So, I Got a New "Job"......

Today is day three of my new job. Like most employees experience at their first week of work, it’s hard to decide what to wear, it’s anxiety-ridden, stressful and I don’t really get to talk to my boss or co-workers until the end of the day. My new job, for the time being, is Stay-at-Home Mom (SAHM).
      If you do the math, the time on “the job” might not be adding up; after all MiniMe is actually 3-1/2. It’s just that last Friday was the final day at a job that I’ve held for a quarter of my life. I started there just a few days after graduating from college and have worked there for the past 11 years; and now here I am. This change wasn’t a decision that I made on my own, I’ve joined the ranks of many Americans who have been downsized- my position was eliminated.
      I am terribly sad about that chapter of my life ending. When you hear people talk about loving their jobs, well, I was one of them. I mean I really, really, really LOVED my job, it was a huge part of who I was. I put every ounce of effort into it and my reward was…. Well, this and it truly is bittersweet.
Before I actually had MiniMe, we didn’t even discuss me staying home with her- I wanted to work, in fact I needed to work- not just for the money, but for the self-fulfillment and personal enrichment. I felt like a well-rounded person working AND being a mom (yet, I always tried to find better work/life balance- go figure?!!!?) We also were blessed that our arrangements for daycare were not only free, but with Anti-Latte’s mom, so Mini was in the loving care of her grandma every day. And this, is why I didn’t feel guilty for working- well, once or twice when she was sick… but how lucky were we?
      She will still spend many days at her grandma’s house for several reasons- she gets to see her cousins every other day, I still have some other commitments that will necessitate daycare as well as the fact that Grandma K is a recent widow and MiniMe is a great diversion and excellent therapy. I also don’t want to completely interrupt her schedule should I be fortunate enough to find my next wonderful job sooner rather than later. Also, we will be enrolling her into pre-school this Spring. Yeah, you’re thinking, “She’s not a real SAHM.” You’re right; I have no clue what I am. I’m stuck in emotional limbo of being completely devastated about being laid off to feeling some excitement to getting to spend more time with my family. How cool is it that for the first time since I was 12, I don’t have a work commitment? How sad is it that I don’t have a work commitment? How awesome is it that I can stay at home with my child? How freaked out am I about staying home with my child? Will I get bored? Will we all still like each other at the end of the day? (Oh, c’mon- you’ve experienced those weekends where you couldn’t wait to get back to the office!) What will I wear? No, seriously. I walked into my closet over the weekend and broke into hysterics upon seeing my work wardrobe. I think I have more pajamas than I do casual clothes (and I refuse to venture out of the house, on purpose, in my pajamas). So, I wore yoga pants, and went to the gym twice in the past two days-- this coming from someone who only set foot in the gym twice all of last year. It’s something that I CAN control at this point so I’m relishing it.
      The loss of a job feels like a death- and I’ve gone through most of the stages of grieving over it, not in order and I'm sure I'm not done with it. It is extremely personal. A part of me is gone now and I’m not sure what to do. I’ve started with a very lofty to-do list- things that I’ve always wanted to get ‘around to,’ organizing the CD collection (seriously- I want them all on iTunes so I can pitch the clutter), watching 68 64 episodes of “The Closer” on my DVR; you know, really important things.
        I’ve done most of the work to get ahead of this- my resume is so polished (so explain, why isn’t anyone calling!?) as is my LinkedIn profile, I’ve already applied for unemployment insurance (this will be interesting!) and I’m starting to network. I very much want to take my wonderful husband’s advice and try to enjoy this time, it’s just weird. Not having to go in to an office on any given week day. That’s one thing on my list though- organizing my office- creating an organized nice one to ‘commute’ to when I’m job hunting or working on my direct sales business (who knows! That’s a great focus point too- did you know that there are many women in this country who make six figures work in direct sales?- watch me!) There will be good days- those packed with enough errands and appointments to keep me busy; and then those days where the thought of my ‘former’ life will bring me to instant tears. Many benefits of being out of work- less money for gas or lunches on the go, dealing with commuter traffic, dry cleaning bills, great coffee from my Keurig; and then the downfall- my boss is super demanding- but when she throws those grubby little hands around my neck and says, “I love you Mommy!” it brings me back to reality and I take a deep breath and think that this might be the best job ever.

Complete mommy failure yesterday morning....

     I had the occasional pre-work responsibility for Little Miss K- Mr. Anti-Latte usually leaves much earlier than I do and drops her off at Grandma's for the day. The routine works out well- he goes to work earlier than I do and is much more of a morning person efficient than I am in the a.m., especially if I've not had my caffeine! I was nearly ready to get K dressed and on our way and began hunting for a shoe mate and within 10 seconds of turning around, my little daredeviless had sprinted to the stairs... as soon as I realized it and could see her over the half-wall, I also saw her just starting to roll down the stairs. OMG. CRAP. Sh!t…. I hate it when this crap happens on my watch… but it’s easy to understand how. There’s just so many Mommy/ work/ wife things to do/ remember/…. Sometimes it’s amazing that I can even leave the house unscathed myself.
       In the rush of getting ready and trying to remember everything else that needed to be done in five minutes...I just wasn't thinking that the baby gate was down. The good thing about toddlers is that they are incredibly FLEXIBLE- the roll down 12 stairs was about as slow as an unwatchful mommy could hope for (perhaps my fall UP them a few days ago was more painful!?) and a box caught her at the bottom. I don't think I've ever descended those stairs as fast as trying to pick her up to console her and check for any injuries. Fortunately, the only injury was to her pride- not one little bruise or scratch and she even landed still grasping my necklace in her chubby little paw. (K is to necklaces is like squirrels to nuts). And she was distracted by Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on the television and the tears dried.... hers. I somehow maintained my composure- which I think probably resulted in a short lived cry on her part. I've learned quickly that many little ones base their reactions on that of their parents. A little scratch turns into a monumental booboo if the caretaker makes it a huge ordeal.
      K is a really good kid, but she definitely is super energetic and wants to investigate and try everything. Which means that you cannot take your eyes off of her for a second when she's running loose! And as you can see, I did. I'm relieved that she isn't any worse for the wear (maybe developing a measure of respect for the stairs) but this was a good reminder that I need to be overly cautious at all times. And as embarrassed as I am about this, when telling a few close friends they've had similar episodes happen with their healthy, thriving beautiful children of their own.... but I still feel horrible! I think I might assuage it with a bottle glass of wine and some Peep’s…..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY SWEET, SWEET GIRL!

I can’t believe that it has been 365 days since you were born- from the first tentative days that we spent together getting to know each other to today where I cannot imagine my life without you in it , each has been a blessing. Your Daddy and I had to work so hard to have you and every second of that emotional journey was worth it a hundred times over.


You have brought so much joy to our lives! Each day you wake us up with an infectious, sleepy little smile and in essence changing Mommy into a morning person (sortof!) We never know what the day will have in store, but as long as you are our little ‘partner in crime,’ it doesn’t really matter because you make us laugh and smile and allow us to view the world from your little viewpoint- full of wonder and delight. And we’ll continue to do our jobs as parents to protect you so that you can experience being a child for as long as you want!


This past year has been such an amazing time; just yesterday I went through hundreds of digital pictures of your life to pick out my favorites (impossible, by the way!) and was in awe of how quickly you’ve developed into an awesome little person. My heart swells with pride just thinking of you and the accomplishments that you are going to make in your life; right now it’s going to be mastering the ‘walking’ thing, but hey, that’s overrated, so you go on crawling with your bad little self! You have though mastered the usual baby-development stages: holding your head up (7 weeks); sitting up (3 months) holding your own ba-ba (6 months); rolling over (also 6 months- you took a bit of encouraging on that one!); crawling (8 months); first word- although it’s pretty much been your ‘only’ word (10 months) and charming the socks off of anyone (Day 1). You are a smart cookie- it didn’t take you long to learn patty-cake or that your little sqwunchy smile would get you whatever you wanted. And cute? Check, check.

I could go on forever and ever about you…. It’s easy to do. But the point of this is to tell you that we love you so, so much. I could have never dreamed how you would change my life for the better. Being a Mommy is the best job in the whole world. I’m so in love with you and your little spirit. You are amazing. Thank you for letting me be your mom. Happy First Birthday sweetheart. I’m looking forward to spending so many more with you.

NOTE: Kiera's Bday was actually August 18th, and her party was the 22nd.... with all of the preparations and family in town- this has been sitting in "draft" mode but I had to post for prosperity's sake......  you know, fellow Mommies, what it's like!!!! LOL

Are You Freakin' Insane?

I think its official- I've lost it.  Thinking that I could singlehandedly pull off a First Birthday Party Blowout could've been one of my wackiest ideas ever.  So what's the big deal?  It's just a party. For a One Year Old.  Yes, but we have 65 people coming (only 21 children!)- it's almost as large as our wedding although thankfully not as expensive- yet.  (Just kidding, honey)  And I'm a corporate events planner.  It's a cinch planning a medical conference for 200 people, or an awards luncheon for 700;  however it gets mighty interesting when it's for your own little one and you want everything to be perfect. 

The invites were handmade (I just couldn't seem to find a commercial butterfly-themed one that I liked) and sent weeks ago; it was exciting to get the first non-family RSVP (they really like us!) and then I watched the list grow, and grow.  Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy that there are going to be so many people sharing in such a wonderful occasion for little Kiera.  It means alot to us.  It also means that the house has to be in tip-top shape, digging up enough seating and tables for everyone, and trying to NOT go overboard with the menu or the budget.

We're now at T-minus 31 hours until the big shindig; last night before bed I decided to glance at the "to-do" list one more time and had a coronary that I wasn't going to get it all done.  I popped a few Motrin (should've been a Valium) and decided to get to work- washing baseboards, sweeping- redecorating. REDECORATING???!!!  At 12:30 a.m. my insane twin decided that my house wasn't up to par and decided to re-hang and accessorize and move stuff around.  The list said: "Hang Kiera's Frame" not repaint the candle holders, et cetera.  I did get all of the blinds dusted, the cobwebs down, fixtures dusted though.  It was just accomplished on the Type-A side.

Who does this for a birthday party?  I Googled it and found out that I'm the norm and really NOT insane, just a bit of a Martha when it comes to entertaining.  (Don't worry, I am using disposables, but the all had to match and although it is burgers and 'dogs, I want to make sure they are super tasty.)  So, I'm off to go bake a cake, finish cleaning, wrap presents, get the guest room ready for mom and have a stiff drink.  Kahlua in the latte at 8:30 a.m. isn't frowned upon in some parts of the world........

That's Gonna Leave a Mark....

See the "boo boo" above her eye??

The small one is not yet walking (well, a few little steps here and there, but then she gets this panicked look and sits down...) but holy cow, she is still ever so mobile and faster than  you can imagine.  And of course, she is testing her limits and curious about how everything works.  For example, "Even if I shake it really fast, will the kitty's tail still remain attached;" "How would this little piece of (insert random thing) taste;" "How hard can I patty-cake Mommy's head before she says 'owww'?"  You get the picture.  Keeps Daddy and I on our toes for sure, and of course, she is always so amusing.  The reactions are priceless!

Being mobile and curious also means that there are tears and cuts and bruises to go along with it.  This is a shitty part about being a Mom.... having to remain calm and collected while you are trying to soothe boo-boos and stop the bleeding.  Yep, that's fun.  And seems to come in sets.  (Her first fall from a high object happened on July 4th, followed by a spill off of the couch the next day and not a hour later: bumping her head on the tile floor (she managed to find the very small spot that wasn't covered to touch down at!).  I know I'm not the first nor last parent that it happens to, but talk about making you feel like a horrible parent!  She's no worse for the wear.....  and then this weekend we had actual injuries complete with bleeding. 

Friday night she was crawling around in her room and while trying to use the glider ottoman for support, she fell down and hit her head on the corner.  When I picked her up, there was blood above her left eye;  fortunately it was a very small abrasion but I was worried on how hard she hit and if she was going to get a shiner.  A little infant ibuprofen, a cold pack and lots of kisses must have worked wonders because, the cut is almost healed already and BabyK doesn't hardly remember what happened! (So, I'm so bad: I was secretly hoping that there would be no evidence for her Birthday on Wednesday and of course the big party next weekend!)

This morning she was up at the crack of dawn... of course on a "sleep in" day.  (I know, everyone told me that those no longer existed as a parent of young children, but a girl can hope!) I decided to be nice to Daddy and took her downstairs so that he could go back to sleep and get some rest.  We had such a nice time playing and eating a lovely waffle for breakfast.... you know that it would have to be interrupted by a boo-boo.  Kiera bumped her mouth on an edge of her high chair when she was going to sit down..... I picked her up to comfort her and a few seconds later discovered blood everywhere down the front of me, her face, clothes... "Poor Kiera, what did you do to yourself?"  I couldn't see a wound through the bleeding.  I thought about getting Jason, but decided to just handle it on my own even though a baby writhing in pain and confusion is hard to contain to comfort and 'fix.'  A few minutes later Jason came down to see what all of the commotion was about and helped me to get Kiera calmed down after some mild compression, a little "boo boo" juice and Dusty kitty to coax out a smile.  I'm assuming that she cut her gums on the down-ward fall.  Ugh. 

Both were minor incidents, but make you feel horrible none-the-less.  I'm not squeamish around blood, but the sight of it on your own child makes you feel raw and irresponsible.  Short of padding our home in bubble-wrap, there's not much that we can do to shield Kiera from minor injuries- it's a part of growing up I imagine.  My outward reaction is to remain calm, but I still feel a bit nauseous- probably from the momma-bear endorphins kicking in to help my little cub.  One thing that does make dealing with this easy is to know basic first aid and have readily available a first aid kit stocked with age-appropriate essentials in dealing with accidents and injuries.  I received some of the items as a gift at one of my baby showers and it was a wonderful gift that keeps giving even now.  I just have to go find some fun themed bandagess for it now and perhaps a bottle of rum for mommy....

Fun with Baby Kiera- Food Style and HER First Word

Brain Freeze! Brain Freeze!

The past few days weeks months have just flew on by; each day seems to come to a close much faster than the previous one and I often go to bed at night thinking, "Exactly what did I get accomplished today??!!"  Aside from the 9 to 5, household organization is finally coming to fruition (thank you, thank you flylady.net!), I'm feeling more balanced, and I think I'm getting the hang of this "MOM" thing (it's only taken 350 days plus prego time??? LOL)!  Now if I can finally balance momblogging, viola!  ( :  Well... 4 out of 5 isn't bad, right..... 

I've neglected to take the advice of my dear friend Katie and have not written down the daily events of life with Kiera and have had to glance over my Facebook page to see what we've been up to (and even then, I'm inclined to leave off some details... like her falling twice in one weekend... )  Don't worry, I won't forget- yeah... so, Kindle, dear so-pregnant friend- I know you are reading this (and probably the only one who does!)- please make sure that you note the days' events with your two (yes, two!)  bundles of joy when they finally make their blessed appearances in November- you will get mommybrain and forget the little details that will be important to you later in life!  Looking back it seems like the only thing that we do is eat (posts on donuts: 9 in the last 2 months; posts on pancakes: 5; coffee:  um, decline to state as the price tag might be shocking!; fun pictures of Kiera eating- well, those are PRICELESS and hence, good blogworthy fodder!)

Me likey pasgetti Mommy!

Kiera loves to eat- she gets that from her dad- and has been "mooching" our food for months... a sure sign that she's ready for 'big girl' food!  And the next sign? That her first recognizable "word" was MORE. (07/11/10) Yep, not 'mommy,' but more.  (I'm sure that she's been saying 'dada' for awhile, but it's interchangeable to both of us) However, her use of the word 'more' is clearly an attempt to ask for what ever we are currently eating/ drinking.  It's very comical!  Except for when it is followed by a "Heeeeyyyyy" in a larger-than-life-'outside'-voice inside of a restaurant.  (I'm a huge believer in table manners- but ask me that when she's two!)  On her yumm list so far: pasta (she gets that from me); cauliflower (I know- right?!); french toast; pancakes; crumb donuts (hey- she ate them when she was bakin' in the belly, why not now in limited sample sizes??); eggs; mac-n-cheese; watermelon; bacon; pears; applesauce; carrots; corn; beans; cereal; hamburger.  I'm-so-gonna-get-shit-for half of the stuff on the list so I might as well:  but she also loves soda and ice cream too, and certainly didn't make a yucky-face at Mommy's frappacino.  (Yep, peoples, I'm dosin' her up with massive amounts of sugar and caffeine, call CPS on me...). 

Mmm... Popsicle. (07/04/10)

We basically let her try our suitable food... and she's lovin' it; the downfall is that she wants NOTHING to do with the store-bought baby food now (read: save money!).  The added benefit to Kiera's dinner time, is that Jason and I actually sit at the table to eat now; previously it was just another unused flat surface!  Dinner time is family time and definitely chock full of entertainment value- those faces are priceless.  And to watch her contemplate whether she likes a new texture/ taste or not is also quite amusing.  There have been quite a few 'lemon- faces' too, and now when she doesn't like something, she sticks her tongue out until you wipe it off.  (Not spitting it out yet- thank goodness!)   I love watching her pick up the pieces and put them in her mouth; she then uses the side of her hand to ensure it's completely in her mouth and give her six little teeth a workout.

No honey, that's not an edible bowl!

The family dog is also beginning to love her- rather her leftovers- the ratio of ingested food to what winds up on her, in the high chair or on the floor is about 1:4.  A tasty puppy treat indeed.  Clean-up is always an adventure as well- shake the baby off over the sink and wrestle with her to clean hands and face!  Fun times.  Amazing- before I used to love to catch a movie or dinner with friends, and now I treasure feeding time with the little one.... ahhh.. mommyhood!

One of her first "finger food" experiences.. pureed carrots!

BabyK is on the Move.....

Just yesterday... well, actually 18 short days ago.... the little one started exploring her world at knee level.  What started out as a "stiff-armed inch-worm action" is now full blown speed-crawling!  She's a fast little girl.  It's so exciting, yet at the same time so sad- Jason and I are forced to acknowledge the fact that she is growing up so very quickly.  First, is was holding her own bottle and now it's a one-handed hand-pass thing.... and even standing- yep, I said standing.  Mommy made the mistake of showing her how to stand by propping her up against one of her toys last Wednesday, and now she is doing her best to stand with the limited furniture that we have for her to push herself up on.... which means that the stairs are now her favorite 'toy.'  As is he cat.... and I have video to prove it.  (Thank you to both my honey's for the new FlipCam for Mother's Day.... we finally picked one out and here is the debut video...... enjoy!)

Transmission is No Longer Stuck in Reverse!

It's been so interesting watching Kiera explore her new world; I can only imagine what every day must be filled like when you are constantly experiencing something new..... I know that most of us can only handle so much change and then we are like, "STOOOP!" Babies, on the otherhand are like, "Bring it on!"  Can you remember the last time that you were so very interested in something as simple as a straw (thank you, thank you.... it's occupied her attention a couple of times in a restaurant or the car- how long until it loses it's luster!)  I'm trying to make sure that I take the time to actually observe the little one's reactions to daily life- not necessarily that it will make blog fodder, but because it surely is a hell of alot more entertaining than 90% of television.... especially now that my Law & Order and Trauma were cancelled... (I am a rare person to have not watched Lost, Glee, or any of the vampire crap.... ever)

 I digress.  I have something much more interesting for you to watch anyways.

I was so very fortunate to have been able to actually find my camera when an important moment came along, and although these weren't the very first little 'steps,' I did catch her first attempt at crawling within seconds.... last week she learned how to bring herself to a sitting position; now she will be roaming around the house.... oh crap!  Mommy was promised a flipcam for Mother's Day- that shall be an order of business over this nice holiday weekend.   

Enjoy the compilation! 

Growing Like a Little Weed

It's been nine months since our little girl has blessed our lives- everyday has been a mixture of joy, fear (of the unknown, of what am I doing wrong, of what if's period...), learning, laughs and most of all love.  It's funny that when you have dreams of having a family that you seem to imagine the larger milestones like walking, the first day of school, a first date, etc. and not so much everyday life with your new little person.  I know that my heart will swell with pride when we do experience the "big firsts" but it's the little daily activities that I truly relish.  An average trip to the grocery store is always interesting, especially now that Kiera is so interactive.  She always seems to draw attention from at least one person when she flashes that little four-toothed smile;  Mommy is biased and knows that she is cute but the positive reinforcement helps!  ( :   I like to spend the time in the store showing her things- a bumpy, round orange; bright purple flowers with the crinkly wrapping; soft, warm bread....  sometimes I get strange looks- both from her and passers-by, but I don't really care.  Part of my job is to enrich her world and let her experience 'things' and learn in a fun, easy way.  I've been trying to also integrate the baby sign language that I know if appropriate.  I imagine that someday she's going to stand up in the cart and ask for a warm crinkly orange..... 

Kiera likes to go shopping!  YAY!  (Daddy says, "Boo!")  I let her experience the world upright from the seat of a shopping cart (as opposed to her car seat attached to it) a few weeks ago (love, love the shopping cart/high chair cover by Eddie Bauer) and she was so funny to watch.  She was totally excited about this really cute baby that she met... who just happened to be herself in the mirror at Old Navy!  She's a 'people person,' I tell ya- tries to engage with anyone that she comes across.... this is great for making new friends but a bit frustrating when you are trying to feed her and she just wants to chat with a new friend! Between Old Navy/ Target, Grandma BB and her and I were out for a few hours and she didn't make one protest- I'm sure that she felt like such a big girl hanging out doing Mommy stuff! ( :

Kiera is right on par with her development; I sometimes think that she's grown just from the time I dropped her off for daycare at Grandma's to when I pick her up to go home!  She's not yet crawling- pretty close- but rolls everywhere like a little speed demon.  (We're set to baby-proof- I mean parent-proof- the house within the next week or so.) She's been sitting up unaided for a few weeks, but only sits up from lying down every so often....ya- why work the abs on your own when one of your peeps will prop you up!?! 

I love to hand her a new toy and watch her turn and investigate it from all angles- her favorite, of course is to taste it. Now that she has sprouted four teeth (she waited until eight months and got them all within about 10 days...) everything is going in her mouth, which means we have to be diligent in watching her.

No matter what we are doing, the three of us just have a blast together.  She's mostly a happy baby girl- a few rough days here and there when her "teefs" are bothering her (bless you Hyland's teething tablets!) or she's ultra-tired and doesn't want to go to sleep in fear of missing out (Mommy much?) on something good!  Little Kiera is our little sunshine- we both beam when we see her, but the way that her Daddy melts in her presence is just amazing- we're some lucky people!  But is it going by so fast- she's growing like a weed, the time is flying by;  everyone tells you to enjoy it while you can and I think I'm finally realizing why!

All I Need is a Lemonade and a Rocking Chair.....

I'm sitting here with the Lakers/ Kings basketball game playing in the background (and despite being a King's fan...hoping secretly that the Laker's actually win so that I don't have to hear my dear husband curse up a blue streak....) also doing one of my new favorite past times: Kiera- watching.  She has noticably gone through a huge developmental stage since February.  At about six months, within just a week she was holding her own bottle and discovering that she could play 'bongo' on every surface imaginable and even sit up unsupported and quite wobbly!  Now, at nearly eight months, she is even more fun to play with- one of her new favorite things is to roll around.. all over.  From front to back, back to front and even left and right, she rolls around all over the place (note to self: get the carpets cleaned and fast!) exploring things that she encounters in her small little world- like spots on the carpet or the many toys that we place around her.    And she's fast.... like a little Tasmanian devil rolling all over the place.  Her first few attempts to roll over unaided were a slow and frustrating process; but once she figured out to fling the arm up she's now a champion flipper!  She has also found her voice within just the last week and obviously has something to say!

I love to listen to her tell us all about her day in her gravelly baby voice,  'dadaaa daaaaa da'  she says and looks up so proud.  Of course we know that she is telling us about her fantastic day at either Nanny Barbara's or Gwamma's.... and we pretend that we completely understand.  I'm thoroughly entranced by watching life thorugh my daughter's eyes.  I love to watch her get so excited when she sees one of us for the first time in the evening; or how her BFF- Gyaffgyaff pacifies her; how she makes a funny face at the first bite of her solid foods or the wide-eyed wonder of watching Dusty cat stroll on by.  The simple things... pure innocence.  I hope that she gets to stay that way for a long time- innocent, happy, gentle and sweet.  I also hope that I can protect her from the big, bad world out there and that she keeps happily rolling through her day.........

Terrific Tuesday: Rollin, Rollin, Rollin....

Yes... it's finally happened!!!  Kiera has rolled over from her stomach to her back for the very first time! (Well, that WE saw- we asked the grandparents and our caregiver to not tell us if she did it there first!!)  Just one day shy of her 26-week 'Birfday' and after some 'show and tell' by her BFF Kennadie (that really was a coincidence, no?), she just went right along and flipped over like she was an ol' pro and has been doing it forever!  Then she looked at us as we were cheering and clapping like, "what the heck??" and then put her back on her tummy to see if she would do it again.... and she did although a bit slower this time.  And then she was done......... D-O-N-E, done.  She doesn't get ticked off very often (we're spoiled like that, remember?) but her crying definately let us know that "silly human baby tricks" time was over. 

Yes, six months might be a bit late for the 'rolling' milestone... I haven't been a big fan of 'Tummy Time' so far... so call me a bad Mommy for letting her dictate what we want her to do.... whatever.  She just doesn't like 'Tummy Time,' and since I am a working mom, and my quality time with her Monday through Friday is limited, I prefer to spend happy time with her.  So, the pediatrician did say that putting her on her cute little belly would give her incentive to flop over... well soon enough the rolling over trick will be a daily occurance and not just another fleeting Mommarazzi moment.  At least when she goes to her six-month appointment next week, we will be honestly saying that she is rolling over... and her rolling means that she's just a short time from crawling and having to baby-proof the house.... it's been nice knowing that she stays in one place; AND not having to worry about peeing myself while fumbling with the baby-proof lock on the toilet at night!

The Hardest Part of Motherhood.... So Far

I really 'feel' like a mom. Not because I’ve carried and borne a child. Nor because I have laundered and folded (and also tossed into the corner) tiny little onesies and socks. Or changed poopy diapers and cleaned spit-up (for the hundredth time- already) from my shirt and surrounding furniture. Or that I clip coupons, freeze meals or browse craigslist and yard sales for good baby deals. I feel like a mom now because I have shed inevitable tears for my daughter. Not those of joy like from the first few hours after she was born, but tears of worry and sadness. I'm sure it all comes with the territory, but it doesn't mean that I have to like it!

Within the past few weeks, I’ve had several instances where being Kiera's Mommy has brought me to tears. The first were during her two-month-old shots (it might have been because I also got my flu shots at the same time) when she cried out in pain from the three needle sticks and icky crap they put in her mouth. Fortunately for us, it was short lived and Baby Kiera won’t remember it (I, on the other hand, will!). In comparison, her four-month shots were brutal. Only two needle pokes but they made her cry for nearly an hour. And it was a cry of anguish that I’ve not really heard before. 


We are very lucky parents- Kiera is a sweet natured little soul and very rarely cries for more than a few minutes- it’s usually because a) she’s hungry b) she’s tired and is fighting nappy time or c) there is something really wrong. This cry was d) none of the above.  It was a full-body sobbing, lip quivering, tears streaming down her cheeks, raspy throated wail. It didn’t even bother me that I was getting stared at by passers-by whom I sure were wondering why the hell I couldn’t shut my child up. (Hello people- I was at a doctors office- not Disneyland!) It hurt me to the core to see her like that even though I knew why she was so upset and the episode would be short lived. And it was- once she finally cried herself to sleep, she was same perky self when she woke up. She forgot; I didn’t.


Just two days later, my "mom-ness" was taken to a new level. I was doing a little last minute shopping with my own mom and called Jason to tell him that we were running late. He answered quickly and proceeded to tell me he had been in a car accident- and he had Kiera. Although he did tell me that it was relatively minor; I immediately felt sick to my stomach. I quickly found my mom and made a beeline to where he said they were. It took every ounce of will power to maintain a collected composure. All of the cars were moved to a nearby parking lot and even though there weren’t any emergency vehicles other than two police cars, I still lost it when I saw Jason. I was worried sick, physically sick over Kiera’s well being. I was worried about my husband too, but Kiera was of course my first concern.  I was worried beyond any level that I thought possible before I became a mother. Okay, so part of it was because of having to make a second claim with our insurance in a week- yes, seven days (some nice, nice-  I have another name for them that's best not written on a blog- person decided to back over the hood of my car in a parking lot and just drove away- $4,100 in damage later); and possibly having to replace the car seat of our Graco travel system; but the thought of anything happening to my daughter was sickening. About the accident: to make a long story short, an unlicensed, uninsured teenager failed to yield- or look, for that matter- while turning right on a red and sideswiped my husband; and in trying to avoid a more serious collision, he swerved and hit the SUV in the lane next to him. There were no injuries, and even the damage to the cars were minor, but it didn’t matter. Anyways, Kiera was fine- she cried because she could feel our agitation. A few hours later, she was smiling like she usually does. (On a side note: we received the police report, and the investigation has found that the red-light runner was 100% at fault- now we just have to see what our insurance company does. The damage to the car that Jason hit was a dent the size of an orange on the front quarter panel of the SUV. )

Wordless Wednesday- "KIERAsmas Present- Baby's First Christmas"

Giving Thanks

It has been a good year. It’s a true blessing to be able to say that because at this same time last year, it didn’t seem like things were going to be going in the right direction.



My first round of Clomid after months of testing had me wondering if the efforts were futile; I had a run-in, literally, with a stone post in my driveway that was pretty costly; money was tight due to a job change for Jason and the first check not coming ‘til after the first of the year; I learned that they were relocating my office and laying off a very dear co-worker and my mom and step-dad separated after 27 years of marriage. There wasn’t a lot of “Happy” in that particular holiday season. Somehow Jason and I managed to stick together and make the best of the situation, and we enjoyed the spirit of the season.


Our true gift arrived in the form of two little blue lines on a pee-stick on the morning of December 27, 2008. The test showed that we were going to finally have a family together. God bless Clomid. As far as the other stress that we were dealing with: the car was repaired rather quickly and the co-pay was generously paid by Jason’s mom; relocating to Folsom meant meeting new people and becoming even better friends with

The 23rd

23 is a memorable number for me-  the great Michael Jordan wore #23; the earth is on a 23 degree angle; "W" is the 23rd letter of the alphabet (our last name); we both contributed 23 chromosomes to our darling daughter; and one of the main reasons that I quite often play that number in roulette is that March 23rd is our wedding anniversary.  It has nothing to do with the crappy movie starring Jim Carrey- ugh- 95 minutes of my life I will never get back.  And the 23rd is now going to be remembered as the first day that I had to rejoin the working world and leave my sweet baby girl all day.  Yes, hundreds of thousands of people do it every day.

But I had no idea that it would suck so much.  Not my job, but having to not be with Kiera all day.  I tried my best to not make it harder and counted down the minutes (not usually a clockwatcher!) until I got to leave and rush home to pick her up.  I held out as long as I could (early afternoon) to call and check on her; Jason didn't- he called in the morning.  The morning exit strategy is as painless for me as I could hope as Jason is dropping Kiera off at his mom's house this week.  That means that I'm still too busy getting ready so the sendoff is quick and without much fanfare.  I still cried....


Don't get me wrong- I'm thrilled that little Kiera is in such great hands for daycare during the upcoming weeks by spending time with all of her grandparents- how lucky is that?  But still, I'm totally jealous as I WANT to be with her.  (Do you think I can sneak her into the office discreetly tucked into my favorite Coach bag???)   I know that it is much harder for me than it is for her.  As long as she is fed her moo-juice and is being pampered (literally!) she's a happy camper.  Me, on the other hand is at work, wishing that I could change the Pampers.  In the early weeks, I couldn't wait to go back to work; and in all honesty I have to say that it is nice to get up, get dressed and go to work and feel accomplished.  But I miss that angelic little face smiling at me all day- I miss feeling needed by this incredible little person.  Such conflict! 

I know that it will get better and the three of us will adapt to a little routine and our lives will settle into some pattern of normalcy.  I'm looking forward to seeing what those normal days look like, but that certainly won't be until after we get through the holidays, I'm sure!  Now I just look forward to 4 o'clock-  when I can go home and see my baby girl.  She is a great reason to work and to have the opportunity to spoil her to no end.  She is my reason for everything.


At least I had a nice little surprise waiting for me when I got back:

(Thanks Erika!!!)   ( :

Separation Anxiety

(The past week was so very, very busy…. I started writing a blog post on Monday and it still sits six days later. I’m not back to work yet, so I can only hope that this beloved blog doesn’t get too neglected.)


Monday marked a definite first for this new Mommy. I participated in a vendor fair for most of the day and left Baby Kiera to spend some quality time with Gramma Linda and Grampy Don. So, Mommy had the first taste of working and spent nearly eight whole hours without her baby. Separated for a lengthy amount of time- Traumatic, I say!


The event kept me busy all day so I didn’t really have time to think about anything but what I was doing at that particular moment. However, on the drive over to my Dad’s to pick up my daughter from her very first day of ‘daycare,’ I was so excited to see her and then it hit me how hard it is going to be when I return to the working world in just one short week. It will definitely be very hard but an unfortunate reality of the working mom.


I never had any interest in being a permanent ‘stay-at-home’ mom before having Kiera- I don’t know that I do even now. I’m not saying that either the working mom or stay-at-home mom is best or right. Every family has to do what is right for them both financially and emotionally. It’s only been a few weeks since I’ve started to really enjoy this ‘mom thing’ and I’ve been having a blast getting to know my precious little angel- especially the mornings as they are the best! (For any new mommies reading this- what you are experiencing this very moment is hard to comprehend, but savor the moment and enjoy it as much as you can. You’ll be like me and look back and think it wasn’t so bad- just very different.) So the thought of returning to work after 14 weeks is bittersweet. For me, the financial and emotional aren’t matching up at this exact time as we can’t afford to be a one-income family with our nice house payment! Not to mention, being a full-time stay-at-home mom (SAHM) is a very difficult job….. harder than my regular day job for sure. Anyone that thinks that SAHM’s sit around and watch TV all day has no idea that sitting generally isn’t part of the equation.


I’ve had the opportunity to not have to worry about the alarm clock while on leave, but any inkling of ‘sleeping in’ is based purely on Kiera’s time schedule and not mine- and also that is uninterrupted sleep thanks to early morning feedings. The TV is on more for background noise that for me to catch up on the steamy soap operas or afternoon talkshows. (There are so many hours of recordings of my fave programs baglogged on the DVR that it isn’t even funny.) Even catching up on laundry is challenging- did you know that a baby goes through a minimum of three outfits a day? Trust me- the cutest outfits are the perfect targets for a lava-like flow of moo-juice.


I’ve been a Project Manager at a major real estate company- a job that I love- for almost eight years. I am also very, very fortunate to have a job in today’s economy. It would be nice to have the best of both worlds and spend my mornings with Kiera and then go to work say around noonish! Conflicted for sure, but good in the long run. I don’t want to feel guilty for going to work every day- I’m good at what I do, enjoy it very much and want to be able to provide for my family. If we were in a situation where I didn't have to work I don’t even know if I would jump on the opportunity to stay home all of the time. I think that working families have great relationships- it just takes some juggling to ensure that life goes as smoothly as possible.


It will be good for me to get on a schedule and go back to work. A big emphasis on schedule. I kind of miss having a to-do list that has something else added to it besides 1) Change Diaper 2) Feed Baby 3) Rinse and Repeat. Especially now that I am starting to get the hang of all of the nuances of motherhood and can actually multi-task again! (I’m going to keep this in mind when I have one of those crazy-ass days at work!)


On Wednesday, I had to try to conform to a schedule as I had to work again for a few hours to teach a class. Fortunately it was a holiday for Jason so that we didn’t have to worry about daycare (which was also kind of a bummer- he was off and I had to work!) It was nice to get back to something that was very controllable and familiar (not like parenting- all bets are off). I was euphoric driving home, excited about a great day at work, but certainly looking forward to seeing my daughter that I missed so much. (And you bet that I took the opportunity to show her off during my class- what proud Mommy wouldn’t?) Being away made me appreciate her so much more; and you have no idea how wonderful that it was to have a two-way adult conversation. We’ll see what I think of this in a few weeks…. it will be interesting to see how well I can adjust to the challenge of being a working mom. Now I just get to add another title to my working one: Taxi-Driver/ Chief-Bottle-Washer/ Laundress/ Maid/ Pillow and of course, my favorite honor: Mommy!

Worth 1,000 Words....

Aside from being Kiera’s 11 week birthday, today was what you could call an ordinary day. Nothing monumental happened; but it certainly wasn’t ordinary. (Wait, I take that back- I was looking for the last possible place that I thought my wedding ring might have disappeared to- behind or under the couch- and I found it! It was tucked under the arm and cushion of the couch… I knew it was somewhere in the house… I’m so relieved!) Nothing about life in our house has been ordinary since August 18th- technically since December 27th- since we brought our little miracle home from the hospital. We’ll say ordinary just for lack of a better word at this point. I’m trying to spend the last few weeks of maternity leave relishing every second that I get to spend with Kie. And I must say that every second is becoming more and more fun…. Especially since my days are filled with baby smiles.



The first few weeks of her life, the most exciting part of the day was when she had her eyes open…. As you well know, newborns sleep a ton and when they’re awake, it’s likely that they are eating and that’s about it. The relationship is extremely one-sided; not much give and pretty much all take. You wait impatiently for waking moments- make that daylight waking moments for your sole reward of getting to gaze into the little ones eyes for just a bit, or to listen to her “purr” during feedings as a small gesture of gratitude. The hope of seeing a smile was rare- unless of course, she was sleeping! The waking periods were unpredictable- she was eight weeks old before Jason’s mom actually got to see her awake; and the waiting can also be exhausting. I was certainly looking forward to when there would be much more joy in this particular bundle! And I haven’t been disappointed.

In stage two, we went from waiting for her to be awake to looking for that slightest hint of a smile….when she wasn’t sleeping! Here’s my joy- the first waking smiles were priceless, although elusive to catch on film! I would patiently hover over the poor child with camera in hand shooting picture after picture hoping to record one for posterity-- unfortunately she would also stare back wondering what the heck I was doing and not smile.  Jason thinks I'm wacky since I always have a camera at the ready to capture priceless moments.  I'm quite fanatical about capturing a perfect moment and I've been dubbed the "mom-arazzi."  (At least now Kiera is quite a ham for the camera and breaks into full-blown smile!)

Coincidentally, Kiera’s regular smiles began around the same time that she began holding her head up on her own at nearly eight weeks. Within the past week, she has started showering us with smiles so frequently that it doesn’t feel quite so much like an Easter Egg hunt- but it is still exciting and contagious. My particular favorite smile is during feeding time when she spits out the nipple and then smiles up at you- it’s just too darn cute for words and makes me laugh every time. You can’t help but also smile right on back when she flashes that ear-to-ear toothless grin! She has this adorable Elvis-esque smile- she squints an eye and lifts up one side of her lip and then breaks into a full-blown grin, usually with her whole body as she excitedly circles her arms in the air and kicks her feet. I can now tell when she is going to smile because the eyes smile first- she gets that from her Daddy! I hope that she also has her Daddy’s infectious laugh; waiting for that is going to be stage three and even more priceless than Kiera’s miles of smiles. These wonderful baby smiles… they’re so rewarding.

Our First Family Outing!!!!!!!

We had our first BIG family excursion over Columbus Day weekend with a trip to Apple Hill. This is an annual event that Jason and I have enjoyed every October since we first got together over 10 years ago (we just celebrated our ten year anniversary!) and it was exciting to take Baby Kiera up there this year. Last year we had *wished* that 'next year maybe we'll be bringing along a Baby Waggoner!'  Even though she is just an itty bitty, it was so wonderful to share with her a part of Fall that I just totally love! Wonderful weather, picture perfect foliage and yummy apple donuts, apple pie, well, apple EVERYTHING! It was a BEAUTIFUL day- and unfortunately thousands of other people had the same exact idea that we did- to enjoy Apple Hill this particular Saturday.

On our way up the hill, we stopped at my office in Folsom to see Sher and had a nice visit. This got us to Apple Hill around noon and the traffic was already backed up at the first two exits. Neither Jason nor I are fond of large crowds so we were trying to think of an alternate plan (go to Tahoe) but the thought of apple donuts totally had us drooling! We accidentally discovered that the secret to avoiding the long line of cars is to go to the Camino exit- that’s closest to Rainbow Orchards anyways and they have the BEST apple donuts up there! My only regret for my visit here is that Jason, sparing caloric intake, only ordered six donuts….. “because we’ll eat them all…” yes, that was my plan…. to enjoy every single crumb (and if he's lucky, I'll share!) (Donuts and Coke are two lingering cravings from pregnancy!) A proper meal wouldn't be without having dessert before lunch- a yummy barbequed tri-tip sandwich and fresh apple cider…. And of course, we had to ruin the whole thing and actually get some healthy apples. *hee hee* I tried a new one this year- JonaGold- and it was crunchy and sweet-tart- yum! (Wait until you hear my recipe for Caramel Apple Dip to make them even better!) We shared our table with four people from Southern California who in turn shared a piece of apple pie with us- I think we definately got the better end of the deal!

We then went to Bolster’s Hilltop Ranch- took some great photos and stood in a really, really long and slow line for a caramel apple that was to die for…. It was so good. And then we were tired of the crowds (see?) and decided to still drive up to Tahoe to see the foliage and drive around the lake. The Aspen trees over Luther Pass on Hwy 89 hadn’t really begun changing yet but it was still a beautiful drive. We made a short pit stop in South Shore (yes, honey, with tag team baby duty, both of us can still gamble!  HA!) , and drove 89 over to Truckee and I-80 to avoid the Apple Hill traffic on the return. Jason had an ulterior motive too- he wanted to stop in Colfax for Pizza Factory pizza (me donuts, he pizza!).

Kiera was a complete angel the entire trip- she was awake for awhile but mostly enjoyed the views from behind closed eyes from the sling or her comfy car seat! She is a great traveling companion! It was a great day for the Waggoner fam and we are looking forward to sharing it with her again next year!

Oh… I almost forgot my recipe for the apple dip…. I commonly refer to this as apple “crack” as it is highly addictive.

8 oz.- cream cheese, softened (don’t even bother with low fat…..)

¼ c. brown sugar

½ tbsp of vanilla

½ bottle of Smucker’s Caramel topping

½ cup of finely chopped peanuts or toffee chips (Heath)

Add first four ingredients to a microwave safe bowl and cook for 3 minutes. Stir thoroughly and pour in peanuts or toffee, heat again for 1 minute. Serve warm with apple wedges, graham crackers or over ice cream!   Oh, hell, why bother- just use a big ol' wooden spoon....

Daddy & Baby Ki

 
 
 
 

   Family Picture Op!             

 

Aspens at Luther Pass

Tahoe            

An infamous apple DONUT!

"Dad- you ate ALL the donuts? 

What is this "sharing" that you refer to?"