No, Mom, You CAN'T Put Up Your Christmas Tree Today....

... or subtitled, "Let the Freakin' Turkey Have His Day Too.."
Yes, this is an actual conversation that I had with my wonderful Mom this weekend. In all fairness I do have to say that the comment was directed to her very Martha-like boyfriend (but that's a story for another day), yet I'm still shaking my head days later. I'm not bah-humbuging the holidays- I love decorating my house for the holidays, but the earliest that IMHO it should be permissible is mid-November at the earliest.
    Seriously- there is at least a few more celebratory occasions between Day 'o Candy and Christmas that should at least be given a cursory nod before you put up the evergreen tree and toss some tinsel on it.
    I mean the holidays are overly commercialized as it is, but holy moly, to actually have Christmas stuff out in retail stores BEFORE Halloween is just a bit more than I can understand. Yes, really.  I had to take MiniLatte to pick up some sparkles for her Tinker Bell costume and there right next to the giant light-up Jack 'o Lantern were CHRISTMAS trees galore and a display blasting carols. On October 30th. OCTOBER. That's a full 56 days before Christmas. To say something nice about it, MiniLatte did exclaim, "Christmas Tree!," so I can imagine that it's going to be a fun December. Emphasis on December.
    I love, love, love Fall- the colors, the cozy fireside afternoons; baking cookies; pumpkin, vanilla, falling leaves, apples.... I like to celebrate those little things before I jump into full-swing Christmas. Maybe it's the fact that we've only had one week of Fall so far here (70 on Halloween, and then 50 the next day followed by the first storm- seriously, a late Fall) and I'm a bit behind schedule. (Um, yes, carved pumpkins done exactly one doorbell ring into the trick or treaters!) or the fact that I was used to a delayed start on Christmas until after college finals. (It doesn't matter that excuse is losing merit so five years ago!)  I just can't relate to Christmas preparations before Thanksgiving...
    It's like retail is setting the tone for letting us enjoy the holiday season and each store is trying to one-up the other with it's first Christmas sale. It just bugs me.... and don't get me started on Santa. Jolly Old Saint Nickolaus was already sitting court at the mall center court- and it was just November 6th. The mall was already decked out in it's holiday finery (they probably just had Pumpkins and spiders glued to it and ripped it off when the clock chimed midnight on Halloween...) Seriously... Santa... day after Halloween. It just doesn't seem right to me. But it's retail. Now, my mom?
    She has managed to keep the Christmas elf from putting up the tree so far. It might be an argument for her in a week or so, but so far, so good. As for me, I'm digging out the Fall-ish themed decorations and will soon replace the red, white and blue. Just kidding- it's more like bunnies and eggs...

Things That Make You Go What the Hell???

Years ago, it was the stories about little helpless animals being abused that used to get me, now, it's the stories about kids as well. When you're a mom, there's just something that helps you easily bond with other Moms- it's like a switch is flipped on and a common denominator of the little ones helps you to start a conversation or forge a relationship. It's also the same 'something' that makes you shake your head and wonder what the hell a fellow mom was thinking. Don't get me wrong, I really try not to judge other people in normal everyday situations such as overhearing the toddler screaming "Damn it!" at the top of her lungs in Bath & Bodyworks.... oh, wait- that was me.... my take on competitive parenting still stands; my thoughts are leaning towards moms who just blatantly put their children in harms way, or in this case the woman who is accused of killing her 7 week old daughter in the microwave or me forming my own opinion surrounding the facts about Kaylee Anthony. WHAT. THE. HELL. 
Please note the use of me calling the first instance a woman instead of a mom is completely deliberate- it's challenging for me to group her in a category the same as myself and in the second case, I'd much rather place the emphasis on the angel-baby rather than than the selfish person who bore her.
    In the case of the microwave story, this was one of the first times that I've ever had a queasy stomach while reading an article; and the thought of the poor baby girl just brings tears to my eyes. I know that in the sake of justice, she deserves a fair trial, and I'll grant her that (at the cost of how much to taxpayers...) but her actions are completely reprehensible. How can anyone do harm to their own children in such a horrible manner? I can't fathom it....
   I think back to when MiniLatte was that little and helpless. I was battling PPD but even during a bad moment, my first thought was always putting her safety and well-being first (perhaps the Zoloft helped...) and when I felt like I couldn't handle a certain Mommy-moment, I called in the cavalry. In retrospect, I may not be able to truly relate because she was such an easy-going little baby, but there were those times. Those times called for what we called our "Baby Spa," taking the bouncy seat in the bathroom and turning the shower on for the white noise and steam. It would usually calm her down, but I remember one particular day where I was also crying and thinking to myself if it was always going to be hard. At no time in the most trying of moments did I even come close to thinking that I wanted to harm my infant.
   And Kaylee, oh dear. There is something completely wrong with that family period. Either they went to great lengths to a) cover-up an accidental drowning; or b) cover-up a murder by drowning -or- she just outright murdered her child to return to a party-girl life. What baffles me is that the father is culpable in some manner.... if it were my dad, he would have throttled me and then driven me to jail himself. My friends and family ask about MiniLatte daily, let alone to go 31 days without wondering about her whereabouts... hell, I passed up my annual conference this week for my direct sales business because it would be too hard to be away from her at this point.  And my tattoo would be one honoring my little girls name.... not Bella Vita. Life sure wouldn't be as sweet without my precious girl in it; and I certainly would have a hard time going on with my own life. Yet, she probably didn't have to fight biology to have Kaylee like we did MiniLatte, she also isn't deserving to have another child..... yes, I know I'm judging but it just breaks my heart---- we are supposed to protect the little ones!
   Both of these former moms will have their day eventually. In the meantime, I'm going upstairs to hold my daughter and smother (sorry, perhaps out of context?) her with kisses.... and say a prayer for those little Angel-girls.
 

Just One

Uno.
Solo.
Only.
Sole.
Lone.
One. Child.
Yes, only child. That's my daughter. That's also me.....

      The burning question of the year is either WHEN or ARE you having another child. I'm not planning on it. Our daughter is wonderful, sweet, beautiful, kind, gentle, adorable and perfect. Although I'm sure that efforts may be duplicated, but we I'm quite happy with our little family of three. My husband would certainly like one more. I on the other hand, don't. It's actually quite a nosy and personal question; akin to asking someone why they stopped at just two? Unlike Ruffles, I can have just one and for me there are a multitude of reasons- physical, personal and financial to name a few.
      On the phsyical side: because I don't want to go through pregnancy and labor again. Yes, my pregnancy was nearly text-book despite the fact that getting there wasn't. And labor was shorter than half of an average work day, however, I enjoyed neither. It's a complete crap shoot to say whether a second pregnancy would be the same- or worse. I'm thinking that two years later and closer to the big four-oh increases the chances of problems all around.
      I also was not comfortable with a newborn (and the newborn smell that everyone talks about is not the same one that I'm thinking of....). The comfort level obviously grew on me as I was able to do some on-the-job training but again, not wanting to pile more sleepless nights on top of the ones that we already get. (K slept so muchbetter a year ago than she does now- not quite sure why the return to 4 a.m. feedings?!)  And adding juggling the needs of a tiny newborn along with those of a very smart and active toddler in addition to a career and life just scares me. There are days that I feel stretched too thin as it is.
      I'm also not game for another two plus years of diapers. There is light at the end of this tunnel o' Huggies and I'm really looking forward to it. And speaking of Huggies- the expense of day-to-day care is something that we are really considering. According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture's Child Rearing Calculator, and discount the cost of shelter (we've been here years prior to her!) and daycare, it costs us roughly about $15,000 a year to raise little K. That reflects 2009 numbers- I think it's safe to say it might be inflated a bit higher today in 2011, while our salaries aren't. And believe me, I try to save money in as many areas as possible where it doesn't affect health or safety! The calculator says that having a second child would double that; but even on the low side, I would guesstimate perhaps $22,500 for two children. Did I mention college? Even though hubby and I are proud owners of student loans (ha!), I do not want K to have to worry about that- we're stuffing as much 'extra' money into her college savings account (and our retirement funds as well) to plan for the future. 
     While larger families were very common to help with the division of labor years and year ago, the smaller family is becoming quite common when you consider metropolitan living and costs. Our family is normal! But I often hear the reaction that "you shouldn't do that to your child," when I answer the "Are you having another?" question. I shouldn't do what? I shouldn't provide her with as much love and devotion as possible? I shouldn't work hard to provide the best possible life for her and our family in the long run hopefully demonstrating a good life and work ethic? I get the 'sibling bond' argument, but I've seen that go either way-- while my two step-sisters are thick as theives;  a good friend is absolutely not a fan of her brother. And as far as her being lonely, between her Daddy and I and all of her family members, she is not lonely. Additionally, she knows how to independently play and is developing quite the imagination! K plays well with others and knows how to share- something that we are teaching her, not her learning from a sibling.
      If you are really curious as to why just K, I'm happy to tell you that I'd love to concentrate on creating and molding a selfless, talented, kind, gentle, creative, productive little girl; along with having a happy and relaxed Mommy and Daddy to raise her. But please don't make me have to debate with you why our choice is right for us...........

Date Night Makes Me Yearn for Balance

I had a date last night. With the refrigerator. Oh the joys of being a Mommy! Seriously, I felt like I was getting acquainted again with my kitchen today after spending the last month in between vacation, holiday and birthday celebrations, work and family outtings and just being plain too tired or busy. I would say that in the last six weeks, I've probably cooked a home-cooked meal not even a dozen times. Wow.      Fortunately, as a dual-income family, we can eat out (um, IHOP, anyone?) and it doesn't completely kill our budget, but it also doesn't help it. It also doesn't help the diet even though I try to make healthy selections. What bothers me most is the amount of food that I just had to throw into the garbage from cleaning out the fridge. A bag full, and I'm talking trashcan size, not a grocery bag. I'm mad at having to throw money away for no reason other than lack of preparation..... so irritated.
     I really do try to meal plan, but then the best laid plans..... it takes a lot of time to be prepared, and I feel like that is seriously lacking right now. I'd much rather spend those four hours (if that) every evening with my daughter playing, reading or cuddling and not cooking or cleaning. Unfortunately, a maid is not in the budget and reality sets in. I have to find a better balance between all of the domestic things, the work stuff, parenting (like that ever stops) and having extra time to do other activities that I enjoy, or even fit some sleep into the equation. I'm envious of those moms that can balance all kinds of shit with one eye closed and on bedrest; or those that have multiples plus- how do they make it look so easy? By no means am I comparing myself- I'm just coveting perception!
     Fortunately for our household, I'm not in this alone as my wonderful husband puts in his fair share- especially with the laundry (he runs out of underwear first!) but I would really like to get a better grip on the things that I personally handle.... I have a few ideas in mind, so I'm going to do a little 'workstudy' over the next few weeks.... and I'll definately keep you posted, but in the meantime, I'm open to suggestions!

Love, Laughs and Caffeine,
Carol

Dog, Meet Hydrant; Hydrant, Meet Murphy

Do you ever have one of those weeks where you think you're the hydrant instead of the dog? This past week was exactly that for me. I just felt like everything that I had to deal just plain sucked a big dog biscuit. It wasn't horribly traumatic, but just one darn thing going sideways right after the another!
  My week was insanely busy at work- I say that in a good way- but sometimes it just makes my head spin! As a project manager, I am constantly switching gears and in the middle of many things at one time.  It's fun, exciting and above all is mentally taxing.  At the end of the day after a long commute, I very much appreciate some needed downtime to debrief when I get home; and not being able to sometimes causes additional stress.  Take for example when I get home from a long day and have to deal with something like, oh, our central heat going out during a very rainy and cold week!! I don't do cold well. 
    Sometime in the middle of the night on Tuesday, the motor of our HVAC unit in our six-year old home went out. Unfortunately, it took a full day to realize that there was a bigger issue than a dirty filter or new batteries in the thermostats. And seeing the dollar signs adding up to fix whatever is wrong definitely is making life a bit colder, no pun intended. 
  On top of the heater freezing (ha ha), mini-us came down with a bug and has been sick for over a week.  Wednesday and Thursday were the worst of the days.  Keeping her warm in a cold house led to lots of improvising with blankets, space heaters and steamy showers.  We managed to get the master bedroom to a balmy 67 degrees, while the rest of the house is forming icicles......
   Come Thursday, another long day, I finally talked myself into going to the gym (actually it was my BFF who wanted some company) for the first time in eons and not even 15 minutes into my workout I get a panicked call from hubby telling me I have to come home now. Click.  Uh, okay.  Thank goodness I remembered to shut off the treadmill prior to dismounting..... I hurry home to K crying and Jason freaking out.  Apparently he was taking her temperature and she moved and resulted in a big ol' boo boo with her screaming and bleeding out of her ear.  And a trip to the E.R.
  She was okay, but blood coming out of an ear is never good.  And poor Jason was beside himself with guilt.  With some ear drops and a little TLC, she'll be as good as new in about a week.  Adding injury to the little cold, and the literal cold- we're certainly batting 1000! 
   I was certainly looking forward to a three-day weekend and capped off my Friday evening with a hot bath, a glass of wine and sugar cookies for dinner. 
I wake up on Saturday with a disposition much chillier than broken-heater-room-temperature and decide to build a fire.  Apparently there was something blocking the flue and our house quickly fills with smoke, the fire alarms go off and alas, another freakin' problem to deal with.  I prop open the doors, open the windows, turn on all of the fans and it completely defeats the purpose of a warm house.... crap!  I snapped- called my dad crying wanting him to fix it, like now. 
  The rest of my morning is spent trying to remove the smoky smell from the house, a trip to the gym and a mani.  Oh, and discovering that there was some chicken in the fridge that dripped everywhere and contaminated everything below.  Issue five.  Fun.    And I do even remember at some point cooking dinner during the week, I burned it- difficult to do in my trusty Pampered Chef pans.... but that's the life of a hydrant.
My saving grace came in the form of dad showing up with a cord of wood and two really stiff drinks at dinner while celebrating my lil' sis' 21st birthday.         
  This morning I've bid Mr. Murphy adios and I'm enjoying a toasty fire, fresh blueberry pancakes, nothing on the agenda and my little girl acting almost her usual sweet self again.  I'm still shaking my head over the events of the week.  And appreciating that while shit does happen, it could be worse, and am thankful for the things that we do have- a home (although a bit faulty), family and health (even if at the current moment it does have a runny nose).  I try to see the glass as half-full, but there's just those times where the problems pile up, that Susie Sunshine isn't quite so. It could be worse... of course, but personal issues feel very large when you are in the middle of them no matter the magnitude. It also takes the support of the right people to help with your little problems- a good friend who's ex-husband owns an HVAC company; a dad who is a Don-of-All-Trades; friends who listen to your problems and leave a bottle of wine at your door; and interest in your new-to-you Keurig and lots of caffeine to get you over the hump.
We now return to our regularly scheduled blogging after this wine, er, whine.....

Will You Be My Anti-Valentine?

I'm going to freely admit that today is not one of my favorite 'holidays' of the year. And by holiday I mean that in the sense that it has earned its own printed day on the calendar, not a day free from work. It has weaseled it's way into our lives commercially, setting up false expectations forcing people to purchase gifts simply because the masses do and it's socially unacceptable to buck the trend. In this case, you’ll be a cheap, forgetful bastard/ beyotch sleeping in the other room if you boycott February 14th and forget to bring ‘everybody’ else in on the plan.
   I'm not a hater of all things red and heart shaped, I just take slight to commercialism (now as for pink and heart-shaped, that's an entirely different story!).  Take for example; my poor mom was in a fit because she couldn't afford to get K something for Valentine's Day. (Now Mom, you've seen her playroom and nursery- do you really think that she wants for much?) So she baked us cute little cookies with fluffy sugary frosting- yummy and quite perfect. Those are going to be one of the best presents ever. Besides I bought her a boose (K's word for balloon) and said it was from Mammas BB.
    My dislike of the V-Day goes way back to even grade school. Third, fourth and fifth grade kids are just plain mean- and even more so if you happen to be smart and have red hair. I despised the parties and knowing that I was going to get less stupid cartoon cards..... my mommy was smart and instilled in me values of acceptance and fairness and made me give one to all of the little kids- even the ones that picked their noses. To this day I shudder when I see boxes of kiddie Valentines! (Hope that passes before K hits preschool!)  More so, I also always hated seeing my mom unhappy because her then-husband was selfish and never showered her with flowers and fluffy animals or candy. The lack of effort was appalling- not even a card. (The bare minimum!)
    In high school my dislike grew- not because I didn’t have boyfriends to bestow upon me the commercial treats, but because I hated all of the catty one-upmanship of the next day. Um, yeah, I know that you got two dozen roses and I just got three single roses but your boyfriend also was seen getting friendly with Olga just two days ago- yep, that’s true love! I know a handful of people who are still originally together since high school (the rest have swapped!) and I give them props- Valentine’s Day or not! I just found that instead of it making you all lovey and sentimental, it instead made you feel quite the opposite.
     And in college…. I wrote an editorial for my Junior College paper about how wrong it is for the commercial world to make you feel like crap because you’re single. At the time I was newly separated and my beloved Dalmatian was my Valentine- we dined on McD’s cheeseburgers and Boone’s Farm- obviously memorable even that long ago. Fifteen years ago that was progressive- now it’s just called anti-valentinism and is a great reason to go to the bar with your friends and celebrate Sex-in-the-City style.
     It's just a date on the calendar, much like January or June 14th- the world doesn't stop because cupid is amongst us.  Trust me, he wasn't at either of the funerals that I've been to in recent years on....yep, February 14th.....
     Consider if Hallmark created cards in the true origination of the day: A Roman priest- Saint Valentine- whom secretly married couples despite Claudius II’s outlawing marriage (Hmm… sounds like a current event) was condemned and beaten to death with clubs and beheaded. He suffered martyrdom on the 14th day of February, 270AD. Those would be lovely graphics, wouldn’t they?

PERMA-VALENTINE!!!

     Our family isn’t entirely boycotting the day- I received a sweet text message this morning and we purchased together a beautiful dozen roses partly because they were part of a Safeway promotion; little Miss K got two Valentine- hemed boose’s from the $ store and there will be cards exchanged but no over-the-top gifts. I’d rather have those for no reason at all. We usually don’t do dinner out either as pricey boring menus with sub par service isn't worth celbrating (thanks anyways Leah for the offer to watch K- much appreciated!) but there’s an IHOP BOGO coupon out today that is mighty appealing. But I’m actually looking forward a Valentine’s family-style: cooking the cranberry pork chops together from the cookbook that J gave to me as a special, heartfelt Christmas present and enjoying a glass of red wine with a chick-flick after our very best forever-Valentine goes to bed.

Nature.... Nurture.... Bad Genetics?

I'm a small town girl turned coupon-clippin', bargain shopping, latte-sippin' yuppie; what I would call the best of both worlds.  Although I grew up in a blink-and-you-miss-it California town that didn't have much diversity, I 'summered' with my dad in Sacramento and was able to experience other cultures.  I wasn't sheltered, just was fortunate to live in small town where we didn't lock our doors at night or some even left their keys in the vehicle ignitions.  That changed when I was preparing to move for college:  I came over to do my matriculation and was going to meet dad for lunch.  I somehow got on the wrong freeway and while sitting at a gas station trying to get my bearings, I was mugged.  In broad daylight.  At knifepoint.  The creep didn't get more than $20, but also took my 'new' ring- a family heirloom that was a graduation present.  It was a horrible experience, however, I've never gotten lost since (and that was pre-GPS, peoples!) and it certainly heightend my sense about trusting anyone.   I still prefer to think that 80% of the population is generally good; but now that I'm a Mommy, it's much harder for me to grant people the benefit of the doubt.  I have my family to think about and I have no qualms about being critical now.  Had I really paid attention to my prickling hair when the mugger was approaching my car, I would have rolled up my window and possibly not have gotten mugged.  Perhaps.  I pay attention to the bat senses much more now. 

And I also have started to pay attention to things that, in the past, I would have waived off pre-Kiera.  I've always been a pretty open-minded liberal individual; just now I wonder what happened to the other 20% of the population that either makes a public spectacle of themselves or are plainly just bad individuals.  What sets them off?  Experiencing a bad childhood?  Bad parenting?  Bad role models?  Or just bad genetics?  And how do I sit down with my sweet little girl in five years and try to explain to her that sometimes the world just sucks? 

How do I show her that the train-wreck that is Lindsay Lohan will not ever be cool or a good role model- can you believe that she is the same cute little girl from Parent Trap?  I shudder to think where her train derailed; in this case I'm assuming that it was from irresponsible parenting and more concern about their gravy train rather than raising a normal child.  Ugh.  At least I have a very good basis for how I do NOT want my child to turn out. 

I could go on with other celebrities: Britney Spears, once a hot mess (but not as bad as Lohan IMO); struck gold at a young age and was forced to grow up too fast.  Her dad seems to have it dialed in, but Brit created her own Circus, hit rock bottom and has made an impressive comeback; thanks in part to good parenting. 

And although I like this teenager's dad since his "Achy Breaky" days, little Miley Cyrus needs a serious spanking.   I came across her live performance on Dancing with the Stars while channel surfing and had that united parental thought, "if that were my daughter..."  In full disclosure, I have to admit that I like the song but not the outfit and performance by the 17-year old....  I hope that Billy Ray tries to at least remember that she could be a good role model as long as they keep her 'tamed' until she's older- and no, not just 18; into her 20's.... now Beyonce (and even Justin Timberlake... every time I hear that song I think of the SNL parody and laugh) rocked the black onesie, but Miley.... not so much, it seemed like a little girl trying to be an adult too fast.

See what I mean?  I probably wouldn't have thought twice about something like this before I became a mom, it's just now....... hmmm.  Seriously. I'm not even really judgemental or catty; I just want to have a good environment and positive, normal role models for baby girl to experience.  Like Taylor Swift.... or even Drew Barrymore- a childhood star that started on the left path, but straightened her life out and rocks it now.  Although it sucks that I even have to show her good egg and bad egg analogies and teach her about stranger danger, it is my job as a parent.... I hoped and prayed and chose to have her and must be diligent in my lifelong job of raising a good person, a positive role model and productive citizen.... nature- nurture- genetics- whatever- with good parenting, it should all turn out good in the end.

Good Enough

How do y'all do it?  How can you possibly stay sane and feel like you are giving 100% to everything that you do?  Life was hectic before Baby Kiera blessed her with our pressence; and it's still the same, but I just want to make time stop so that I can spend every waking moment focused on her and spending quality time with the one thing in my life that matters most.

I feel torn; I feel torn between the "professional" me- trying to be a good employee, and a good business-owner with my direct sales business; and then the "personal" me- a loving mommy; a good wife; a loyal friend- there just aren't enough hours in the day for me to accomplish things perfectly.  I asked a dear friend who has a few kids and works part-time how she does it and she says that the best advice she ever got when she had her first baby was to aim for 'good enough' and move on.  Now, that's some very practical adivce to ensure that I really don't go insane!  However, my history of following good advice has not always been on target.

And my goal this year to be an awesome blogger?  Um.... no the last post wasn't really dated a month ago....not because I don't have anything to say (I'm sure Jason is thinking to himself, "that will be the day!") or Kiera hasn't done anything fabulous; it's just trying to find the time to write a quality blog entry, or actually upload the pictures that I've taken and put them to some enlightening words!

There are so many things in addition to bloging that I have to do on my 'to-do' list- actually that has been my first step in helping to manage my craziness is pulling out the old planner.  As much as I *heart* my trusty iPhone, there is so much benefit to having my life in a little book that I can look at even if I have a dead battery.  I even found a new planner when I went to Tar-shay to pick up the inserts... go figure: get two new planners for a little over $10 or one set of inserts for $15!  So far, the organization thing is helping a bit.... but there is a still alot to be desired- sometimes I take a look at that lengthy list, and toss the planner in the corner.....

... and sweep up little Kiera in my arms and mentally cross of the A1 item on today's page: spend quality time with my daughter.  This isn't good enough... it's heaven....

Baby Showers

You know how when you are always the bridesmaid, each wedding gets a bit harder to participate in no matter how happy you actually are for the couple? You feel like everyone else around you is getting married and here you sit, either hopelessly single, or your significant other won't get off the pot and pop THE question. You are silently screaming inside while going through the motions of participating in whatever wedding related activities you have to participate in (except of course for the bachelorette party...... lemon drop martoonis always help!). Like the JLo in the Wedding Planner, "Those who can't wed- plan."




Well, in my case, complete avoidance was the best policy. I suffered not only from fertility issues but also from a horrible case of baby envy and shower anxiety. Just send a gift, no appearance necessary. It's hard to go to the blessed event knowing that Mommy was able to get knocked up on the first try, meanwhile you are the one who is perfecting her aim on ovulation and HPT pee sticks. And sometimes, it's just too hard to fake your 'happiness.' I did make one exception to this policy last year for BFF Leah after a long heart-to-heart. I just vowed to win all the little shower games, bring the best present (and the rum) and not be the one to cut the "let's see how big Mommy's belly" string at circumference so big it would make her cry. It wasn't as painful as I had thought. Perhaps because I had come to terms with my feelings or because we had actually started fertility treatments and I wasn't feeling quite so 'broken' anymore....




Well, I attended my first baby shower this past weekend since I've amended my policy (and no, it's not because mine is coming up- lol)- it's just easier to attend now that BabyW is on the way and I can actually be happy helping the new Mommy celebrate her own little bundle of joy! Remember, a woman's prerogative is to change her mind- a preggers woman's prerogative is to CONSTANTLY change her mind! Not to mention, my friend Amber lives a few hours away and I haven't seen her in forever, and I'm so all about the food right now! ( :




It was a really nice tea-party themed shower (and yes, I did win a game- I knew how many weeks preggers she is- we're just 3 weeks apart) and-gasp!- even had my first pregnant belly photo taken at Amber's insistence! I am not sporting the cute little bump that she has (my arse is bigger than her baby bump!)- mine is more like a medicine ball! (I shudder to think of what I would look like had I not lost so much weight in the first trimester!) So, because my friend Kindle has asked so nicely (and so often) I am actually going to post my first belly photo for the whole bloggoshpere. I'm sure that this won't be the last photo or baby shower for that matter! ( :

Shopping While Pregnant Can Be Dangerous to Your Health...

It’s happened…. I knew it would, but that didn’t cushion the shock any less. I put on my favorite pair of denim shorts (to enjoy the toasty weather...of course I do have to say that the fact that we've had two days that were over 100 degrees in mid-May is not very comforting for someone that is going to go through high summer in their third trimester!) and I couldn’t fasten them- at all! The old rubber band in the button trick didn’t even work. Well, I could but breathing was completely optional then…. I’ve been able to wear most of my pre-preggo wardrobe up until now and have enjoyed “trying” out new maternity clothes (Mom says: “you’ll get sick of those soon enough, you should avoid them while you can.” Smart woman- hope BabyW takes after her!) From here on out, I have a feeling that my daily outfits will consist of those clothes that can fit my growing (and growing…) tummy. At least those clothes are cute, but I have to agree with mom at this point that I will be happy to ditch the maternity clothes soon enough. I read somewhere along the way (while I was still reading the pregnancy books- more about that later!) that you should just box up all of your ‘regular’ clothes and revisit them about four months after the baby is born. I’ve done that with most of my seasonal clothes in preparation for BabyW’s arrival. (The baby’s room is going to be in the room that was formerly another walk-in closet/ catch-all room since we moved into this house) But I wasn’t prepared to do that with the rest of my wardrobe; and my dear hubby would have to say that I am the Immelda Marcos of the clothes world. I love a good deal and hardly pay full price, but I never quite grasped that concept of the “one in, one out rule” with my purchases!




So this little run-in with my shorts…. I swear I didn’t shed a tear. Or even throw a pregzilla tantrum! It did mean one thing… shopping for shorts! To any normal woman, a shopping trip might be fun, but add on a few extra inches and hormones, and it’s a crisis. I couldn’t go for the maternity shorts though; the ‘secret hidden panels’ that really aren’t so hidden or secret are made out of polyester and is scratchy. Not to mention, if you throw bridal/wedding or maternity in front of anything in the retail world, it automatically jacks the price up 30%! I was on the hunt for cotton shorts with a stretchy draw-string waistband… I bought a pair at Kohl’s but after wearing them once, they definitely won’t fit the bill for the rest of the hot summer. So here comes the scavenger hunt: Old Navy- nope; Target- nope; Ross- uh-huh; same with Marshall’s, Wal-mart, or Gap. Aargh! You would think that I was looking for a freakin’ Christmas Tree in June! In comes the rescue call from BFF- Lane Bryant- duh! I’ve been shopping there for years! Thankfully there is a Lane Bryant outlet near my work and I finally found some that will work. Crisis averted.




Oh, I won’t even tell you how hard it was to find flat sandals for work- everything has a 2” heel right now. Like I said, shopping is not quite so fun when you’re pregnant unless it’s for baby clothes, but I’m so banned from that right now. BabyW already has three large storage tubs full of clothes- the kid is still in the womb and she’s better dressed that I am! ( :




<--- See, what looks "secret" about that panel? Ugh.

I'm Not a Pregzilla! I'm Not, I'm Not, I'm Not!

Last night I was recounting one of my few hormone-induced (or in this case, hunger) Pregzilla moments for my step-momster, and I had completely forgotten to post it to the blogosphere when it happened. Forgetfulness, that's another pregnancy-related symptom!

Now mind you that this moment happened in around Week 10 at the height of my morning sickness/ insomnia/ fatigue/ pukey stage; and that at that time I was living off of cereal, PB&J sandwiches and fruit smoothies. I woke up at 4 a.m. thinking about food: my trusty box of Sugar Smacks to be exact. (Side note: prior to becoming a Pregnant Chick, I used to follow a relatively lower-carb diet and stuck to the SpecialK with occasional Frosted Wheats- now my cereal is what I lovingly refer to as my kiddie cereal- the sweeter, the better- hence Sugar Smacks!) Although I was thinking about the cereal, it was definitely matter over mind, and I didn't actually go downstairs to go dish me up a bowl. Forward a few hours later to me leaving for work and preparing my little bowl of Sugar Smacks. Where ARE the Sugar Smacks? Did the cereal monster eat the last of it? It usually takes quite a bit to get me upset, but this was definitely on my short list of traumatic events. This is the message I left for DH: "I'm standing in the kitchen looking for my cereal and I know you ate it- why did you have to eat the last of my damn cereal? I've been thinking about it since 4 a.m.!" Okay, so, it was a bit more gruff and you could probably insert another expletive or two. Thank goodness that he didn't pick up the phone, and then again that part of the voicemail cut off.

But I'm still totally upset, so I call mom: "He ate all my *bleepin'* cereal!" No 'good morning' or 'how are you' just ranting about him eating my cereal. I can see her choking back laughter on the other end while she consoles me about this "horrible" situation. So what does Mom get me for Valentine's Day? TWO boxes of Sugar Smacks lovingly wrapped and mailed to me just in time for Cupids Day! LOL. It really is kind of funny now; but poor Jason probably won't eat the last of ANY cereal for the duration of my pregnancy without informing me in very large letters that he has done so! I’ve also promised him to keep these moments to a minimum, and so far half-way through have maintained that.

Do You Know How Hard It Is To Find Non-Pink Nursery Stuff????

Okay you're going to say that until the baby arrives, there's always a chance of it being opposite of what *they* say. I know, but I have to say that this 'mother's intuition' here is positive that it's a girl- and the last ultrasound, the NP said that there was a likely chance that BabyW is a girl. The needle/ thread test worked four times that it's a girl, and bordering on TMI, so does my ovulation chart! LOL

There are those that say, "I just want a healthy baby," but I know that's a load of baby poo- if most women are like me, they are leaning towards wanting one gender over the other. Though, biologically I know it's a hard fact to change once you're little egglet is fertilized. I want a girl. Will I be disappointed if BabyW bucks mommy's intution and comes out with franks and beans, maybe for a brief fleeting moment. (My DH is just making sure that I don't get too disappointed if that is the case...) BUT, I can just feel it..... not to mention I've heard a random comment from multiple people: oh, you had bad morning sickness- it's a girl; your nose isn't flattening out (WTH!)- it's a girl; your it's a girl! Thanks for the encouraging words! We should be able to confirm next week after the required genetic testing that us 'old' freaky moms-to-be have to go through if we are going to be 35 when we deliver! (WTH- again!) So, getting to the point of my rant? I have an idea of what I want for the nursery- and it does not involve pink in any way, shape or form. Do you know how hard it is to find a crib set (not that I am going to get it now anyways!) that doesn't include pink? There are the very vague neutrals that obviously don't, but I want polka dots and those, my friends, have a shade of pink in them somewhere. I did find a set that I did gravitate to- YAY!- but guess what- it's freakin' discontinued! Probably a good thing since it's also around the neighborhood of $300 for a bumper, quilt, sheet and ruffly thingy..... probably has some gold in it somewhere too. This is one way to make a preggers woman cry! I might be even be able to be talked out of the polka dots if there is something else that catches my attention, but it has to not be all frou-frouy- and definately NO PINK!

Here's the colors that I want:

Lavender, sage, and tan....

Here's what I found that I kind of think is cute: (and is discontinued!)

BWAH! I probably wouldn't go with all of the matching stuff though.... and so the hunt is on for something not in PINK.....

Like I Really Have Time for All This???

So, the DH (dear hubby) and I went to what looks like the first of many 'preggers peoples' classes. It was a two-hour class basically on how to be pregnant through 20 weeks- what to eat/ not eat (um, I don't eat fish; and I can't really still stand the thought of eating much anyways!), what the baby looks like as it's developing, nutrition (nutrition?, I'm lucky to still eat anything- too much protein makes me gag right now!) and other classes they want you to sleep, um, I mean sit through.
Well, since I am at 14 weeks, I can say that #1) this information would have been more helpful much, much earlier in the pregnancy, and #2) I didn't learn anything that I haven't already read in a book or on-line. So, there were 120 precious minutes that I will never get back. The one cool thing was seeing the actual sizes of the embyo at 10, 12, 15, 20 and 30 weeks- the growth was amazing! I would have preferred to hear about ways to alleviate common pregnancy-related symptoms (like morning sickness, headaches, etc.) and when I might start feeling better! Next time, do a podcast so I can just listen and actually multi-task (very difficult with a preggo brain, by the way!) Also, it reaffirmed that the litter box is a no-no due to toxoplasmosis, but all the talk about cats made me get all emotional over BooBoo (still, again, ugh!). The other good news is that we had a nice dinner out (yes, I had an appetite- those breadsticks are the best!) at Olive Garden, and I met a possible new recruit for PC! ( ;
My health organization recommends that we also attend a 'late' pregnancy class after 20 weeks- that should be 'fun'- except we do get to tour "Club Med Labor & Delivery," which will be the only good reason to take it. This amongst the 12 hours of the labor and delivery class, the numerous doctors appointments, lab tests, etc. (Pile this on top of all of the time we spent just to go through the fertility part, and we're looking at hundres of hours spent at a hospital or clinic.) Yes, I know, it will continue once Baby W joins us, but at least I'll get to touch, feel, and kiss the reason for it... right now, all I can think of are the hours that I'm missing precious preggers sleep! Just within the next three weeks, I have three appointments- but those are always fun to get a little peek at the baby!
By now, you are saying what's the big deal? Well, there probably really isn't but since I'm pregnant, everything matters! ( : and no, I am not overreacting! I think I'll go take a nap now............