The Avalanche Continues....

(I'd prefer to title this My Life is a Shitstorm, but to avoid being moderated I decided to use some filter)
There are not enough martinis or lattes to help me through the hardships that has fallen upon my family.   
      Trust me, I'm not a 'woes me' kind of girl and am one to tend to see the glass as half full but there's just a point in your life where you have to say ENOUGH. I'm waving the red flag now, unfortunately, my surrender will have to wait a bit longer.
     My mom has been hospitalized with a long-term illness since March 7th- nearly two months of daily hospital visits and holding my breath whenever the phone rings. For the most part the journey has been emotionally taxing, not to mention one that took a toll on my job, my home-based business, my husband, my daughter, my friendships and even my health.  It's been a roller-coaster ride that I would very much NOT like to repeat in this lifetime; unfortunately it's getting worse. 
      I underwent my very first invasive surgery last week (the same day mom had a tracheotomy!)- had to have a cholecystectomy- a fancy medical term for gall bladder removal. Okay, so I wasn't even quite sure what a gall bladder did until it kicked me in the ass, er, rib cage a few weeks ago.  I was leaving the hospital after visiting with Mom and had the inclination to walk myself into the ER on my way to the parking lot, but that hospital wasn't my provider. After agonizing at home for a few hours, and a call to the advice nurse, we dropped Mini off at the grandparents and went to the ER.  The nurse called it on the spot- I guess fluffy (not so much anymore) white females of childbearing age present for gall bladder disease quite commonly. I thought I was going to give birth again. Quite painful. After a five hour stint, I was released with pain meds and a follow-up appointment for an ultrasound. The ultrasound did in fact determine that I had gall stones and would need a surgical follow-up. Fortunately, I wasn't harboring an infection and didn't need emergency surgery, but would have to watch my diet.
      This is something that is normally caused by a fat-laden diet, which mine is not. I am not a fast-food junkie- my idea of fast food is in fact Subway.... well there is that pregnancy craving of an occasional crumb cake donut- so what if I've had 32 months to do so.  I suspect that it was a rapid weight loss with the stress of my Mom's medical situation that caused my gall bladder to produce enough stones to fill up more than half of its capacity. Meanwhile, I've been off of my feet to recover and Anti-latte had to fill in my spot to go visit my mom, and his step-dad and take care of Mini and take care of me. I swear that I was as low maintenance as possible. Even after the second 11-hour ER visit (long story- I'm fine, but a bit pissed at said hospital's lack of ultrasound techs during the night shift). I'm recovering although a bit slower than I had hoped- I suspect an inordinate amount of stress has been a factor.  What's more stressful than a loved one being hospitalized and undergoing the knife yourself? Oh just a the fact that I hate CANCER.
    My father-in-law has been battling a very nasty bout of pneumonia, well, since my mom was hospitalized, actually, and an infection on top of that. He visited my mom at the hospital when she was on her deathbed and it prompted him to quit smoking cold turkey. Between being ill and the smoking cessation patch, he has been really miserable and after several weeks and numerous doctors appointments, he has been diagnosed with lung cancer.  After his initial diagnosis he had to wait for almost two weeks to meet with an oncologist to find out that it was Stage 4, and that is had spread to his liver, lymph nodes and more. As I write, Anti-latte and his mom and other family members are awaiting a visit from the hospital chaplain to discuss the plan to discharge his to hospice to live out his final days. We thought it would be months, but there's a chance that it could be just hours..... so fast. It was like he was playing with Mini one day and unable to walk the next. Now he is suffering and everyone sits by to support him.  It's torturous. I love this man and know how the family feels- the waiting and pleading is all too fresh in my memory from seven weeks ago. Now we just hope that with enough medical intervention, they can keep him comfortable. We'll surround him with all the love that he needs while we await him earning his wings.  I know that Mini will miss him dearly and we'll ensure that she won't forget the man who claims that she has his eyes.... (um, no, but it was always a source of laughs at family get togethers.)
     This presents an additional problem with child care as they were my main providers- we can wing it for the next week while I'm on medical leave and then have to figure out what to do next. Mini's grandmas' #1 priority should be caring for her husband... I think I have it figured out, but it's yet another stressor to deal with.
     And if that isn't quite enough to make anyone crazy, there's more.  We've had two other family members who had to make ER visits within the last 12 hours; and my mom was moved to another care facility that is a 40-minute drive away. It's a step-down rehab unit to prepare her for surgery, still a hospital, but the drive is going to be so very inconvenient. I used to work out that way and don't look forward to the daily commute, but we do what we have to do. It's just another wrinkle.... as usual, I'll iron it out..... your good vibes and prayers are much appreciated.
    

Happy Birthday!

Do you know that I find my husband a little difficult to shop for?  Well, on a budget at least!  I'd love to get him a Garmin GPS watch for his running so he'll quit cursing at the dang Nike+ and his iPod but that's over $300....  actually Kiera and I would love to get him a new car along with free parking near his new office site, but again, not in the budget.  Of course I could get him something that I would love too- like a new SFR camera or big screen tv for the bedroom, but that's not exactly fair since it is HIS birthday, so I'm giving him the next best thing that money can't buy: his picture splashed all over the internet and professing my love so everyone else can read....  wow!  Now, that's a gift! ( ;

Happy Birthday Jason- thank you for being you: thank you for being a super wonderful dad to our wonderful little girl and thank you so much for choosing one of my favorite restaurants tonight for dinner!  I love you!  Now I just have 364 days to think of a fabulous present for your big FOUR-OH.....

My Crappiest Post Yet....

I'm starting with the full disclosure that this post should not be read on an full stomach, or when you're hungry, or if you have no sense of humor.... it's about poop... yep, number two- so don't say I didn't warn you. 

Being a parent means that you are going to deal with bodily functions quite often- projectile vomiting (not yet, thank goodness and knock on wood), dirty diapers, snotty noses, spit-up- a definate right of passage when you are a Mommy- or in this case, a Daddy.  On Monday, after a fun and free (thank you Sacramento Zoo!) afternoon hanging out with Grandma H, we decided to go out to eat dinner (never mind the 400 lbs. of food left over from the birthday bash....) we went to a local pizza/ restaurant- a nice one- cloth napkins and two forks even.  So the three and a half of us settle in for a leisurely dinner and the dinner convo rolls around to poop (somehow reminds me of the family dinner table during high school) after my dear hubby- who is holding the 'half'- states that he feels a bubbling on his leg and thinks she's 'makin' a present.'  I confirm just by looking at her- she has the cutest little poopie face that you could ever imagine (sometimes accompanied by fists of fury too).  After the childish giggles subside, he slings the diaper bag over the shoulder and ventures to the bathroom for a change.  Usually this is a quick turn to let me know that there isn't a changing 'table' (I use that term loosely for those annoying but necessary plastic contraptions attached to walls in public bathrooms) and passing the girl over to me (I will hold the rant for lackof said changing tables in most 'family' venues to another post).  I instead suggest that he go out to the car- the empty trunk, or the stroller is much more convenient.  Kiera HATES those hard changing tables, so I try to avoid using them if possible- I'm becoming so proficient at 'car' changes!

After a few minutes, being the loving wife that I am, decided to go help knowing that she can be a handful when you try to re-dress her and am surprised to see him heading back my way.  Much to his surprise, her 'present' had somehow 'bubbled' out of the side of her diaper (pull out the ruffles!) and right onto his white shorts.  Don't ask me how I managed to not laugh out loud because I was ROFLMAO inside!  Yep- there was a ginourmous pea poo-green streak across his shorts at mid-thigh level. And me? I'm worried that she got any on her.... nope- none on her OR even in the diaper really.  It's all on Jason... who goes inside to clean up.

So, I change her, and return to a nearly empty (thank GAWD for Jason's sake) restaurant to finish dinner... sort of.  We were still a bit childish and couldn't help but laugh at the sheer talent of the mini one of how she could position herself to miss the diaper and hit his leg.... thankfully he wasn't wearing his running shorts with the shorter inseam!!!  Or worse??  Ewww....  Well, it was so bad, and I'm such a crappy (ha!) wife, that I made him walk home. (Just kidding!  Kiera had fallen asleep in her stroller so he decided to walk her the 1.5 miles home instead of having to wake up the birthday hung-over sleeping babe).

As  you very well know that 'fun' stuff always happens in pairs or sets, so leave it to 'Mr. Murphy' for Kiera to pick the moment that we set her in a bath (perfect storm- she usually gets the bath in the evening but since she was so tired from a day at the zoo and playing with Grandma, we put her straght to bed; I had a fleeting thought to wait a few minutes as she's pretty 'regular' so we didn't have to give the bathtub a bath also.  Yeah.  Not sure which one of us noticed the poopie face first.  So, what do you do?  Grab a diaper and try to patch the hole?  Empty out the water (yep, full of water)? Aim her over the toilet?  Nope- fish the bath toys out of the water and wait.  And yes, the bathtub and bathseat also got their own bath prior to Take Two.  Er, no pun intended....

And for the trifecta?  Instead of peeking into the next diaper- he sticks his finger down her back.... yep.  Surprise!  Oh, they joys of parenthood and learning the hard way! ( :

Giving Thanks

It has been a good year. It’s a true blessing to be able to say that because at this same time last year, it didn’t seem like things were going to be going in the right direction.



My first round of Clomid after months of testing had me wondering if the efforts were futile; I had a run-in, literally, with a stone post in my driveway that was pretty costly; money was tight due to a job change for Jason and the first check not coming ‘til after the first of the year; I learned that they were relocating my office and laying off a very dear co-worker and my mom and step-dad separated after 27 years of marriage. There wasn’t a lot of “Happy” in that particular holiday season. Somehow Jason and I managed to stick together and make the best of the situation, and we enjoyed the spirit of the season.


Our true gift arrived in the form of two little blue lines on a pee-stick on the morning of December 27, 2008. The test showed that we were going to finally have a family together. God bless Clomid. As far as the other stress that we were dealing with: the car was repaired rather quickly and the co-pay was generously paid by Jason’s mom; relocating to Folsom meant meeting new people and becoming even better friends with

I just have to say that I HEART my iPhone

for endless hours of productivity and entertainment

and of course an at-hand opportunity to snap

limitless photos of sweet baby! 

And now a FREE Photoshop App? 

How cool- it's very basic, but fun none-the-less. 

Here's some random photos to kick off a

wonderful holiday season:

Warhol-esqe Baby Kiera:

A totally handsome tech guy and a cute little girl: chalk art style:

Artsy Baby (Blur Vignette Saturation w/ Border)

It's a Special Day

Ten years ago, we celebrated your first birthday together- we were both ‘starving’ college students and I couldn’t afford much of a birthday present for you: I think I gave you a Monopoly game, a shirt and a card and then I ‘cooked’ you a take & bake pizza. I’m not sure if we ever cracked open that Monopoly game (we still have it though!), but the pizza is long gone! A lot has changed since then: college graduations and successful careers, the Rams took a complete nose dive from Super Bowl champions (but I still love you!), we’ve now been happily married for nearly eight years, we’re in our second house together, I cook a lot more than take & bake pizza and one of the best changes is that we finally have a beautiful daughter we’ve dreamt about for so long. In as much has changed, just as much has stayed the same: you’re still a die hard Rams/ Lakers/ Dodgers fan, you can still eat pizza 24/ 7, we still have our ‘starter kids’- Shyner and Dusty (plus two more!), we love hanging out together doing absolutely nothing and you still are my favorite team mate.

I could say that my love for you hasn’t changed, but that actually isn’t true- I love you so much more than the day that we met at Starbuck’s for coffee (that you don’t drink!). We are just different enough to keep life interesting, yet we share so much that we naturally compliment each other. I could only hope that everyone else on the planet is lucky enough to meet someone like you; someone to stand on the sidelines and cheer them on; someone to pump them up before facing the challenging opponents, a team mate to block the tough tackles and someone to celebrate with after victories both large and small. It’s hard to imagine that I could love you more, but my heart fills with so much happiness and joy when I see you with Kiera. You are such a wonderful father to her even after just 13 short weeks; I so look forward to watching you enjoy her as she grows up. I’ve never seen you laugh so hard, smile so much or love so unconditionally as with your daughter and today on your birthday, it’s a gift that you give to me: memories that will never fade.

Thank you for being there for me through thick and thin these past 10 years, for making me a better person, for loving me, loving us and for just being Jason.   I hope that you enjoy your first birthday as a Daddy!  ( :

Go Team Waggoner!

Happy Birthday, honey!