To My Heart on your Fourth Birthday

I remember the day that I found out that we were going to have you like it was yesterday; and the day that you were born was the very best day of my life hands down. Your Daddy and I tried for nearly five years to have you- it was not an easy road to travel, but oh so worth it since you were the end result. I can’t even begin to tell you how you have changed my life and it is all for the better.  Being a Mom makes me want to be a better person and being YOUR Mom is the most fulfilling and rewarding job ever. I wake up to your precious smiling face and thank God for you. I can't ever put into words how much you mean to us.  But please know that it is A LOT when serving you your milk in your favorite princess sippy trumps pressing the brew button on the Keurig.

The past year has held quite a few challenges but so many wonderful moments and memories with you outshine the bad.  You make a great day amazing and a bad day better, especially when you wrap your little arms around my neck and tell me that you missed me.  How blessed am I?

Although a healthy growing girl, we've still had our share of doctors visits this year- I wish to not repeat them, especially not your spinal tap when you had a weird virus. Worst Mom moment so far- but you were charming and brave and only cried a bit and had the ENTIRE staff trying to hunt you down princess stickers after the procedure. You may not have any idea that you can have perfect strangers eating out of the palm of your hand, but after watching you blossom, I completely understand.  Might I add that you are an amazing dose of medicine- both Daddy and I ended up in the hospital at different times and you were the bright spot that helped us feel better.  How so much empathy can come out of a little person is beyond me.  You tell us not to be sad when you see us cry and to be brave when you think something is going to hurt us and although we know it to be, hearing your angelic little voice saying those things is simultaneously heart wrenching and comforting.  You are so amazingly smart and resilient, flexible and easy going and empathetic and a light to any darkness. 

You started PreK (and Vacation Bible School) this year and are well on your way to being Valedictorian and Homecoming Queen, I’m sure. You waltz into the place like you own it (with the tuition we pay, we should….) and I love to hear about your day when I pick you up. The things that you learn (both good and bad) are impressive. I know I am biased but how can I not be proud of you when you point out an octagon or write your name (you’re a lefty, by the way- you can thank your BopPop and Grandma Helen for that) in better handwriting than Daddy.  Your teacher’s name is Ms. Miriam and she too has fallen in love with you.  I really can’t blame her.

You will find out one day that a Mommy loves her child unconditionally but you my dear, are something special.  You almost glow.  You are amazing but not perfect, and you shouldn't be- make mistakes, its how we learn and grow- but please, please,please stay out of my nail polish; play dough goes back into the container with lids ON (ask me some day how you convinced your Grandma K to eat it like a cookie) and stickers and permanent marker is meant for paper and only paper. (Stickers have shown up mysteriously in some crazy places…. Must be the dogs)

I’m not the perfect mom but will be the BEST mom that I can be to you and help guide you in the BEST life that we can provide for you. I will make mistakes, and I will lose my patience and even growl at you when I know that I shouldn't and I will always remind you that I do love you and apologize when I am truly in the wrong. Never be afraid to say you’re sorry and really mean it.  Don’t ever be afraid to give an honest compliment (and continue to give them with reckless abandon like you already do- you probably really made the lady in the grocery store with the pretty dress’ day) and don’t be afraid to love and tell someone you love them.  Tell your best girl friends, your boyfriend (gasp, but I know its coming- you will be a heart breaker), your dog and cat and your family.  Love is free and freeing.  Love also hurts, but it teaches us to be better, stronger and to even love harder.

I hope your passion never fades. Today it is for your Princess collection (of all sizes, materials and conditions (please forgive the dogs for altering Aurora’s dress) pizza and girly-girl dresses, someday it will be shoes and purses (Your dad will roll his eyes and complain when you own 30 pairs of flip flops but it will be out of love- just trust me on this one.) But if you happen to find a zest for something that is completely off the wall- so be it- just make sure that your favorite ‘things’ are yours and not something that you are trying to do or like to impress someone. (As much as I love your Daddy, I will never be a Laker fan, but he knew that going in…. in fact we spent our first day of wedded bliss at a basketball game of both of our favorite teams…. That was over 11 years ago) Your hobbies, likes and dislikes will make you interesting and uniquely YOU.

Speaking of fervor and zest, you've been planning your birthday party since the day after you turned three- it will be your dream Ariel the Mermaid party although scaled down a bit. You get the love of entertaining from me (I’m Sorry and You’re Welcome)- just remember to always be a gracious host and take time away from making the food and cleaning up the mess to enjoy the moment with the people that are there- you never know when they won’t be.  I hope the memories of your fourth birthday will be wonderful. I’m going to fill up your playroom with balloons and decorate the house even though your party isn’t until next week (and not even here, might I add)- balloons in your room will be our birthday tradition.  I am even going to see if Avery the Elf can make a visit from the North Pole to pop in and say hello.

Thank you for making the last 1,461 days the best in my life- I look forward to experiencing the memories that Year Four has in store for us.  We love you so very much Baby Girl.  Happy Birthday.

So, I Got a New "Job"......

Today is day three of my new job. Like most employees experience at their first week of work, it’s hard to decide what to wear, it’s anxiety-ridden, stressful and I don’t really get to talk to my boss or co-workers until the end of the day. My new job, for the time being, is Stay-at-Home Mom (SAHM).
      If you do the math, the time on “the job” might not be adding up; after all MiniMe is actually 3-1/2. It’s just that last Friday was the final day at a job that I’ve held for a quarter of my life. I started there just a few days after graduating from college and have worked there for the past 11 years; and now here I am. This change wasn’t a decision that I made on my own, I’ve joined the ranks of many Americans who have been downsized- my position was eliminated.
      I am terribly sad about that chapter of my life ending. When you hear people talk about loving their jobs, well, I was one of them. I mean I really, really, really LOVED my job, it was a huge part of who I was. I put every ounce of effort into it and my reward was…. Well, this and it truly is bittersweet.
Before I actually had MiniMe, we didn’t even discuss me staying home with her- I wanted to work, in fact I needed to work- not just for the money, but for the self-fulfillment and personal enrichment. I felt like a well-rounded person working AND being a mom (yet, I always tried to find better work/life balance- go figure?!!!?) We also were blessed that our arrangements for daycare were not only free, but with Anti-Latte’s mom, so Mini was in the loving care of her grandma every day. And this, is why I didn’t feel guilty for working- well, once or twice when she was sick… but how lucky were we?
      She will still spend many days at her grandma’s house for several reasons- she gets to see her cousins every other day, I still have some other commitments that will necessitate daycare as well as the fact that Grandma K is a recent widow and MiniMe is a great diversion and excellent therapy. I also don’t want to completely interrupt her schedule should I be fortunate enough to find my next wonderful job sooner rather than later. Also, we will be enrolling her into pre-school this Spring. Yeah, you’re thinking, “She’s not a real SAHM.” You’re right; I have no clue what I am. I’m stuck in emotional limbo of being completely devastated about being laid off to feeling some excitement to getting to spend more time with my family. How cool is it that for the first time since I was 12, I don’t have a work commitment? How sad is it that I don’t have a work commitment? How awesome is it that I can stay at home with my child? How freaked out am I about staying home with my child? Will I get bored? Will we all still like each other at the end of the day? (Oh, c’mon- you’ve experienced those weekends where you couldn’t wait to get back to the office!) What will I wear? No, seriously. I walked into my closet over the weekend and broke into hysterics upon seeing my work wardrobe. I think I have more pajamas than I do casual clothes (and I refuse to venture out of the house, on purpose, in my pajamas). So, I wore yoga pants, and went to the gym twice in the past two days-- this coming from someone who only set foot in the gym twice all of last year. It’s something that I CAN control at this point so I’m relishing it.
      The loss of a job feels like a death- and I’ve gone through most of the stages of grieving over it, not in order and I'm sure I'm not done with it. It is extremely personal. A part of me is gone now and I’m not sure what to do. I’ve started with a very lofty to-do list- things that I’ve always wanted to get ‘around to,’ organizing the CD collection (seriously- I want them all on iTunes so I can pitch the clutter), watching 68 64 episodes of “The Closer” on my DVR; you know, really important things.
        I’ve done most of the work to get ahead of this- my resume is so polished (so explain, why isn’t anyone calling!?) as is my LinkedIn profile, I’ve already applied for unemployment insurance (this will be interesting!) and I’m starting to network. I very much want to take my wonderful husband’s advice and try to enjoy this time, it’s just weird. Not having to go in to an office on any given week day. That’s one thing on my list though- organizing my office- creating an organized nice one to ‘commute’ to when I’m job hunting or working on my direct sales business (who knows! That’s a great focus point too- did you know that there are many women in this country who make six figures work in direct sales?- watch me!) There will be good days- those packed with enough errands and appointments to keep me busy; and then those days where the thought of my ‘former’ life will bring me to instant tears. Many benefits of being out of work- less money for gas or lunches on the go, dealing with commuter traffic, dry cleaning bills, great coffee from my Keurig; and then the downfall- my boss is super demanding- but when she throws those grubby little hands around my neck and says, “I love you Mommy!” it brings me back to reality and I take a deep breath and think that this might be the best job ever.

Happy 3rd Birthday MiniLatte!!!!

My Dear Daughter;

This past weekend we were surrounded by your family and friends that love you to help celebrate the beginning of your third year of life. I was honored by their presence and am always in awe of the amount of people whose lives you have touched at such a young age.

Our family has been going through so much this year with serious health issues, loved ones passing- including the four-legged type, general stress and just life. Yet the one bright spot in all of this is YOU. How can a little one such as you make such an impression? With infectious giggles, a 10,000 mega watt smile, kind words and a hug- that’s how. I’d love to be able to take 100% credit for this but half of that also goes to your Daddy and then we also have to share some of that with the rest of the village that helps to raise you.  But you ultimately are the one who processes what we share with you and then constantly amaze us with your humor, wit and intelligence.  I know that you are thinking that’s what all parents have to say about their kids, but I have to disagree. You really are the best daughter anyone could ever hope for- and you are only THREE. I cannot wait to see what you do with the rest of your life with all of that charm! (that, you get from ME!)

To say that all of us rely on you for our happiness means that you have a mighty big job- one that you are completely oblivious to, yet you perform it so well.  Before you came earth side, I had no idea what being a mom was going to be like. I thought mostly about sleepless nights, diaper duty, cleaning up puke from my work clothes, and trying not to get a headache when you cried incessantly. And that was after the labor and delivery that I was PETRIFIED of.  Wow, could I have been more wrong.  What I didn’t realize was the immense amount of love that I would have for you the second that you were born (I won’t even hold it against you that I didn’t have time for an epidural) and that I would stand in front of a train for you.

 I think that I’ve had more sleepless nights in college and now, but not because of you, just because of life and trying to balance everything.  Diaper duty ended a few months ago- but I have to admit that your Daddy changed way more Huggies than I did however, I don’t miss those days.  (Well, just a little when I had time to gaze into your beautiful copper eyes and tickle your little feet…. Changing time was really a bonding time.  You weren’t a squirmy girl. And in fact, you were very easy going about the state of your diaper.) You didn’t really spit up on my clothes- you were a clean girl; however, I can do without your very trigger-happy gag reflex; I have cleaned up my fair share of toddler ‘spit out’ (as you call it) rather than baby regurg. And you aren’t a crier, never was. Such an easy going, sweet girl. Thank you for giving me a swift kick in the ass and changing my perception of motherhood.  (Your Grandma Linda was right that God wasn’t going to give me more than I can handle…. Well, with you, yes; with all the other shit, not so much!)  Even with labor- it was over so quick…. But, my dear, it isn’t true what they say, I haven’t forgotten the pain of the delivery- that’s another story. But you were worth every single little 45 second increment; and worth the four-year plus wait that it took to have you.

I can write forever and rave about your sweet personality and marvel at the stuff that comes out of your mouth.  It’s totally adorable (that might change in 13 years, but I’ll always have this to look back upon) and entertaining.  I’m not sure how you got to be so smart- you keep us on our toes, but your comprehension also makes our life easier.  On that note, don’t ever be afraid to be an intelligent woman.  Your beauty will get you noticed but your intelligence will help you accomplish whatever you want. Don’t be afraid to be successful.  Today you’re tackling 100-piece Princess puzzles and learning how to count in Spanish; tomorrow it will be quadratic equations and SAT vocabulary.  (Do they still give you 200 points for spelling your name correctly?)

You also love people. People love you.  From Nick at your swim school; your little friends;  to the grocery store clerks, you will dazzle them with your sqwunchy smile. These people right now are nice; not everyone is.  We will teach you how to differentiate between good, honest people and to listen to your intuition if you think someone is icky. I wish that I could shield you from the crap, but I won’t always be able to completely (but not from lack of trying!) but we will teach you how to overcome obstacles and adversity with grace and confidence and how to have a support team around to help you as life won’t always be easy.

Trust me, these past six months- outside of this house- have been hell on earth. Emotionally I am done, but I see you and I am reenergized. You give me hope on what the future holds for us. I love watching you experience things for the first time- a carousel ride, trick-or-treating, fireworks, the petting zoo, a piñata, new food- it’s really cool.  And then you also have gotten to see sadness when your Grandpa Jerry died and Grandma Helen was very, very sick. Everybody cried…. You gave us hugs and kisses and asked us if we felt better.  I’m glad we have been honest about our feelings and shared with you that it’s a part of life and doesn’t have anything to do with you.  You have become so empathetic and caring.  Perhaps not ideal to have to share this much sorrow with a toddler, but it’s real life.  I think it helps you to see that sadness doesn’t last forever and it’s okay to smile behind the tears. Thank you for being our little ball of therapy!

See, I could go on and on about all of the reasons why I love you so much. There are 400 million of them, if not more.  I promise you that will never change- except to grow exponentially more. All I ask is that you be true to yourself, that you are kind and honest, you use your manners and help those less fortunate than you. Daddy and I will in turn protect you as best as we can, provide for you opportunities for you to grow and love you unconditionally.  You may not always ‘like’ us, but know that we will always have your back. (When you don’t like us, it’s time to call in the grandparents….)

I want to close out by simply thanking you for making me a better person.  I feel more, love more, hope more and smile more because of you. 

With All My Love,

Mommy

 

A Blog Identity

LatteLovinMommy (perhaps me?) is suffering from a blog-dentity crisis. Unlike many of the blogs I peruse, I'm just a plain little Mommy-written blog without a specialty topic. I originally started this when I was pregnant and looking for a way to vent or share my experience without feeling like I was boring whomever I was talking to.  I'm a Jill of Many Trades but not a master of anything specific- that's good and bad of course. I could take the time to try to become an expert, but why try and reinvent the wheel when there's so many other blogs out there to capture readers' attention? I'm just me- trying to be the best Mommy I can to my sweet girl while maintaining a certain level of sanity in all the other areas of my life that need attention- work, my business, being a wife, maintaining friendships, being a good steward of our home and money. I'm not a natural-living parent; I love my coupons and saving money, but I'm not about to spend an extra 25 hours on top of my already busy life honing a hobby that others blog so well about already; I'm crafty, but despite my wonderful shelves of raw materials, I can't say that I've broken out the Cricut or beads in a really, really long time, and although mildly funny, I'm not slated for a stand-up show of my own anytime in the near future and thankfully, we are blessed with a healthy family and I don't have to turn to my blog to deal with the pain of having a special needs or angel child. And of course, there's only one toddler- not multiples that make my head spin just thinking about!
    So my point is kind of pointless- I want to have a wonderful blog for devoted followers (all three of you) to read, but I'm not sure where to go from here? Do you take the time to read worthy blogs about nothing in particular other than it's written by the caffeine-driven Mommy of a really cute almost-two-year-old? Is it okay to have a random, diverse blog? I still use this as an outlet and hobby and not a formal 'job;' I fear that it would be even more neglected (sniff, sniff) if I had to work on it and not wanted to. What draws you to a blog?
     I'm going to keep plugging away at my randomness- the writing keeps my mind sharp and is somewhat of a creative outlet until I can actually start MiniLatte's newborn baby book.....
Until Next Time,

Carol

Just One

Uno.
Solo.
Only.
Sole.
Lone.
One. Child.
Yes, only child. That's my daughter. That's also me.....

      The burning question of the year is either WHEN or ARE you having another child. I'm not planning on it. Our daughter is wonderful, sweet, beautiful, kind, gentle, adorable and perfect. Although I'm sure that efforts may be duplicated, but we I'm quite happy with our little family of three. My husband would certainly like one more. I on the other hand, don't. It's actually quite a nosy and personal question; akin to asking someone why they stopped at just two? Unlike Ruffles, I can have just one and for me there are a multitude of reasons- physical, personal and financial to name a few.
      On the phsyical side: because I don't want to go through pregnancy and labor again. Yes, my pregnancy was nearly text-book despite the fact that getting there wasn't. And labor was shorter than half of an average work day, however, I enjoyed neither. It's a complete crap shoot to say whether a second pregnancy would be the same- or worse. I'm thinking that two years later and closer to the big four-oh increases the chances of problems all around.
      I also was not comfortable with a newborn (and the newborn smell that everyone talks about is not the same one that I'm thinking of....). The comfort level obviously grew on me as I was able to do some on-the-job training but again, not wanting to pile more sleepless nights on top of the ones that we already get. (K slept so muchbetter a year ago than she does now- not quite sure why the return to 4 a.m. feedings?!)  And adding juggling the needs of a tiny newborn along with those of a very smart and active toddler in addition to a career and life just scares me. There are days that I feel stretched too thin as it is.
      I'm also not game for another two plus years of diapers. There is light at the end of this tunnel o' Huggies and I'm really looking forward to it. And speaking of Huggies- the expense of day-to-day care is something that we are really considering. According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture's Child Rearing Calculator, and discount the cost of shelter (we've been here years prior to her!) and daycare, it costs us roughly about $15,000 a year to raise little K. That reflects 2009 numbers- I think it's safe to say it might be inflated a bit higher today in 2011, while our salaries aren't. And believe me, I try to save money in as many areas as possible where it doesn't affect health or safety! The calculator says that having a second child would double that; but even on the low side, I would guesstimate perhaps $22,500 for two children. Did I mention college? Even though hubby and I are proud owners of student loans (ha!), I do not want K to have to worry about that- we're stuffing as much 'extra' money into her college savings account (and our retirement funds as well) to plan for the future. 
     While larger families were very common to help with the division of labor years and year ago, the smaller family is becoming quite common when you consider metropolitan living and costs. Our family is normal! But I often hear the reaction that "you shouldn't do that to your child," when I answer the "Are you having another?" question. I shouldn't do what? I shouldn't provide her with as much love and devotion as possible? I shouldn't work hard to provide the best possible life for her and our family in the long run hopefully demonstrating a good life and work ethic? I get the 'sibling bond' argument, but I've seen that go either way-- while my two step-sisters are thick as theives;  a good friend is absolutely not a fan of her brother. And as far as her being lonely, between her Daddy and I and all of her family members, she is not lonely. Additionally, she knows how to independently play and is developing quite the imagination! K plays well with others and knows how to share- something that we are teaching her, not her learning from a sibling.
      If you are really curious as to why just K, I'm happy to tell you that I'd love to concentrate on creating and molding a selfless, talented, kind, gentle, creative, productive little girl; along with having a happy and relaxed Mommy and Daddy to raise her. But please don't make me have to debate with you why our choice is right for us...........

Date Night Makes Me Yearn for Balance

I had a date last night. With the refrigerator. Oh the joys of being a Mommy! Seriously, I felt like I was getting acquainted again with my kitchen today after spending the last month in between vacation, holiday and birthday celebrations, work and family outtings and just being plain too tired or busy. I would say that in the last six weeks, I've probably cooked a home-cooked meal not even a dozen times. Wow.      Fortunately, as a dual-income family, we can eat out (um, IHOP, anyone?) and it doesn't completely kill our budget, but it also doesn't help it. It also doesn't help the diet even though I try to make healthy selections. What bothers me most is the amount of food that I just had to throw into the garbage from cleaning out the fridge. A bag full, and I'm talking trashcan size, not a grocery bag. I'm mad at having to throw money away for no reason other than lack of preparation..... so irritated.
     I really do try to meal plan, but then the best laid plans..... it takes a lot of time to be prepared, and I feel like that is seriously lacking right now. I'd much rather spend those four hours (if that) every evening with my daughter playing, reading or cuddling and not cooking or cleaning. Unfortunately, a maid is not in the budget and reality sets in. I have to find a better balance between all of the domestic things, the work stuff, parenting (like that ever stops) and having extra time to do other activities that I enjoy, or even fit some sleep into the equation. I'm envious of those moms that can balance all kinds of shit with one eye closed and on bedrest; or those that have multiples plus- how do they make it look so easy? By no means am I comparing myself- I'm just coveting perception!
     Fortunately for our household, I'm not in this alone as my wonderful husband puts in his fair share- especially with the laundry (he runs out of underwear first!) but I would really like to get a better grip on the things that I personally handle.... I have a few ideas in mind, so I'm going to do a little 'workstudy' over the next few weeks.... and I'll definately keep you posted, but in the meantime, I'm open to suggestions!

Love, Laughs and Caffeine,
Carol

A Day Worth the Wait

Unlike most little girls my childhood wasn't spent playing with baby-dolls or planning a princess wedding. I was quite the Tom boy. I grew up an only child in a very, very small minuscule community in the Eastern Sierras ripe with lots of outdoorsy things to do. My two male cousins were my closest playmates and I could out-fish the both of them and my pet lizards were often bigger too! I ditched my first day of Kindergarten to go trout fishin' with great gran Hazel; you couldn't keep a pair of shoes on me to save my life and I even herded sheep once. It's pretty safe to say that other than dressing my faithful companion Bootsie up in a dress and wheeling him around in a stroller, I didn't particularly have a natural maternal streak.
     I'm sure that it wasn't a surprise to most of my close friends and family that I wasn't in a rush to become a mother. Someday, but it had to be with the right partner and not just for genetics sake- the PARTNER part of the equation was the kicker.
     Fast forward to my mid-20's when I began dating my husband and 'family talk.' Although he was definitely qualified as what I thought a partner would be, we agreed that a family was in our future just not the immediate one. It was important to have time just for 'us' prior to bringing a child into the relationship and enjoying life together first. And we did- and then building a family was taking more time than we had planned. I was longing to finally discover that materialistic instinct that I skipped over during childhood. I also started to resent Mother's Day (although I did try to compensate by celebrating with my beloved fur-baby and try to get away with not poop-scoopin' for the day... But those were the only presents she ever left for me! (How I miss that dog... Really. Really. Much.) The same went for Baby Showers and all things miniature. Not because I didn't want to be a mom but because getting to that point was so damn difficult.
      Friends and family were lucky to 'accidentally' get pregnant but for us it was so much planning and waiting. Pure joy when we had a positive test only to find that joy usurped by disappointment weeks later with a miscarriage- four times over. Nearly four long years later and after medical intervention and the hardest three hours and 56 minutes of my life, I was finally a Mom.
Today is my second official Mother's Day; I now get to enjoy the day with my family. I am so looking forward to celebrating all of the milestones and memories that I've been blessed with over the last 21 months. My life will undoubtedly never be the same- the dirty diapers, sleep deprivation, bottle washing, sippy cup retrieving, tear wiping and lullaby singing are all honorable tasks for my precious sweet daughter- and of course I wouldn't have it any other way. It was worth the wait......


Happy Mother's Day Fellow Mombloggers- I appreciate you reading and sticking with me!

 Love, Laughs and Caffeine,
Carol

Complete mommy failure yesterday morning....

     I had the occasional pre-work responsibility for Little Miss K- Mr. Anti-Latte usually leaves much earlier than I do and drops her off at Grandma's for the day. The routine works out well- he goes to work earlier than I do and is much more of a morning person efficient than I am in the a.m., especially if I've not had my caffeine! I was nearly ready to get K dressed and on our way and began hunting for a shoe mate and within 10 seconds of turning around, my little daredeviless had sprinted to the stairs... as soon as I realized it and could see her over the half-wall, I also saw her just starting to roll down the stairs. OMG. CRAP. Sh!t…. I hate it when this crap happens on my watch… but it’s easy to understand how. There’s just so many Mommy/ work/ wife things to do/ remember/…. Sometimes it’s amazing that I can even leave the house unscathed myself.
       In the rush of getting ready and trying to remember everything else that needed to be done in five minutes...I just wasn't thinking that the baby gate was down. The good thing about toddlers is that they are incredibly FLEXIBLE- the roll down 12 stairs was about as slow as an unwatchful mommy could hope for (perhaps my fall UP them a few days ago was more painful!?) and a box caught her at the bottom. I don't think I've ever descended those stairs as fast as trying to pick her up to console her and check for any injuries. Fortunately, the only injury was to her pride- not one little bruise or scratch and she even landed still grasping my necklace in her chubby little paw. (K is to necklaces is like squirrels to nuts). And she was distracted by Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on the television and the tears dried.... hers. I somehow maintained my composure- which I think probably resulted in a short lived cry on her part. I've learned quickly that many little ones base their reactions on that of their parents. A little scratch turns into a monumental booboo if the caretaker makes it a huge ordeal.
      K is a really good kid, but she definitely is super energetic and wants to investigate and try everything. Which means that you cannot take your eyes off of her for a second when she's running loose! And as you can see, I did. I'm relieved that she isn't any worse for the wear (maybe developing a measure of respect for the stairs) but this was a good reminder that I need to be overly cautious at all times. And as embarrassed as I am about this, when telling a few close friends they've had similar episodes happen with their healthy, thriving beautiful children of their own.... but I still feel horrible! I think I might assuage it with a bottle glass of wine and some Peep’s…..

Friends: With Kids/ Without Kids- Random Thoughts

While driving into work this morning, I experienced one of those rare occasions where I listened to 'regular radio' as opposed to my XM (love it!) and the morning people from one of the local stations were discussing friends. Particularly having friends of the opposite familial status (childless with parental friends and vice versa) and why it is so difficult to maintain relationships and hang out with them. The discussion got me thinking- even though I turned off the station after they interrupted the debate with a stupid song by Kesha. She bugs me. But I digress....
    I started thinking about my friends that I hang out on a regular basis and came to the conclusion that I don't. Hang out that is, I have lots of friends, but for various reasons. "Hanging out" is just much harder to do when you add motherhood to the other obligations in your life.
    I have 'work' friends. I have longtime friends- near and far- that I can call on anytime day or night to vent, bitch to, complain and can count on in a pinch. And then I have friends who came into my life because I have Little Miss K. I've met them through my local consignment sales that I volunteer for- wouldn't have met them if I was kid-less; same goes with the mom's group that I used to belong to. I have a handful of friends from high school and college, some from my direct sales business and some from random places that we met and struck up a conversation.
    The point is that I shared something in common with each friend at the certain time that we met and fostered a friendship. It may or may not have been because of children, but because of school, work, a hobby or..... whatever.  There was a common denominator in the relationship.  Am I still friends with everyone that I've ever met? Not so much, but not because I have kids. They may or may not, but we've lost touch for a host of random reasons- but I can't think of one friendship that has faded because I have a child. I can however, think of the many more that I have made because of my child.
    At this point in my life I prefer to have low maintenance friends- I've always tried to avoid drama, but even more so now that I don't want to involve Little K in said drama. I also don't have time for bullshit. I also may not have time to talk to you for weeks on end, but that doesn't mean I don't adore you. I work full time, I'm a business owner, I enjoy a small number of hobbies, I'm a wife, I'm a... you get the picture? It's hard enough to find time to have dinner with my dad, get a mani/pedi or to even just sleep, so to go out clubbin' with single, childless friends is just at the bottom of my list. Not the person, but the activity. If you want to come over and have something that resembles dinner with my family, c'mon over we're happy to have you and I may even serve you an overpriced drink in the process (cover charge will be waived).
     Now will I befriend you if you are kid-less? Maybe, maybe not. I'm not judging you but I think it will just be harder for you to understand what my life is like and I, in turn, will always think- 'just wait!' If we have enough in common outside of K, we'll probably be fast friends.  I made the decision to have K, and she is my life- friends or no friends. It's a package deal now, and most activities will be centered around her unless it's a very rare Mommy night out... hopefully! Happy Friday!

Welcome Little Ones!!!

I'd like to welcome my dear friend Kindle to MOMMYHOOD!  We met at work eight years ago and bonded over crackers and a hangover and a little paint mishap.  Although she carted herself across the country for her prince charming, we've stayed good friends across the miles.  She was a great shoulder to lean on during my fertility issues, and I was honored to be in her wedding.  I just knew when I received that exciting call back in March- a premonition if you will,  that she was having twinsies and sure enough: Kindle, and husband Brian welcomed adorable twins yesterday, November 30th.  I have to give her props too: she toughed it out all the way to 40w1d- I would have been waving the red flag a few weeks ago!

Eli is 19.5" long and 6lb8oz and Abby is 18.5" long and 6lb7oz.  Mommy is recovering and recouperating and the little ones are in good health- I hear they are enjoying getting to know one another.  I'm so happy for the new family and Kiera can't wait to teach them so many fun things!  Enjoy it while you can, it goes by so, so fast!

ABBY

ELI

  

Words of Wisdom

As a dear friend awaits the impending arrival of her twins any. day. now.... (she's made it longer than I did- Kiera made a surprise arrival at 37w and she's now at 39w3d- with twins!), we had a nice conversation that included my unbiased advice to a new mom- what words of wisdom did I NOT take to heart and wish that I would have oh, say, 15 months ago?  Well, where to start? First of all- cherish every single day even those when you are elbow deep in poo, haven't had time to shower at 3:45 p.m. and even your fourth shirt was now thrown up on.....  the both of us went through fertility to start our family, we knew what we were getting in to, but there are just 'those' days that you're not quite sure.... and they start once they tell you it's too late for an epidural!  Nothing will ever go quite as planned once you throw a little one into the mix- for planners (yes, that's you KL!) it may be enough to drive you stark raving mad, but that is exactly what you will remember most.  That night that there was nothing that made the baby happy and you had to crawl around on the floor to try to entertain them, digging out all of your safest kitchen utensils for them to use as drum sticks or chew toys.  Oh, wait- that was LAST night!

My first piece of advice is to let people help and tell them what you NEED.  The novelty of a 'new' baby (or babIES) wears off and the offers of help soon will as well.  I wish that I would have gotten just a few more days-hours, of sleep when my mom was staying with us for the few weeks after Kiera arrived.  I was worried that I would miss out on valuable bonding time, but instead, I could have gotten some much needed (and forever fleeting) rest to recover from pregnancy and delivery.   I wanted to prove to her that I would be a good mom right off the bat- rendering her feeling nearly useless and me very tired.  My stubbornness might have been part of what led to my post-partum depression and essentially was counterproductive to the bonding.  A tired, emotional and confused mommy has a hard time bonding with a stuffed animal let alone a new little baby.  So, we all know that you will be a good mom- but give your self a chance to rest- really rest because you have to save up that energy for the next 18-or-so years.....  and if your friends and family really want to help, tell them what you really want- like just an hour to take a hot bath, the floors swept and mopped or bring in a few groceries. 

Next, take lots of pictures- you will be amazed at when you look back- even after just a few months- how much they change and grow.  Jason always teases me about being a 'mamarazzi' but I'm so glad that we have all of these wonderful moments captured on film (and now video).

Also, live in the moment- don't worry about milestones- every baby will progress on their own timeline (if the pregnancy and delivery isn't any clue...) and try not to "can't wait" every one of those milestones away because some day you will look back and long for those days when you could set them on their blanket on the floor and still be there after your quick potty break instead of half-way up the stairs.  Be there for your children.  The laundry and dishes can wait until 2017- you think that you should be getting them done, but trust me, a quick little dance or game of tag is much more important.  It will be hard to fully accept this piece of advice, see above and make sure you have the camera ready....

And speaking of you- take good care of yourself.  The mom (not sayin' that the daddy isn't important) is the hub and needs to think about herself first and foremost to be the very best Mommy possible.  Mentally and physically.  Being a mom is the hardest job I've ever done.  There is no "time off" (even if you take words of wisdom #1), "sick time" or otherwise, however, there is downtime and take advantage of it- to TAKE A NAP! Make sure that there is something that you enjoy on what little "break" time you get.  A clear head makes for more enjoyable parenting.  For sure.  And this goes back to asking- no one can read your mind- let us know how we can help.  It really does take a village.

And those little "ugh" moments- they're far and few between and the first time you see a real smile or hear "mama" makes it so worthwhile.  All that lost sleep; 3:54 minutes of labor; post partum depression; poop patrol- it's also job security and the most priceless form of payment ever.   Enjoy being a mom...........

TGIF- Yes, I am Thankful:

I really wish that I would have really understood what all of my more experienced mom friends meant when they said that it would go by fast.  I had no clue.  Really- one day I'm in labor and the next she's running (not walking) around saying "Haaa-ppeee" and "Up, up" and watching everything that we do like a little hawk to learn, learn, learn.  At nearly 15  months, Kiera is a veritable sponge- for further proof- see below at her saying 'trick or treat'- I only said it a few times..... I'm amazed when I watch her figure out how to do something on her own at the sheer brilliance of such a little person.  It makes me shake my head; it makes me shed a tear and appreciate that we were blessed with an amazing little girl.  I'm so thankful to be Kiera's Mommy.....

Are You Freakin' Insane?

I think its official- I've lost it.  Thinking that I could singlehandedly pull off a First Birthday Party Blowout could've been one of my wackiest ideas ever.  So what's the big deal?  It's just a party. For a One Year Old.  Yes, but we have 65 people coming (only 21 children!)- it's almost as large as our wedding although thankfully not as expensive- yet.  (Just kidding, honey)  And I'm a corporate events planner.  It's a cinch planning a medical conference for 200 people, or an awards luncheon for 700;  however it gets mighty interesting when it's for your own little one and you want everything to be perfect. 

The invites were handmade (I just couldn't seem to find a commercial butterfly-themed one that I liked) and sent weeks ago; it was exciting to get the first non-family RSVP (they really like us!) and then I watched the list grow, and grow.  Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy that there are going to be so many people sharing in such a wonderful occasion for little Kiera.  It means alot to us.  It also means that the house has to be in tip-top shape, digging up enough seating and tables for everyone, and trying to NOT go overboard with the menu or the budget.

We're now at T-minus 31 hours until the big shindig; last night before bed I decided to glance at the "to-do" list one more time and had a coronary that I wasn't going to get it all done.  I popped a few Motrin (should've been a Valium) and decided to get to work- washing baseboards, sweeping- redecorating. REDECORATING???!!!  At 12:30 a.m. my insane twin decided that my house wasn't up to par and decided to re-hang and accessorize and move stuff around.  The list said: "Hang Kiera's Frame" not repaint the candle holders, et cetera.  I did get all of the blinds dusted, the cobwebs down, fixtures dusted though.  It was just accomplished on the Type-A side.

Who does this for a birthday party?  I Googled it and found out that I'm the norm and really NOT insane, just a bit of a Martha when it comes to entertaining.  (Don't worry, I am using disposables, but the all had to match and although it is burgers and 'dogs, I want to make sure they are super tasty.)  So, I'm off to go bake a cake, finish cleaning, wrap presents, get the guest room ready for mom and have a stiff drink.  Kahlua in the latte at 8:30 a.m. isn't frowned upon in some parts of the world........

That's Gonna Leave a Mark....

See the "boo boo" above her eye??

The small one is not yet walking (well, a few little steps here and there, but then she gets this panicked look and sits down...) but holy cow, she is still ever so mobile and faster than  you can imagine.  And of course, she is testing her limits and curious about how everything works.  For example, "Even if I shake it really fast, will the kitty's tail still remain attached;" "How would this little piece of (insert random thing) taste;" "How hard can I patty-cake Mommy's head before she says 'owww'?"  You get the picture.  Keeps Daddy and I on our toes for sure, and of course, she is always so amusing.  The reactions are priceless!

Being mobile and curious also means that there are tears and cuts and bruises to go along with it.  This is a shitty part about being a Mom.... having to remain calm and collected while you are trying to soothe boo-boos and stop the bleeding.  Yep, that's fun.  And seems to come in sets.  (Her first fall from a high object happened on July 4th, followed by a spill off of the couch the next day and not a hour later: bumping her head on the tile floor (she managed to find the very small spot that wasn't covered to touch down at!).  I know I'm not the first nor last parent that it happens to, but talk about making you feel like a horrible parent!  She's no worse for the wear.....  and then this weekend we had actual injuries complete with bleeding. 

Friday night she was crawling around in her room and while trying to use the glider ottoman for support, she fell down and hit her head on the corner.  When I picked her up, there was blood above her left eye;  fortunately it was a very small abrasion but I was worried on how hard she hit and if she was going to get a shiner.  A little infant ibuprofen, a cold pack and lots of kisses must have worked wonders because, the cut is almost healed already and BabyK doesn't hardly remember what happened! (So, I'm so bad: I was secretly hoping that there would be no evidence for her Birthday on Wednesday and of course the big party next weekend!)

This morning she was up at the crack of dawn... of course on a "sleep in" day.  (I know, everyone told me that those no longer existed as a parent of young children, but a girl can hope!) I decided to be nice to Daddy and took her downstairs so that he could go back to sleep and get some rest.  We had such a nice time playing and eating a lovely waffle for breakfast.... you know that it would have to be interrupted by a boo-boo.  Kiera bumped her mouth on an edge of her high chair when she was going to sit down..... I picked her up to comfort her and a few seconds later discovered blood everywhere down the front of me, her face, clothes... "Poor Kiera, what did you do to yourself?"  I couldn't see a wound through the bleeding.  I thought about getting Jason, but decided to just handle it on my own even though a baby writhing in pain and confusion is hard to contain to comfort and 'fix.'  A few minutes later Jason came down to see what all of the commotion was about and helped me to get Kiera calmed down after some mild compression, a little "boo boo" juice and Dusty kitty to coax out a smile.  I'm assuming that she cut her gums on the down-ward fall.  Ugh. 

Both were minor incidents, but make you feel horrible none-the-less.  I'm not squeamish around blood, but the sight of it on your own child makes you feel raw and irresponsible.  Short of padding our home in bubble-wrap, there's not much that we can do to shield Kiera from minor injuries- it's a part of growing up I imagine.  My outward reaction is to remain calm, but I still feel a bit nauseous- probably from the momma-bear endorphins kicking in to help my little cub.  One thing that does make dealing with this easy is to know basic first aid and have readily available a first aid kit stocked with age-appropriate essentials in dealing with accidents and injuries.  I received some of the items as a gift at one of my baby showers and it was a wonderful gift that keeps giving even now.  I just have to go find some fun themed bandagess for it now and perhaps a bottle of rum for mommy....

Fun with Baby Kiera- Food Style and HER First Word

Brain Freeze! Brain Freeze!

The past few days weeks months have just flew on by; each day seems to come to a close much faster than the previous one and I often go to bed at night thinking, "Exactly what did I get accomplished today??!!"  Aside from the 9 to 5, household organization is finally coming to fruition (thank you, thank you flylady.net!), I'm feeling more balanced, and I think I'm getting the hang of this "MOM" thing (it's only taken 350 days plus prego time??? LOL)!  Now if I can finally balance momblogging, viola!  ( :  Well... 4 out of 5 isn't bad, right..... 

I've neglected to take the advice of my dear friend Katie and have not written down the daily events of life with Kiera and have had to glance over my Facebook page to see what we've been up to (and even then, I'm inclined to leave off some details... like her falling twice in one weekend... )  Don't worry, I won't forget- yeah... so, Kindle, dear so-pregnant friend- I know you are reading this (and probably the only one who does!)- please make sure that you note the days' events with your two (yes, two!)  bundles of joy when they finally make their blessed appearances in November- you will get mommybrain and forget the little details that will be important to you later in life!  Looking back it seems like the only thing that we do is eat (posts on donuts: 9 in the last 2 months; posts on pancakes: 5; coffee:  um, decline to state as the price tag might be shocking!; fun pictures of Kiera eating- well, those are PRICELESS and hence, good blogworthy fodder!)

Me likey pasgetti Mommy!

Kiera loves to eat- she gets that from her dad- and has been "mooching" our food for months... a sure sign that she's ready for 'big girl' food!  And the next sign? That her first recognizable "word" was MORE. (07/11/10) Yep, not 'mommy,' but more.  (I'm sure that she's been saying 'dada' for awhile, but it's interchangeable to both of us) However, her use of the word 'more' is clearly an attempt to ask for what ever we are currently eating/ drinking.  It's very comical!  Except for when it is followed by a "Heeeeyyyyy" in a larger-than-life-'outside'-voice inside of a restaurant.  (I'm a huge believer in table manners- but ask me that when she's two!)  On her yumm list so far: pasta (she gets that from me); cauliflower (I know- right?!); french toast; pancakes; crumb donuts (hey- she ate them when she was bakin' in the belly, why not now in limited sample sizes??); eggs; mac-n-cheese; watermelon; bacon; pears; applesauce; carrots; corn; beans; cereal; hamburger.  I'm-so-gonna-get-shit-for half of the stuff on the list so I might as well:  but she also loves soda and ice cream too, and certainly didn't make a yucky-face at Mommy's frappacino.  (Yep, peoples, I'm dosin' her up with massive amounts of sugar and caffeine, call CPS on me...). 

Mmm... Popsicle. (07/04/10)

We basically let her try our suitable food... and she's lovin' it; the downfall is that she wants NOTHING to do with the store-bought baby food now (read: save money!).  The added benefit to Kiera's dinner time, is that Jason and I actually sit at the table to eat now; previously it was just another unused flat surface!  Dinner time is family time and definitely chock full of entertainment value- those faces are priceless.  And to watch her contemplate whether she likes a new texture/ taste or not is also quite amusing.  There have been quite a few 'lemon- faces' too, and now when she doesn't like something, she sticks her tongue out until you wipe it off.  (Not spitting it out yet- thank goodness!)   I love watching her pick up the pieces and put them in her mouth; she then uses the side of her hand to ensure it's completely in her mouth and give her six little teeth a workout.

No honey, that's not an edible bowl!

The family dog is also beginning to love her- rather her leftovers- the ratio of ingested food to what winds up on her, in the high chair or on the floor is about 1:4.  A tasty puppy treat indeed.  Clean-up is always an adventure as well- shake the baby off over the sink and wrestle with her to clean hands and face!  Fun times.  Amazing- before I used to love to catch a movie or dinner with friends, and now I treasure feeding time with the little one.... ahhh.. mommyhood!

One of her first "finger food" experiences.. pureed carrots!

Nature.... Nurture.... Bad Genetics?

I'm a small town girl turned coupon-clippin', bargain shopping, latte-sippin' yuppie; what I would call the best of both worlds.  Although I grew up in a blink-and-you-miss-it California town that didn't have much diversity, I 'summered' with my dad in Sacramento and was able to experience other cultures.  I wasn't sheltered, just was fortunate to live in small town where we didn't lock our doors at night or some even left their keys in the vehicle ignitions.  That changed when I was preparing to move for college:  I came over to do my matriculation and was going to meet dad for lunch.  I somehow got on the wrong freeway and while sitting at a gas station trying to get my bearings, I was mugged.  In broad daylight.  At knifepoint.  The creep didn't get more than $20, but also took my 'new' ring- a family heirloom that was a graduation present.  It was a horrible experience, however, I've never gotten lost since (and that was pre-GPS, peoples!) and it certainly heightend my sense about trusting anyone.   I still prefer to think that 80% of the population is generally good; but now that I'm a Mommy, it's much harder for me to grant people the benefit of the doubt.  I have my family to think about and I have no qualms about being critical now.  Had I really paid attention to my prickling hair when the mugger was approaching my car, I would have rolled up my window and possibly not have gotten mugged.  Perhaps.  I pay attention to the bat senses much more now. 

And I also have started to pay attention to things that, in the past, I would have waived off pre-Kiera.  I've always been a pretty open-minded liberal individual; just now I wonder what happened to the other 20% of the population that either makes a public spectacle of themselves or are plainly just bad individuals.  What sets them off?  Experiencing a bad childhood?  Bad parenting?  Bad role models?  Or just bad genetics?  And how do I sit down with my sweet little girl in five years and try to explain to her that sometimes the world just sucks? 

How do I show her that the train-wreck that is Lindsay Lohan will not ever be cool or a good role model- can you believe that she is the same cute little girl from Parent Trap?  I shudder to think where her train derailed; in this case I'm assuming that it was from irresponsible parenting and more concern about their gravy train rather than raising a normal child.  Ugh.  At least I have a very good basis for how I do NOT want my child to turn out. 

I could go on with other celebrities: Britney Spears, once a hot mess (but not as bad as Lohan IMO); struck gold at a young age and was forced to grow up too fast.  Her dad seems to have it dialed in, but Brit created her own Circus, hit rock bottom and has made an impressive comeback; thanks in part to good parenting. 

And although I like this teenager's dad since his "Achy Breaky" days, little Miley Cyrus needs a serious spanking.   I came across her live performance on Dancing with the Stars while channel surfing and had that united parental thought, "if that were my daughter..."  In full disclosure, I have to admit that I like the song but not the outfit and performance by the 17-year old....  I hope that Billy Ray tries to at least remember that she could be a good role model as long as they keep her 'tamed' until she's older- and no, not just 18; into her 20's.... now Beyonce (and even Justin Timberlake... every time I hear that song I think of the SNL parody and laugh) rocked the black onesie, but Miley.... not so much, it seemed like a little girl trying to be an adult too fast.

See what I mean?  I probably wouldn't have thought twice about something like this before I became a mom, it's just now....... hmmm.  Seriously. I'm not even really judgemental or catty; I just want to have a good environment and positive, normal role models for baby girl to experience.  Like Taylor Swift.... or even Drew Barrymore- a childhood star that started on the left path, but straightened her life out and rocks it now.  Although it sucks that I even have to show her good egg and bad egg analogies and teach her about stranger danger, it is my job as a parent.... I hoped and prayed and chose to have her and must be diligent in my lifelong job of raising a good person, a positive role model and productive citizen.... nature- nurture- genetics- whatever- with good parenting, it should all turn out good in the end.

Transmission is No Longer Stuck in Reverse!

It's been so interesting watching Kiera explore her new world; I can only imagine what every day must be filled like when you are constantly experiencing something new..... I know that most of us can only handle so much change and then we are like, "STOOOP!" Babies, on the otherhand are like, "Bring it on!"  Can you remember the last time that you were so very interested in something as simple as a straw (thank you, thank you.... it's occupied her attention a couple of times in a restaurant or the car- how long until it loses it's luster!)  I'm trying to make sure that I take the time to actually observe the little one's reactions to daily life- not necessarily that it will make blog fodder, but because it surely is a hell of alot more entertaining than 90% of television.... especially now that my Law & Order and Trauma were cancelled... (I am a rare person to have not watched Lost, Glee, or any of the vampire crap.... ever)

 I digress.  I have something much more interesting for you to watch anyways.

I was so very fortunate to have been able to actually find my camera when an important moment came along, and although these weren't the very first little 'steps,' I did catch her first attempt at crawling within seconds.... last week she learned how to bring herself to a sitting position; now she will be roaming around the house.... oh crap!  Mommy was promised a flipcam for Mother's Day- that shall be an order of business over this nice holiday weekend.   

Enjoy the compilation! 

All I Need is a Lemonade and a Rocking Chair.....

I'm sitting here with the Lakers/ Kings basketball game playing in the background (and despite being a King's fan...hoping secretly that the Laker's actually win so that I don't have to hear my dear husband curse up a blue streak....) also doing one of my new favorite past times: Kiera- watching.  She has noticably gone through a huge developmental stage since February.  At about six months, within just a week she was holding her own bottle and discovering that she could play 'bongo' on every surface imaginable and even sit up unsupported and quite wobbly!  Now, at nearly eight months, she is even more fun to play with- one of her new favorite things is to roll around.. all over.  From front to back, back to front and even left and right, she rolls around all over the place (note to self: get the carpets cleaned and fast!) exploring things that she encounters in her small little world- like spots on the carpet or the many toys that we place around her.    And she's fast.... like a little Tasmanian devil rolling all over the place.  Her first few attempts to roll over unaided were a slow and frustrating process; but once she figured out to fling the arm up she's now a champion flipper!  She has also found her voice within just the last week and obviously has something to say!

I love to listen to her tell us all about her day in her gravelly baby voice,  'dadaaa daaaaa da'  she says and looks up so proud.  Of course we know that she is telling us about her fantastic day at either Nanny Barbara's or Gwamma's.... and we pretend that we completely understand.  I'm thoroughly entranced by watching life thorugh my daughter's eyes.  I love to watch her get so excited when she sees one of us for the first time in the evening; or how her BFF- Gyaffgyaff pacifies her; how she makes a funny face at the first bite of her solid foods or the wide-eyed wonder of watching Dusty cat stroll on by.  The simple things... pure innocence.  I hope that she gets to stay that way for a long time- innocent, happy, gentle and sweet.  I also hope that I can protect her from the big, bad world out there and that she keeps happily rolling through her day.........

An Open Letter to Our Daughter: Welcome to Half a Year!

Dear Kiera Mckenzie;

    You, my heart, are already six months old…. You’ve blessed our lives for a whole 26 weeks now- it feels like so long ago, yet just like yesterday that you decided to ‘pop’ into our lives. I do know that I can’t imagine NOT having you in my life; or how I, we, ever existed without you.
    You were Mommy and Daddy’s dream for so long; we endured five years of hoping, trying and heartbreak before we found out about you and then for the next 37 weeks we could hardly contain our excitement. We wondered what you would look like (Daddy was hoping for a little red-haired angel; I was just hoping for hair, period- not bald as an eagle like Mommy was, but a cute little curly red-head, blue eyed doll would have been my order), prayed that you would be healthy and strong; how you’ve exceeded- already- all of our wonder, prayers and expectations.
     When they first meet you, everyone remarks how adorable you are; we are the first to agree although we are certainly biased. With big blue-gray eyes framed by long wispy eyelashes; chubby, rosy little cheeks; a cute little button nose and a 5,000 watt smile that lights up any room and melts any heart, you, my sweet girl, makes anyone fall in love with you at first site. But that’s just the beginning- as you will soon find out that looks aren’t everything (but they do help!)- you are ‘the total package.’

     You are a very happy, content little baby and have the sweetest disposition. You have just three cries- one when you are hungry and nothing else will do; one when you are fighting going nite-nite; and then the third is the one that breaks my heart- when something is really, really wrong. We’ve only heard that a handful of times so far, but that’s been enough (remember your three-month shots? Probably not, but we sure do!) So when you aren’t hungry or tired, you are my smiley-bug. And how that smile after a long day of work just makes everything I do for you count. It also makes me want to hold you tight and never let you go. When we do hold you close, you like to give us slobbery but welcomed and cherished kisses. And then you look at us and smile because you are so proud of giving loves! You are just learning how to give hugs, and until then, we’ll take the kisses.
     We’ve only been away from you for one night since you were born- we left you in Grandma K’s very capable hands while we had an overnight escape to Reno. We missed you to pieces while we were gone and thought about you every second! In fact, Mommy is having the hardest time letting you sleep in your big girl crib- you do fine- she doesn’t. I promise that by the time that you are 16; you will be very comfy in your own room!

     We’ve watched you sprout like a little weed right before our eyes- you’re a healthy growing girl- you’re now over 17 pounds and 26” long- but Mommy is in denial that you no longer fit into those petite little NB clothes. Although you haven’t really mastered rolling over yet (tummy time is too stressful!) you are nearly sitting up on your own unaided. You held your bottle all by yourself just the other day, and you smiled so proud- Mommy was proud too. You’ve also been enjoying big-girl cereal and food for a few weeks; almost as much as we enjoy watching you eat it. You sit in your Bumbo anxiously awaiting the yummy delights that we are going to spoon into your little mouth. Your first food was sweet potatoes and you weren’t too sure, but then loved it. That was followed by carrots, green beans, peas, prunes and apple sauce. You aren’t very fond of the peas (can’t blame you there!) but you love the prunes and apple sauce. When you know it’s dinner time, you chatter, chatter and then nearly knock the spoon and bowl out of our hands because you can’t wait to see what is in store for your tummy! Such a big girl!

      There are very few things that you dislike- one of them is getting cleaned up after above said big girl food and the other is well, despite a closet packed to the gills with every darling outfit imaginable, just getting dressed is your worst nightmare. You are our resident nudist and love to show off your baby-supermodel physique. If you are grumpy and we let you play on a fuzzy mat in your birfday suit, you are sooooo happy. It’s magic! You also work up quite the appetite kicking and playing. Speaking of kicking, you love taking a bath, especially if it is in the big yellow duck. The first time we put you in it, you kicked up a little tidal wave and all of the water was on Daddy and the floor. It was fun for us all- we took video to prove it.. and someday we’ll even show your boyfriends! ( :
    It’s no surprise that you have a toy box that rivals current inventory at ToysRUs, however we’ve been careful to not overwhelm you with too many. You seem to especially like the ones that have smiles as big as your own. Your most fave so far is Jaff Jaff- the colorful giraffe that smiles at you even as you put the death squeeze around his neck and chew on his ear. He doesn’t mind, he’ll always keep you company and tell you good jokes. As for jokes, your ladybug friend on your bouncy chair must tell you the best jokes because you have been smiling at her for weeks and weeks. We figure that you two have shared some good stories during Waggoner-spa time (that’s when we put you in the bathroom to steam you if you’re congested- you also like the sound of the water- that was a secret trick that Mommy figured out about two weeks into life with Baby Kiera). And despite Mommy’s best attempt at trying to get you to love her favorite Eeyore, you LOVE Winnie the Pooh. Perhaps its his bald little head that sort of matches Grampa’s or that nose that you like to chew on, I mean kiss. We often prop you up on the bed with various Winnie’s and watch you hold a press conference with them and they are certainly entertained by all that you have to tell them; you are already so wise beyond your short six months. (Is it the Judge Judy, Law and Order or football that makes you so?)

     You have quite the fan club already: several sets of grandparents, all of whom claim to love you the ‘most;’ your Aunties (aka: all of Mommy’s friends); your Nanny-Auntie Barbara, and even Daddy’s bachelor friend, Todd, thinks you’re pretty cool. We haven’t met a soul yet who doesn’t marvel over our little miracle. And as for Mommy and Daddy, we love you with every fiber of our beings- you are the pride and joy of our little family. Everyone fights for your attention, and we’re so happy that you’re so popular (yes, your social life is so much busier than ours already!) We are honored to have you in our life and happy to share you with anyone that loves you- meaning pretty much anyone who is lucky enough to meet you!
    You are our partner in crime and we love to include you in all of our adventures- from ordinary trips to the grocery store or Saturday morning ‘treasure’ hunting to feeding the ducks and family road trips. You happily go along for the ride watching with wonder from your comfy car seat the world outside. We can’t imagine not having you there with us (ask Mommy about the time that she wanted to sneak you up to Reno…) and are so excited to expand your horizons with whatever other adventures life has in store for us.
   We will always be here for you- we’ll always love you and support you. I know that you will grow up to be something special- you will change your little part of the world (heck, at just six months, you’ve already done that!). You will be successful at whatever it is that you want to do- be a mom, cure the world as a doctor, make Grandma H proud and race cars, run a Fortune 500 company- or maybe even the country! Do whatever makes you happy. All that we ask is just that you are always kind, fair, and empathetic and forgiving; let your self be a kid, laugh loudly and often and don’t forget to be fun-loving and lastly it’s important that you are always true to yourself. We love you sweet little girl.


Love and Kisses,


Mommy and Daddy