I'm a bit on the sheepish side when it comes to speculum and paper gowns that trying out a new doc makes me cringe)
     I read up on the IUD and even with a copper one, I think it will still whack my system out- and have you read all those side effects? I don't need anymore help retaining/ gaining weight or with my mood swings.... and the pill, well, finding one with a dose that doesn't make me look or eat like a stoned teenager or act like a psycho bitch would be good--- it's riding out the experimental period (no pun intended) that is difficult. 
     This last cycle was about the last straw- I was so incredibly emotional with a short (is there a word that describes shorter than short) fuse that it pushed me over the edge.  Combine that with a precocious little toddler who didn't nap for two days and you can cue up the soundtrack from Psycho.... seriously, I had to lock myself in the bathroom and give myself a timeout- with a king size package of Reese's and a bottle glass of wine. At 11:30 a.m.  (just kidding, the wine was an afterthought- I will be sure to put it in the emergency stash for next month) It was unreal and unfair. I have a great little girl, my uterus has served it's purpose and it can go away now.
      And today my nose looks like Rudolph.... really? Hi, I'm fifteen. Cool, just one more little symptom that I can throw into my iPeriod app.  Yep, there's an app for that- why not? 
So I'm game for some supplements or vitamins to help, but not anymore hormone based anything--- my family will probably start locking me in the garage for five days out of the month pretty soon. At least there's a fridge and wine in there....  

Baby Showers

You know how when you are always the bridesmaid, each wedding gets a bit harder to participate in no matter how happy you actually are for the couple? You feel like everyone else around you is getting married and here you sit, either hopelessly single, or your significant other won't get off the pot and pop THE question. You are silently screaming inside while going through the motions of participating in whatever wedding related activities you have to participate in (except of course for the bachelorette party...... lemon drop martoonis always help!). Like the JLo in the Wedding Planner, "Those who can't wed- plan."




Well, in my case, complete avoidance was the best policy. I suffered not only from fertility issues but also from a horrible case of baby envy and shower anxiety. Just send a gift, no appearance necessary. It's hard to go to the blessed event knowing that Mommy was able to get knocked up on the first try, meanwhile you are the one who is perfecting her aim on ovulation and HPT pee sticks. And sometimes, it's just too hard to fake your 'happiness.' I did make one exception to this policy last year for BFF Leah after a long heart-to-heart. I just vowed to win all the little shower games, bring the best present (and the rum) and not be the one to cut the "let's see how big Mommy's belly" string at circumference so big it would make her cry. It wasn't as painful as I had thought. Perhaps because I had come to terms with my feelings or because we had actually started fertility treatments and I wasn't feeling quite so 'broken' anymore....




Well, I attended my first baby shower this past weekend since I've amended my policy (and no, it's not because mine is coming up- lol)- it's just easier to attend now that BabyW is on the way and I can actually be happy helping the new Mommy celebrate her own little bundle of joy! Remember, a woman's prerogative is to change her mind- a preggers woman's prerogative is to CONSTANTLY change her mind! Not to mention, my friend Amber lives a few hours away and I haven't seen her in forever, and I'm so all about the food right now! ( :




It was a really nice tea-party themed shower (and yes, I did win a game- I knew how many weeks preggers she is- we're just 3 weeks apart) and-gasp!- even had my first pregnant belly photo taken at Amber's insistence! I am not sporting the cute little bump that she has (my arse is bigger than her baby bump!)- mine is more like a medicine ball! (I shudder to think of what I would look like had I not lost so much weight in the first trimester!) So, because my friend Kindle has asked so nicely (and so often) I am actually going to post my first belly photo for the whole bloggoshpere. I'm sure that this won't be the last photo or baby shower for that matter! ( :

And A Blog is Born!

What is it about the two little lines on that stick that turns nearly every woman into a harried, worried and tired, walking, talking science experiment? One that make you feel as if you can't get enough information about the miracle that is pregnancy? Sure enough- my test said "Yep" and off I run to the bookstore to scour the shelves to find the perfect pregnancy encyclopedias. Not only to the bookstore, but I also bookmarked no less than eight websites for advice and knowledge. You would think that it really did require a user manual to be a pregnant woman! It's hard to believe that millions of women have had healthy babies and prego journeys for hundreds of years without so much as a manual!

I am currently 5 weeks, 3 days along- and you are thinking- she found out early!! Yes, I did. My period technically wasn't even late but, my husband (now referred to as DH) and I have been trying for over three years, and I was diagnosed with some minor fertility issues and we conceived Baby W with the help of Clomid through the fertility clinic at Kaiser. So needless to say that we were very aware of what was going on and I took the first opportunity to tinkle on a stick to find out. I've also had several miscarriages and although I am cautiously optimistic, I have a good feeling about this time around. (**Send good thoughts!**) We deserve this little bean. I can't tell you how hard it was every time I heard the word pregnant or even saw a pregnant person for the last few years. It just wasn't fair! I feel for anyone that is going through problems trying to conceive their children; I can relate. And now I'm excited to relate to pregnant ladies and join the Mommy Club. So, I hope that if you are reading this you find this entertaining and even educational- I'll try to refrain from too much information (TMI)! Thanks for stopping by.
~Pregnant Chick and Soon to Be Mommy, Carol~